


Awkward Silence

by LadyBardock



Series: Darkness [8]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Awkward Romance, M/M, Orphanage, Orphans, Past Child Abuse, Rock Stars, Sibling Incest, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-05-01 23:51:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 80,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5225915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyBardock/pseuds/LadyBardock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili is a huge fan of a rock star, but he's too shy and reserved to approach his idol even when he gets the chance. His past childhood experiences making him even more withdrawn and timid.<br/>Fili, a successful singer, despite the fame and fortune, is shy and self-concious. They meet by accident and long to be together, but none of them has the courage to try anything... My attempt at very slow burn - irritating longing and heartbreak and romance.</p><p>Modern AU, Kili/Fili. Incest relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Isn’t that the lead singer from ‘Sunken’?” Tauriel gasped to her best friend Kili as they were settling in a posh restaurant. Tauriel was rich as rich came, but Kili wasn’t. She would spoil him from time to time with good food or presents, but Kili had his limits for accepting charity.

“Who cares?” Kili scolded her. “He’s probably here to eat dinner peacefully, and he won’t be thrilled to be approached by groupies.” Kili hissed at her.

“You’ve got a stick up your ass...” Tauriel sniggered.

Kili gazed at the handsome blond at the table sitting alone. He was so handsome in real life, even more than on TV or the concerts. His hair slightly too long nicely framing his face. His blue eyes focused on the menu clearly lost in thought. There was no way he would approach him in a situation like this. Just because he felt attracted to him, just because he was practically obsessed with him, it didn’t mean Kili would cross the borders of politeness. He knew his place.

But Tauriel didn’t. Kili suddenly realised she was right next to the blond, as she casually sat in front of him and began chatting to him and placed a CD in front of the blond with a kind smile.

“She’s fucking unbelievable...” Kili hissed.

“Sorry to be taking your time, but my friend is a huge fan of yours, but he’s too shy to come over himself.” Tauriel smiled her best flirtatious smile and place the CD on the table. “I’d really appreciate an autograph.”

Fili glanced at her surprised. He felt a bit annoyed someone would bother him even there, in one of the most expensive posh restaurants, but since she was already there, he quickly grabbed a pen and signed the cover of the CD.

“Thank you!” She smiled at him and quickly left.

He gazed at her as she was walking back to one of the tables, where a cute brunet boy was sitting. She gave him the CD with a huge smile, and Fili saw those deep brown eyes light up with joy. Suddenly the annoyance left him as soon as it appeared, the boy glanced shyly in his direction and clutched the CD firmly. The girl just smiled at him and began chatting to the boy. Fili suddenly felt interested, were they a couple? Or just friends? Who was rich or maybe both of them were? Were they still in high school or already at university?

“Have you ordered?” His uncle arrived and sat down in front of him, but Fili could only think of two warm amber eyes shine with joy the whole dinner. He kept glancing at the table where the red head and the boy were sitting, and he felt the boy glance at him back. But as the dinner ended nothing happened.

Fili came home with a feeling he just missed out on something, and that longing he was feeling forced him to sit down and play music and sing.

\------

“Kili can you take out the batch?” Bilbo asked his favourite foster son.

“I’m on it Bilbo!” Kili told him.

They were in their new coffee shop. Bilbo had decided to invest some money he inherited from his grandfather Mungo and he bought a nice cafe in a posh area of London, just under the huge flat left behind by Primula Paladin, Frodo’s deceased mother. His foster children were helping out as much as they could, all four of them working part time in the cafe and studying. The youngest Frodo was still in school, but the Luin brothers, Nori, Dori and Ori along with Kili Oakenshield spent at least two days a week helping out. It was the best logical decision for them, especially when the foster allowance ended for all four of the boys and Bilbo stubbornly decided to pay for their studies.

“I’m so worried about this!” Bilbo hissed at his son.

“Relax, rich or poor, they will all love eating your cakes!” Kili told him with a bright smile.

The first few days many smiling unsure faces gazed in, and many tempted by the smell bought the first cakes and pastries. Soon more and more people were visiting the coffee shop, and Bilbo had to arrange more working hours for the boys to cover the demand. Kili firmly said he had enough time to help out even more and without accepting any excuses from Bilbo, he began helping out even more. Tauriel was complaining a bit he didn’t have enough time for her, but for Kili his family always came first. Especially Bilbo who saved him from the orphanage and his dull past life.

One calm morning a sudden “Good Morning!” in a calm melodic voice almost made Kili jump out of his skin. He glanced at the blond walking in casually and glancing at the display. Kili felt dumb folded, the moment the blond raised his head blue met amber yet again.

Fili just smiled seeing the same boy he saw in the restaurant nearly two months ago. Despite it being so long he still easily recognized the long brown hair and sparking eyes.

“I’m not sure what to take, what would you recommend?” The blond asked gently.

“Apple and cherry pies are the best. But if you prefer something sweeter the marzipan muffins are divine.” The boy slowly told him.

“What about coffees?” The blond smiled.

“Sweet or dark?” The boy asked, and Fili could drown in the deep calm vibrant voice.

“Dark.” Fili replied in a sensual tone.

“So maybe African mocha?” Kili proposed with a smile.

“That and both the cherry pie and muffin you told me about earlier.” Fili gave him his credit card and waited for the order.

“You may chose any table, I’ll bring the order in a minute.” Kili told him lightly.

“Thank you.” The blond took his credit card back and sat at the window and began playing with his phone.

“Here you are.” The boy swiftly placed the pastry and delicious smelling coffee in front of him.

“Thank you.” Fili replied calmly.

Over the next few days Fili noticed there were four young men working at the cafe, his brunet working three mornings, and one of the red heads working two mornings a week. The brunet would work all weekend as well. Fili never had time to come in the evenings, but every day the brunet was working he would drop by. If he had time he would sit and drink a coffee, if he didn’t he would take something with him. It was funny that he had a crush on a young boy, and it was funny the longer he came by the coffee shop, the more he was attracted to the boy. He was such a positive spark of energy, clearly hyper active, always with a smile on his face and a polite good morning. Always in a good mood no matter how many customers were in queue or if the weather was good or bad. He knew the boy knew who he was, but he was unobtrusive. Always polite and never talking more than required from serving him. Fili felt tempted to chat to the boy, but somehow it felt strange to approach your crush not knowing if he was gay or not.

One morning his routine was broken by the same red head girl he saw in the restaurant, from the doorway a loud “Kili!” Almost made Fili jump. But his heart jump realising that was probably the name of his brunet. So similar to his own real name, not that many people knew his real name.

“I need twenty of those strawberry little tart thingys!” She exclaimed. “My step mom tried to bake something for her guests and brunt the whole thing. So I’m on a mission!”

“Here you go!” The boy quickly packed what she wanted, and she paid using her card. “I’ll see you in the evening, don’t forget we’re going to the cinema to see that new horror film!” She kissed his cheek lightly. “And thank Bilbo for baking these, he saved my step mom’s ass yet again!”

“Hi! It’s nice to see you again!” She stopped in her tracks seeing the blond singer calmly sitting at the window drinking his coffee. She gazed at Kili, who suddenly was very pale and trying to look the other way. “If you’re free tonight we’re going to see a new horror film, would you like to come with us?” She asked him with a smile. Kili nearly fainted hearing her confident line.

Fili glanced at the girl and then to the boy who was unusually silent and pale behind her. Then he gazed back to her. “I don’t have any plans.” He calmly told her.

“Come by the New Age Cinema at five forty!” She smiled at him. “I’ll see you then!” She rushed out.

Fili glanced at the closing door and back to the very pale shy boy. Somehow he looked even more cute with the slight blush and terrified amber eyes. “Your friend doesn’t like taking no for an answer?” He gently asked.

“She’s exuberant.” The boy calmly replied. Somehow chatting with him was never easy, those deep blue eyes making him forget every clever line and his tongue in his mouth.

“I’ll see you later.” The blond smile finishing his coffee and calmly walking out.

“Bye!” He heard the boy answer with a strange pause. Fili just smiled to himself and calmly walked to his flat just two blocks away.

When the door closed Kili could finally breathe normally, his heart nearly jumping out of his chest as his idol accepted the callous invitation from Tauriel. What just happened was unbelievable.

Fili stood in front of his wardrobe with a huge dilemma. Dressing like he always did when officially going out meant they would have a crowd of fans hoarding him. Dressing like he normally did might mean more privacy, but he had a fear that an ordinary Fili might not be as interesting as the star Fellan. But going out with them, might be interrupted if someone recognises him.

After a longer while he pulled out his normal clothes. The ones he wore when he went out with family or friends. Or to University when he still had time for that.

Kili’s heart jumped seeing Fili arrived a few minutes before time, he was wearing ordinary blue jeans and a plain white t-shirt. His hair was pulled up and under a classic baseball cap. He looked nothing like the star on stage, or on some days when he came into the coffee shop dressed up for official things. The blond immediately spotted him and came over.

“Hi!” Fili smiled at him.

“Hey!” Kili replied slowly. “Tauriel isn’t going to come.” He suddenly said. “Some family trouble.”

“So are we waiting for anyone else?” Fili smiled gently, but the boy just shook his head.

“If you want we can cancel. I’d call you earlier but I didn’t have your number.” The boy gently told him, he looked extremely shy and reserved.

“That’s fine.” Fili slowly told him, slightly disappointed the boy didn’t seem to want to spend time with him after all. “What film were you planning to watch?” He asked hesitantly.

“Resident Evil.” Kili told him. “I’ve got a reservation for it.”

Fili was hesitant, he didn’t particularly like horror films, but he wanted to spend some more time with him, but on the other hand he did not see any enthusiasm in the boy. “I’d like to see it.” He finally decided to say.

“You would?” Those huge amber eyes gazed at him with surprise, and Fili felt his knees go weak.

“I would.” He replied again.

“Let’s go then.” Kili told him hesitantly. “We need to get the tickets.” He walked inside and he felt the blond follow him.

Kili got the tickets and later they waited for the film in silence. As the film began both of them were tensed and stressed. Fili kept glancing at the boy, he was sitting there watching the film with interest. Fili in fact hated horror films, so instead of watching the film, he kept gazing at the handsome boy. Up close he was even more adorable. Being so near he could smell a gentle fragrance from him and he wondered if it was his shampoo or shower gel. It was so funny, being who he was, he could have any woman he wanted, he had fans swarm around him. But he only wanted this boy. He had to face it his crush on this boy was reaching absurd levels. He felt tempted to reach out, to gently take his hand, but he had no idea if this boy even was gay like himself. He felt trapped within the confines of his heart. In reality he had no idea what this boy liked, who he was, he had no idea about anything about him.

“If you don’t like the film we can leave.” Suddenly a whisper startled him as two amber eyes looked directly into his blue ones.

“No, I’m fine.” He whispered back and forced himself to look at screen.

Kili could feel those blue eyes on him all the time, he had no idea why Fellan agreed to this. Why he was sitting next to him watching a film that clearly did not interest him. Why he was sitting next to a stranger from a coffee shop, when he could be with any girl or boy on the planet. Kili had to face it, this guy was the most gorgeous person ever, his more casual look even more alluring. The very idea who he was, the voice he loved listening to in the evenings, it was uplifting. He was attracted to this man, his whole room covered with posters, following every news could easily classify as a groupie. This whole situation was unbelievable.

As the film finally ended, Fili felt a panic hit him. He didn’t want the evening to end, he didn’t want for them to part and go back to the routine of meeting at the coffee shop. To go back to just being strangers.

“I’m hungry.” He grabbed his chance. “You paid for the tickets so it would only be fair if I get us something to eat.” The blond quickly proposed feeling his heart in his throat.

“If you insist.” The boy looked down very shyly.

“What would you like?” Fili gently looked at him. The boy just shrugged his shoulders.

“You chose.” He finally heard a timid reply.

Fili gazed at him unsure of what to do next. The boy was so withdrawn and suddenly he felt the boy didn’t want to be there with him at all. A pain reached his heart and he felt as if cold hands clutched his heart.

“Pizza?” He gently pointed towards a restaurant nearby.

“Fine.” The boy replied.

They ate in silence, Fili shyly gazing at the boy, and feeling unsure of himself.

Kili felt as if the silence between them was suffocating. As if this whole evening felt forced, the guy probably wanted to spend time with beautiful Tauriel, and because of sheer politeness he stayed for the film and proposed the food. It hurt, it hurt like hell. He wanted to be closer to him, but he didn’t want him to feel forced.

“I can walk you home.” The blond gently proposed with a shy smile.

“I live just above the coffee shop, so it’s not far.” The brunet replied calmly.

“It’s the same direction I’m walking.” The blond said and slowly they walked back home.

The road home passed in grim silence. Fili felt torn, he could try something, or he could break what he had. He would hate to drop by the shop and not be greeted with kind smiles. He would hate not to see him again, or see him angry at him.

Kili was glancing at his feet thinking about how he made a fool of himself. He couldn’t even have a normal conversation with him, just because he was love struck it didn’t mean he couldn’t at least try to be nice and friendly.

Suddenly a guy walked from around the corner and bumped into Kili pushing him into the blond. In terror Kili felt two warm arms embrace him safely, and the feeling of strong firm hands on his arms. His whole body suddenly on fire from the innocent touch. His face instantly ablaze and blushing. He looked up to see two warm blue eyes gaze at him.

When those dark eyes glared at him with warmth, feeling those slim firm arms under his hands Fili felt his heart tremble. He felt lost in those deep brown orbs, and he just wanted to lean in and taste those full gorgeous lips.

A flash from a camera stopped them both. Fili glared at the man with the camera and in horror realised his cap was off and his hair was falling lose behind him. He released the boy from his grasp and approached the man with a firm glare.

“Sorry mate it’s just a job!” The man hissed and ran away.

“Just fucking great!” Fili hissed.

“I’m sorry...” Kili whispered with terror.

“It’s not your fault those vultures follow me around. I’m sorry.” The blond gently told him.

“Let’s just go home...” Kili lowered his head and rushed home as if someone was chasing him.

Fili pulled out his phone and called his manager to tell him about the incident before it came out. But the manager hearing he was just holding the boy because he tripped, assured him he would handle it. Fili sadly walked home alone feeling lost and depressed. His one chance to taste those lips just flew by and he fucked up because a stupid paparazzi caught him.

He sat down and began writing, he just had to pour out all the emotions in him otherwise he’d suffocate.

 


	2. Chapter 2

‘Last night must have been great!’ Tauriel’s text woke Kili in the morning.

‘What?’ He typed.

‘Go online!’ She typed back.

He swiftly got out of bed and took his laptop. The first gossip website made him gasp with terror The photo from last night, was everywhere... The websites asking questions about Fellan’s preferences, asking questions about the identity of Fellan’s lover. Kili just stared in shock as if his life just went to hell.

“Kili!” Bilbo’s voice startled him.

“Is everything okay?” Bilbo gasped seeing tears on Kili’s face.

“Nope!” Kili hissed and passed him the laptop.

“Oh my!” Bilbo yelped reading the news.

“What are we going to do?’ Kili cried.

“Absolutely nothing.” Bilbo gently told him. “We go about our lives as if nothing happened.” He told him gently.

“The photo does not suggest or prove anything, apart from the fact that he helped you up.” Bilbo told him. “You like him, don’t you?” Bilbo asked with a gentle smile. Kili’s crush on the celebrity was visible in his room, and the puppy eyes he kept making when the blond would come to the coffee shop were just adorable. Kili around the blond was so shy and timid, clumsy and alert, it was too sweet to bear.

Kili just nodded and hid under the cover again.

“Stay home for a few days, and when it calms down everything will go back to normal.” Bilbo gently assured him.

\------

When Fili dropped by he felt utterly disappointed Kili wasn’t there. One of the red heads gazed at him strangely but did not say anything apart from serving him politely, and as Fili left he felt cautious eyes follow him out.

He tried the next few days, but he was never there. As the week was ending he felt a bit panicky, the band was going into the studio again, and he wouldn’t have time to drop by as often anymore. He wanted to leave a message, he thought of asking the red head about Kili, but he didn’t want to make a fool of himself.

Finally be broke down when he saw the owner one morning.

“I was wondering, what time do you open on normal work days?” He asked hesitantly.

“At 7. Am.” Bilbo told him gently.

“Would it be possible to take out a large order around half past six?” Fili gently asked him. “I have to be at the studio at seven, and if it was possible I’d buy a larger quantity of pastry and ten coffees?”

“You mean like daily?” Bilbo asked.

“I could pay extra. It’s about the quality, I’m simply addicted to your treats.” Fili smiled gently.

“We normally start baking around five, so there is always someone here. Why not.” Bilbo told him gently. “Here’s the shop number, call when you get up, and tell us what you want and it will be ready by the time you stop by at six thirty.”

“I really appreciate it!” Fili smiled with relief and typed the number into his phone.

\-----

Fili’s band just raised their eyebrows when Fili came in on Monday with a bag of treats and several coffees, but what really made them gaze in shock was the pile of songs Fili had written while in his off time.

“Damn good treats!” Dwalin gobbled down several cherry tartlets.

“Prime coffee!” Gimli added sipping on the coffee.

“You’ll be getting them daily.” Fili hissed.

“Fucking fantastic!” Dain noticed with a grin. “I sense love in the air!”

“More like a broken heart considering all these love stricken songs.” Bofur noticed grimly taking a closer look at the songs.

“Are we recording or not?” Gimli noticed with a grin.

“Seems like we have a few hits here.” Bofur put several songs on top of the table. “I’ve got a few decent ones as well.” He pulled out his own songs as well.

\------

“They loved the coffee and treats yesterday, so make even more treats.” Fili called Bilbo in the morning.

“Everything will be ready at six thirty.” Bilbo told him in a light voice.

“Thank you again!” Fili smiled, but his smile died thinking about the brunet. He did not talk with anyone about the incident apart from his manager Balin and uncle Thorin, so he just printed a huge version of the photo taken by the paparazzi and attached it to his fridge. He liked tracing his fingers along the brunet’s face and to imagine that night ended differently.

\-----

Working on the album was going swiftly, he finally saw Kili on the mornings from time to time. The brunet never looked at him, only politely greeting him and passing the order. Fili’s heart jump every time he saw him, and he just wanted to brush his finger along those long ones holding the bag. He wanted to gaze into those deep amber eyes, but the boy was clearly avoiding him.

Fili as the new album was slowly coming to the end, in terror he realised the whole fucking album was about his broken longing heart. Most of the songs selected as potential hits were long sensual ballads, so breathtaking and heartbreaking the manager declared this their best album ever.

“After the concerts with this emotional crap, we’ll be crying on stage just because we’ll have to play it again.” Bofur laughed and tried to joke it up.

Balin told them the plan. “Production should get done by the end of the month, then we need to promote for like two months. I have everything planned out here.” He passed them a sheet of paper. “I would suggest a week off together to rehears some more, and you better start thinking of the tour.”

“Good job lads!” Dwalin as the older band member praised them for a great job.

“We’re going to make a fortune on this album.” Dain hissed with a smile.

“Like we need more money!” Gimli laughed.

“I need a week of rest, let’s raid your uncle’s house in Greece!” Bofur laughed. “We’ll take the old crew!”

“Fine, I’ll call Thorin and arrange it!” Balin smiled.

\----

Fili stopped by the coffee shop in the afternoon and smiled as he saw Bilbo at the counter.

“I’m going away for a week or two, so no more early orders for now.” He told the short man calmly.

“So you finally finished work on the new album?” Bilbo asked about his job for the first time.

“Yes, we’re done.” Fili confirmed. “We going to be on tour starting from May, so I’ll have less time to stop by again. I hate tours, the hotels and random food everywhere.”

“Too bad, we’ll miss you here.” Bilbo told him gently.

\-----

Greece was fun, the band always had a great time together. Bofur’s bothers joined them, Bombur cooking fantastic food and Bifur with his crude sense of humour made a great addition to the band. Add to the mix his uncle Thorin, and the band and it was like a storm on fire. After a week of chilling out, drinking, joking and fooling around the band slowly returned to reality.

Fili felt great in their company, but something was missing. The band kept gazing at him with worry, and finally uncle Thorin approached him.

“So why didn’t you invite him to come here with you?” He asked his nephew gently.

Fili just stared at him with narrow eyes.

“So you’re not exactly together?” Thorin asked.

“No, there is nothing going on.” Fili added bitterly.

“That photo that surfaced wasn’t exactly nothing.” Thorin told him with a gentle smile.

“We had one date that was a disaster.” Fili noticed bitterly.

“Ended with a photo by the paparazzi.” Thorin added and grimaced. “Where did you meet him?”

“He works in a coffee shop near where I live.” Fili replied shortly.

“And you try to see him every day?” Thorin told him gently. “And you probably never tried anything too scared to face rejection?”

“I’m just a joke. Fans swarm me, women do tricks and bribe hotel staff just to get into my bed... and the one person that catches my eye is a boy who doesn’t even care about me...” Fili broke down.

“How can you be sure of that if you didn’t try anything?” Thorin noticed. “Maybe he’s just shy? Maybe your fame is putting him off?”

“Or maybe he doesn’t like men at all...”Fili gasped with terror.

“Wouldn’t it be best to find out and cry only if you make sure he doesn’t like men?” Thorin gently wiped his tears. “Are you related to me or not? Your parents got pregnant with you the second day after they met for Mahal’s sake!” Fili began laughing reminded that. “Those were the good old days, Frerin, me and your parent together on stage!” Thorin gasped. “You should settle down dear nephew!”

“Says the guy who is single!” Fili hissed at him.

“Only because I haven’t met that one person in this universe for me...” Thorin noticed. “And you met yours and you’re too scared to even ask him out!”

“I fucked up!” Fili hissed.

“Nope, you’re going back to London and you’re going to do something about it!” Thorin told him firmly. “And if you’re not going to do something...” Thorin waved his finger at him.

“Just shut up!” Fili hissed and walked out.

\-----

Fili came back to London and back to his routine. Apart from regular rehearsals with the band, preparation for the tour and working on choreography and stage costumes. He would drop by the coffee shop as often as possible. He saw Kili from time to time, but he didn’t have the guts to even come up and try small talk. He would just glance at him and ask for his order and nothing more, his heart aching every time he heard his deep voice.

When the album finally came out, he asked his band members to sign it, and he signed it himself. Just before going on the tour he stopped by the coffee shop one last time hoping he would meet Bilbo there to casually leave the album. But to his shock he had to face Kili himself. It would have been so much easier to drop it with Bilbo.

“Hi!” He said meekly feeling very unsure of himself.

“The usual?” The boy didn’t even glance at him. His voice emotionless.

“No, thank you.” Fili told him before the boy began pouring the coffee. “I’m here with a small token.” He placed the CD on the counter and passed it to the boy. “From the band as a thank you for all the coffee and treats so early in the morning.”

The boy just blinked and gazed at the CD. He slowly reached for it and opened it, and noticed the whole band signed it.

“It’s coming out next week, and I thought you might like it.” He told the boy slowly, trying to judge the reaction, but he had no idea what the boy was thinking.

“We’re going on tour soon, we’re starting from the US, and later we’re going around Australia and Europe.” Fili told him gently, he saw the boy’s hands clench on the CD, but he had no idea what kind of emotion that conveyed. “I won’t be around for a few weeks.” He had no idea why he said that, he doubted the boy was even interested. “I’ll see you when I come back.”

He slowly walked out, when he finally closed the door he realised the boy didn’t even say a word to him. He turned around and saw the boy still sitting on the high stool with the CD in his hands. If he was standing closer we would have noticed the tears flow down the boy’s cheeks.

\-----

Kili held onto the CD as to a life raft. His heart nearly burst when he noticed all the signatures on the new CD which wasn’t even published. He couldn’t believe he got this as a thank you for the coffees and snacks, it was too good to be true. He didn’t realise he was crying until the tears began dripping on the CD. He quickly wiped his face using his sleeve and called Bilbo to take over.

At first Bilbo wanted to ask what happened, but he quickly noticed the CD in Kili’s hands and with a kind smile he sent him upstairs.

Kili rushed in and as soon as he made it to his room he put the CD in his laptop. He plugged in his headphones and as he lay on the bed and the first melancholic tunes reached his ears, the tears really began pouring. He embraced his legs and held them tightly to his hurting chest, the sad lonely melody drilling into his soul and adding to the despair. It was as if the blond was whispering those soft words directly to his ear, only for him, and his heart nearly died thinking those words were not meant for him. Could not be meant for him.

\----

For Fili it was the worst tour ever, even his friends couldn’t make him cheer up, his mood adding to the deep tones and emotions in the new songs. Every time Fili stood on stage singing his lonesome songs, he could feel the tears go down his cheeks, first time Bofur sniggered at him, but after the third concert the band was just exchanging worried glares. Seven concerts in America, five in Australia and New Zealand and then eleven in Europe. The pace crazy as always, no time to relax or have fun, rehearsals every day, writing new songs in between and the road every day. Fili prayed the last concert in London finally came around.

He called Balin over.

“I need to ask a personal favour.” Fili told him gently.

“Name it boy.” Balin told him calmly.

“I was wondering could you arrange two VIP tickets for London?” He asked the manager.

“Would you like them personally or do you want me to send them?” Balin asked gently.

“Send it to...” Fili quickly wrote the address of the Coffee Shop.

“Do you want to add a note?” Balin asked puzzled.

“No, thank you.” Fili told him gently.

Balin gazed at the closed door, and pulled out his phone. “Thorin I think you should go and drink a good coffee.... Yeah there is a new coffee shop... I’ll see you soon old friend.” Balin hung the call with a smirk.

\-----

“Good Morning!” A deep voice reached Bilbo in the middle of laying out fresh tarts. Bilbo looked up to see the most handsome man in his life, and two pale blue eyes gaze at him. His voice lost and heat coming up to his cheeks.

“Good morning!” He composed himself and finally managed to reply. “How can I help you?” He asked with a smile.

“I have a special delivery.” Thorin placed the envelop with the two tickets for the concert on the counter.

“Why thank you!” Bilbo’s face light up. “Please take seat, I’ve just pulled out fresh muffins and I’ll have a coffee ready in a minute.”

Thorin chose a chair next to the window and watched the small cute man quickly prepare a snack and pour a fresh aromatic coffee.

“Thank you!” Thorin told the small man with a smile, as he took the coffee.

“Enjoy!” Bilbo smiled happily, and returned to his post.

“Why don’t you sit down with me?” Thorin proposed. “It’s peaceful.”

“You’re right!” Bilbo noticed and got himself a coffee as well and sat in front of the handsome man feeling a bit unsure.

“So have you opened recently? I don’t remember this place from the time I lived in the area.” The man suddenly said.

“We opened just a year ago.” Bilbo smiled at him.

“Your snacks are delicious!” The man praised the muffin with a kind smile. “You must have years of experience!”

“Not really, just raw love for cooking and baking.” Bilbo smiled. “I used to be a collage teacher.”

“What? What led to the change of career?” Thorin gazed at him surprised.

“Life. Collage was fun, but literature doesn’t give much money, and suddenly I needed to support a family. At first I wanted to open a book shop, but the boys decided books are too boring, and the only way to make this work is if I bake.” Bilbo gently explained.

“I’m Thorin by the way!” The man extended his hand towards the smaller man.

“Bilbo.” Bilbo smiled gently. “I have to get going or the new batch of French croissants will burn!” Bilbo quickly got up as the bell from the oven rang.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, how much for the coffee?” Thorin asked gently.

“On the house.” Bilbo smiled. “You just brought in prime barter merchandise!” He smirked and pointed to the concert tickets.

\-----

“Tauriel we’re going to the concert in London!” Kili announced on the phone.

“I know! I already got the tickets! But that was a surprise I’m going to kill that stupid brother of mine!” Tauriel hissed angrily.

“You what?” Kili asked surprised.

“I got three VIP tickets, for you me and my idiot brother.” She told him quickly.

“I just got two today, from Bilbo, he said they were delivered today to the coffee shop...” Kili whispered.

“He must have sent them!” She giggled. “He’s so badly sending signals to you, and you’re such a chicken!” She scolded him happily.

“So what are we going to do with five VIP tickets?” Kili hissed.

“What do you mean what? We’re taking Ori and Nori with us!” Tauriel laughed happily. “It’s going to be the best concert ever!”


	3. Chapter 3

Bilbo seemed not like himself. The boys observed him talking to himself, blushing and baking more than ever. Soon they all tracked down the handsome dark haired man who kept coming over for coffee and constantly flirted with Bilbo. Nori at first treated the man coldly, but after Bilbo invited him for a big family dinner and officially introduced him to the family, the boys warmed up a bit to him. After the first few dates the boys were slowly getting used to the idea that Bilbo had a ‘boyfriend’.

So when Kili and the younger Luin brothers said they were going to the concert, Bilbo made sure they had three bags of treats for the band.

The security gazed at them suspiciously but Balin the band manager greeting the ten people with VIP tickets just nodded to them it was okay. He gazed at the young group thinking about which of them was the source of all those weeping songs Fili wrote for the new album. From Thorin’s observation it was most probably the dark haired boy from the photo.

“Please come this way!” Balin showed them to a special secure part of the concert hall, slightly above the rest of the audience on a special terrace. It was specially selected, because later the band always spent a few minutes with the VIP guests, usually after the concert.

“Thorin?” Ori gasped seeing the man waiting for them in the VIP lounge.

“Hi boys! I see you brought snacks!” He smiled as he saw the bags. “I’m surprised you got in all of you, usually these tickets have unreasonable prices or aren’t sold at all.” He noticed glancing at the group of young people.

“Why is that?” Tauriel asked curiously.

“Family usually gets them, you’ll see!” Thorin smiled.

“Has the party started?” Bombur gazed in carrying his own bag of snacks, Bifur was right behind him.

“So will you introduce us?” Thorin asked with a smile.

“My friends Tauriel and her brother Legolas.” Kili introduced the siblings. “These are my brothers Ori and Nori.”

“These are the drummer’s brothers, Bombur and Bifur.” Thorin introduced the two men.

“So who are we expecting?” Bombur asked with a smile.

“Oin and Gloin.” Thorin smiled.

“That’s great!” Balin noticed with a smile. “So how did you get so many tickets?” He asked surprised.

“Dad said he got them from a business partner.” Tauriel admitted.

“Your dad being?” Thorin asked kindly.

“Thranduil Mirkwood.” Legolas said.

Thorin’s face turned into a scowl, and he gazed at Balin. “Well Gandalf was really insistent on getting those three tickets.”

“That meddling old bastard...” Thorin hissed.

“Anyway, this is going to be a delicious party!” Balin noticed and called the staff to bring a few plates and take care of all the things brought in by the VIP guests.

“So are all these VIP lounges like this?” Tauriel asked curiously at the snacks and tones of food prepared.

“Not normally.” Thorin gently told her. “London is rather special, it’s usually the last concert so we treat this is a family get together.”

“So we’re ruining the party?” Legolas noticed.

“No, you’re most welcome!” Bombur assured him with a kind smile.

When the concert began everyone in the lounge was focused on the stage. All of them watched with emotions and enthusiasm. For Ori and Nori it was their first real time at a real concert, for Thorin it was always emotional to see Fili on stage. Tauriel, Legolas, Bombur, Bifur and everyone else were simply having fun. But the one person who was truly focused was Kili. He was watching the stage as a hawk, his heart in his throat, his brain turned off. His whole existence reduced to listening to the music, he had no idea a live concert would be so much better than listening to the CD. He didn’t even feel the tears slowly falling down. He was slowly drifting away, as the words of the sad songs were drilling into his mind. He didn’t notice Thorin glance at him clearly amused, or Balin gently motioning him to Thorin.

When the concert ended, and the band left the stage Tauriel wanted to go, but Thorin stopped her.

“Give them a bit of time to take a shower and change, and you’ll get your chance to meet them all.” He smiled at her and pointed towards the snacks.

The band family members told them some stories about the band, when the first band members showed up, Dwalin hugged his brother and sat down with a grunt and began eating. Soon Bofur and Dain arrived both joking around, followed closely by Gimli.

The last was Fili, who would never admit to having problems keeping his emotions intact. He knew he would probably have to face him, and knew he was watching the concert and he felt he pressure more than ever. He walked in unnoticed at first, but Thorin immediately spotted him and pulled him into a hug.

The five friends looked surprised, they already caught Thorin was related to the band somehow, but they never realised he was related to the lead singer.

Thorin pushed Fili to sit on the last free spot next to Kili, and with a smirk told him to eat up because as always on tour he lost a lot of weight.

“Stop playing the mother hen, he’s an adult now!” Dwalin scolded him.

“Parental law!” Gloin mumbled and glared at his son. “Kids will always be brats we need to look after!”

“You’re so not fun Dad!” Gimli complained.

“At moments like these I’m glad I just have these two to deal with!” Bofur laughed.

“You can’t even imagine how jealous I am!” Dain hissed. “Surrounded by relatives and overbearing parents! Thank Mahal Gandalf got the last three tickets for those kids, otherwise this party would be ruined by my Mom!”

“And your Mom is a fucking bitch!” Dwalin added grimly.

“You have no idea...” Dain growled and rested his head on the headrest.

“Can I get a beer, manager big boss please?” Bofur begged the manager with a grin.

“Beer?” Balin hissed.

“Come on we’re officially off tour!” Dain complained.

“Till midnight you’re still on tour.” Balin replied seriously.

The group began chatting wildly and soon someone proposed to show the kids the stage and backstage, so everyone left the lounge apart from Fili who sat stunned next to Kili. Kili gazed at the blond.

“You’re much slimmer now.” He noticed.

“No coffee and snacks.” Fili mumbled. “And crap food for weeks, and running around on stage every day.”

“Once you’re home, we can try to fix that.” Kili noticed gently.

“You think so?” The blond looked up to meet two warm amber eyes gaze at him with so much emotion it nearly made his heart stop.

“I’ll see to it.” Kili told him. “Even if I have to add the double amount of sugar to your coffee and cakes!” He told him wittingly.

“I’d love that.” Fili couldn’t tear his eyes away from his eyes. “My name is Fili, by the way.” He suddenly told him tired of the silence and unsaid questions.

“I thought your name was Fellan.” Kili noticed.

“That’s my stage name. Fili is my real name.” He told him slowly.

“So who is Thorin for you?” Kili asked gently.

“He’s my uncle, he raised me.” Fili gently told him.

“I’m Kili.” He told him suddenly.

“I...” Fili wanted to say he knew, but Tauriel rushed into the lounge and yelled “Kili you have to see this!”

“What?” Kili stopped gazing at the hypnotic blue eyes and back to his friend.

“I can show you the stage if you’d like.” Fili gently proposed.

“I’d like that.” Kili replied shyly.

Tauriel just stood there shocked as if lightning had struck. She gazed at both of them, and she just smiled. Soon the band and guests returned to the table, while Fili and Kili sneaked out to the stage.

“It’s so huge!” Kili gasped standing in the place where Fili usually stood. The staff were trying to tidy up the equipment all around them.

“It takes some time to get used to.” Fili admitted slowly.

“I would never be able to come here if there was an audience...” Kili noticed quietly.

“My first time I had such stage fright I couldn’t remember the words of my songs...” Fili confessed. “Uncle forced to me acting classes to face the problem.”

“Terrifying.” Kili gasped.

“Come on I’ll show you the back stage...” Fili guided him.

\----

“So what are we going to do about them?” Bofur bluntly noticed gazing at Tauriel with a smirk.

“What do you mean?” Nori sniggered.

“I mean, if they continue prancing around like that our next album will be even more depressing that this one.” Gimli hissed. “How long have they been at it?”

“Over a year now...” Tauriel noticed gloomily.

“This tour was the most stressful ever.” Dain added. “We had to force him to eat and he would sulk on stage more than normally...”

“And what good did you guys do?” Tauriel hissed. “I had to stage their only date, and both of them were too shy to even talk!”

“They’re both hopeless!” Bofur hissed.

“I have an idea.” Legolas glared at them with an evil smirk.

“We’re all ears boy!” Gimli laughed crudely.

\-----

“So these are the changing rooms?” Kili glanced inside.

“We don’t spend much time here, first it’s always costumes and make up.” Fili explained as they continued the tour. “Then running around the stage for two or three hours.”

“You must be tired.” Kili noticed sensibly.

“A bit. I’m glad the tour is officially over.” Fili admitted. “It brings in a fortune, but it’s like living on a rollercoaster for weeks on end.”

“I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like.” Kili noticed.

“If not for the band, and this being the natural element of promotion, I would drop concerts altogether. I hate it all.” Fili complained.

Kili gazed at him carefully, Fili did look tired. He thought about the tour, all the people he must have met, all those women in love with him. It hurt a lot.

“Let’s go back, I’d like to get home soon.” Fili admitted as his eyes began shutting and he was feeling dizzy.

“Are you okay?” Kili asked worried.

“I’m just tired.” Fili added slowly.

“Sit down!” Kili immediately forced him to sit on the chair in the changing room. “When was the last time you ate something?” He asked gently.

“Morning?” Fili gasped unsure.

“Morning?” Kili scolded him.

“Or was it yesterday?” Fili suddenly whispered.

“Give me a minute.” Kili told him firmly and he rushed back to the lounge. He took a plate and put on some food and rushed back to the changing room, disregarding the curious glances and grim silence that appeared when he entered.

“Eat.” Kili gave Fili the plate and forced him to try the muffins. “You should eat more regularly, especially if you have a lot of work.”

“Yes mom!” Fili grumbled.

“I wonder how you managed to survive those weeks if you didn’t eat...” Kili growled at him.

Fili just breathed in deeply, and ate a bit more.

“Is everything okay?” Thorin gazed in worried.

“He didn’t eat since yesterday!” Kili complained to Thorin.

“You stupid boy!” Thorin scolded Fili, but Fili just rolled his eyes and took another bite.

“I’d like to go home!” Fili finally murmured. “I need to rest.”

“I’ll drive you home, Kili get the boys, I’ll take you as well since it’s just a block away.” Thorin told Kili.

“I’ll go and tell them we’re leaving.” Kili slowly nodded at Thorin.

Thorin drove them back home and dropped them off before taking Fili to his flat.

\-----

The next morning he called Bilbo with a strange personal request.

“Kili!” Bilbo yelled into the flat.

“Yes Bilbo?” Kili gazed at him worried.

“I have a mission for you.” Bilbo smiled. “We don’t normally deliver things, but this is an exception for a special customer.” Bilbo handed Kili the address.

“But Bilbo...” Kili tried to complain.

“This one time.” Bilbo assured him.

Kili just gasped and glanced at the address. “Fine!” He grumbled.

He glanced at the address and decided to walk, it was really close. He glanced at the tall building, and walked into the posh lobby.

“May I help you sir?” A receptionist asked him politely.

“Special delivery for flat 151.” Kili told her calmly and pointed to the bags.

“That’s floor 15.” The receptionist informed him.

“Thank you!” Kili replied with a light smile and walked to the elevator. He pressed number fifteen unsure of himself. When the elevator stopped he saw a short corridor with only two doors, 151 and 152. He confidently rang the doorbell.

“What?” A growl reached him as the door opened. Kili stared into the two most beautiful blue eyes in the world.

“Hi!” He greeted the blond meekly and pointed to the bag. “Are you feeling better?” He finally asked after a longer moment of silence.

The blond blinked and clearly had problems focusing.

“Sorry I just got up.” He grimaced and opened the door wide. He lazily stretched and walked back to the living room. Kili could just stare at the magnificent sight of the blond in a plain t-shirt and shorts.

Kili blinked surprised but decided to close the door behind himself. He walked into the biggest and most posh decorated living room he’d even seen, with a large kitchen behind a bar.

“Give me five minutes to get dressed!” Fili yelled at him and disappeared in a door.

Kili felt unsure he just placed the bag at the bar and began unpacking the things Bilbo prepared. To his surprise apart from sweet snacks there was also a decent ham and egg sandwich.

Fili came back soon, dressed in jeans and a clean t-shirt, he sat at the bar surprised and glanced at Kili with an unsaid question.

“Bilbo told me to deliver this.” Kili passed him the sandwich and coffee.

Fili just continued to stare at him. “Why don’t you sit down? I rarely have company here.” He admitted.

Kili gazed around the flat curiously, his eyes taking in the tall ceiling and fancy brick wall. Then to the kitchen, and back to his host.

“Sorry for the mess, my cleaning company is coming in tomorrow.” Fili admitted.

“It’s not bad.” Kili told him carefully.

“It’s been empty for the last three months, so it’s not good I can assure you.” Fili grimaced.

“You should eat more.” Kili scolded him and gazed at the half eaten sandwich.

“I don’t have much of an appetite recently.” Fili admitted sadly.

“I don’t give a fuck if you have an appetite or not. Eat up.” Kili growled at him. “Maybe you should visit a doctor?” He suggested.

“I was just overworked and stressed.” Fili admitted slowly. “I just need to rest for a few days.”

Fili wanted to put the plate away, but Kili firmly placed it back in front of him, and stared until Fili ate the last piece of sandwich. He easily concluded it was Thorin who gave this special mission to Bilbo, and since Bilbo asked him, Kili felt responsible.

“Do you have any food here?” Kili asked him suspiciously taking in the facts.

“Not really. I was planning to go shopping.” Fili told him avoiding his eyes.

“Were you really?” Kili gazed at him questioningly. “Do you have a laptop? We could order online without going out.” He noticed.

“We?” Fili gasped surprised.

“I’m on a mission from Bilbo.” Kili told him firmly. “And I’m planning to make sure you take better care of yourself, even if I have to force feed you or drag you to a doctor myself.”

Fili stared at him surprised and bewildered. “Fine.” He finally replied and walked to his bedroom to get the laptop.

“What a mess!” Kili glanced in seeing all the bags still untouched on the floor.

“Three months of travelling.” Fili grimaced.

“Does the cleaning service normally unpack for you?” Kili asked worried, gazing at the very pale blond, but Fili just shook his head.

“Fine give me a second.” Kili pulled out his phone and texted Bilbo he won’t be coming home soon. “Give me the laptop.” He told Fili and pulled him to the living room.

“What are you doing?” Fili sat next to him and glanced at the screen.

“Wake up Sunshine!” Kili scolded him. Fili’s heart nearly did a flip hearing that nearly intimate phrase.“It’s the twenty first century, most shops deliver things home, so you just have to create an account, give the address and pick online what you want.” He passed Fili the laptop with the open website.

“I have no idea what I want...” Fili realised.

“What would you like to eat?” Kili asked him sternly.

“I’m not really sure... Normally I just go around the shop and put random stuff in...” Fili admitted.

“What would you like to eat like right now?” Kili asked again.

“I’m so full I’m not sure I’d like to eat anything.” Fili admitted.

“Fine, give it back!” Kili hissed and grabbed the laptop. “Since you have no idea what you want, and surely if I just leave you now you’ll pretend to go shopping, I’ll do it for you.”

“But...” Fili gasped.

“Don’t you dare protest!” Kili waved his finger in front of the blond. “You’re uncle is dating my dad, so you’re stuck with me if you like it or not.”

The sudden information made Fili open his mouth in shock.

“Thorin hasn’t told you yet?” Kili smiled he got such a vivid reaction from the blond, as he continued to put different types of essential groceries into the online basket.

“Do you need any extra stuff like washing powder or cosmetics or stuff?” Kili asked before placing the order.

“I think I’m out of shampoo.” Fili admitted.

“Fine, anything else?” Kili asked.

“Not that I can think of...” Fili gasped annoyed.

“Good, the delivery is in two hours, just enough time to sort out your luggage.” Kili put away the laptop and urged Fili to go to the cluttered bedroom.

Fili watched in horror as the hyperactive Kili unpacked his things in record speed. He quickly selected things for laundry, put away the things for the wardrobe, and passed Fili the things he had no idea where to put. Within less than an hour the washing machine was working with the first part of the laundry, and Kili was forcing down into Fili another coffee and some sweets.

“You work faster than my cleaning service.” Fili admitted in shock.

“I can’t sit still for long.” Kili admitted.

“School must have been difficult for you.” Fili noticed sadly.

“School? It was horrible, but that was the least of my problems back then.” Kili grimaced, and opened the window the air the apartment a bit.

“What kind of problems?” Fili asked gently.

“Let’s say it this way, ADD was only one of my problems.” Kili told him bitterly, he could feel the curiosity radiate from Fili, but Kili did not elaborate.

“Would you like to talk about it?” Fili asked gently.

“Will you eat?” Kili gazed at him.

Fili gasped with annoyance. “Fine, I’ll eat, but you’ll tell me all about it.”

“Fine.” Kili grimaced.

The doorbell rang and a delivery boy placed a tone of bags on the floor.

“Fifty five ninety.” The boy told them shortly. Fili just passed him his card.

“Thank you!” The boy smiled and rushed back.

“Let’s unpack and start lunch.” Kili murmured and pulled two bags towards the bar.

“Lunch? You’re planning to cook?” Fili asked startled.

“What’s so surprising about that?” Kili hissed.

“I normally eat something frozen or take away.” Fili admitted.

“Like fuck you are going to eat like that!” Kili hissed at him. “No wonder you’re in such bad shape!” He almost began yelling.

“I can’t cook.” Fili confessed feeling extremely embarrassed.

“You’re never too old to learn.” Kili hissed and began unpacking the groceries. “Get a piece of paper and prepare for lesson number one.”

“Where did you learn cooking?” Fili was amazed.

“First thing you learn when living with Bilbo, chopping things, boiling things, frying things, baking things. It’s actually pretty fun.” Kili smiled at him, and Fili nearly dropped seeing cute dimples and a happy spark in his eyes.

“If you say so...” Fili didn’t look so sure.

“Move your super star ass, you’re chopping!” Kili grinned at him.

“So what are we cooking?” Fili asked curiously.

“Basics, spaghetti carbonara.” Kili smiled at him. “Chop the onions.” He passed him the chopping board, knife and onion.

“How the hell am I supposed to do that?” Fili complained after the knife kept slipping and he couldn’t cut it properly.

“Watch and learn.” Kili smirked and stood right next to him, accidentally making their legs and arms brush against each other, causing Fili to nearly faint. “You take it like this, cut it in half, then you place it like this...” He instructed and chopped one half of the onion skilfully. “Continue with the other half.” He gave Fili back the knife, who looked at him hazily still stunned with the closeness they were at.

“What next?” Fili asked in a strained voice.

“Chop the garlic.” Kili gave him the garlic. “When you boil pasta always pour a lot of water and add salt.” He showed him what he was doing.

Fili sighed deeply. “What next?”

“Chop the bacon.” Kili passed it to him.

“What’s fun about this?” Fili hissed.

“The fun part is eating what you cook.” Kili smirked. “Now the sauce.” Kili passed Fili the bowl and put in the ingredients explain how much and what he was putting in, and Fili was impatiently mixing.

It took nearly half an hour to get the dish ready, but Fili refused to admit the tasty smell was actually making him hungry.

To their surprise just when they were finishing the door bell rang.

“Hey, I thought we could go and get lunch!” Thorin surprised Fili, but Fili just opened the door and guided him into the kitchen.

“Hi!” Kili greeted Thorin with a smile, who stopped and just smiled seeing the brunet in Fili’s kitchen. “Lunch is almost ready!” Kili smiled.

“It certainly smells great!” Thorin admitted. “I doubt anyone cooked anything in this kitchen the last fifteen years!” He smiled honestly.

“You don’t cook as well?” Kili asked gently.

“Quite the contrary, I like cooking. But Dwalin who lived here before never cooked, neither did my brother Frerin when he lived here.” Thorin told him. “Fili takes after Frerin, he could burn even a microwave dinner.” Thorin laughed.

“See, I told you it was hopeless to try to teach me.” Fili hissed at Kili.

“I admit I tried...” Thorin told the boy with a smile. “And that was my greatest failure in life.” He added. “If you want him to start cooking you’d better move in here and make sure he doesn’t burn the place down!” Thorin laughed. Fili went pale hearing the callous suggestion, and Kili sat there dumb folded. “By the way, we’re eating dinner with Bilbo.” Thorin told Fili with a smile.

“Why didn’t you tell me you started dating Bilbo?” Fili told Thorin with a slight grimace.

“Well I was waiting for a proper chance.” Thorin smiled.

“So you and Bilbo? Is it serious?” Fili asked.

“Very.” Thorin admitted honestly.

“Is that it?” Fili asked surprised.

“Nothing more to say.” Thorin smiled.

Kili quickly placed three plates in front of them and sat down. “So basically we’re going to be related in a way...” He noticed.

“In a way.” Thorin admitted.

Fili gazed at Kili, and then back to the food, and he gasped.

“What’s wrong?” Thorin asked him gently.

“It’s just...” Fili gasped. “It was just always me and you.”

“Does having a bigger family bother you?” Thorin asked gently.

“More or less.” Fili admitted. “It just feels strange.” They continued to eat in silence.

“I need to get going, I have a business meeting. Come to Bilbo’s at six.” Thorin left them alone and had to go.

“Are you worried we’ll intrude into your life?” Kili asked suddenly.

“A bit.” Fili admitted.

Kili glanced at the blond and back to the food, he continued to eat slowly, but the silence was killing him. He didn’t even look at the blond, he just ate his food, and the moment he finished he took the plate to the kitchen.

“I’m sorry I intruded today, I’ll never do it again.” He told Fili slowly not looking at him, and without a word he walked out. If he took the time to look back he might have seen the tears come up to Fili’s eyes.

He just stared at the closed door, and back to his half eaten food. It was delicious, but he didn’t feel like eating more.

He walked back to his bedroom to his notebook with songs, he opened it where he hide the picture he took with him for the tour. He traced Kili’s face with his fingers, and he had a feeling he fucked up yet again.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Kili rushed back home and ran to his bedroom. As soon as he opened the door he slid to the floor and began crying. It hurt so much to feel unwanted yet again. His life was one huge path of pain and loss. A path of heartbreaking rejection. He hid his face in his knees and began swaying back and forth. From the mists of the past he could hear his mother yelling at him again, about how he was useless, about how she hated him for ruining her life. He remembered how she would hit him with anything, how she would push him around and curse his father for disappearing and leaving them. She would yell at him about how his birth ruined her life. He remembered all those foster families who rejected him, who sent him back. He remembered all those teachers who scolded him at school for his hyperactivity and dyslexia. His life was hell, and the blue eyes he loved so much didn’t share his love. Fili did not want him, he said it openly. Kili felt his whole world collapse. In a fixture of agony and pain he gazed at the blue eyes and around him and began ripping them to shreds.

\------

Thorin had to nearly drag Fili to the dinner at Bilbo’s, and to everyone surprise Kili did not show up at all. Bilbo remarked something that he wasn’t feeling well. But the red heads exchanged meaningful glances at Fili.

“Go and talk to him.” Thorin hissed at Fili, and pushed him towards the brunet’s room.

Fili just glared at the door, and after a longer while he decided to knock. “Fuck off!” He heard a growl from behind the door.

“We need to talk.” Fili told him gently.

Kili opened the door and stood there. Fili’s heart ached seeing the red eyes, and shaking figure.

“Talk.” The boy hissed.

“I didn’t mean it like that...” Fili slowly told him. “I know you wanted to help me...”

Kili just glared at him.

“I just felt bit overwhelmed with the idea of Thorin and Bilbo together... It was just him and me the last eighteen years.” Fili slowly told him. “And here we get Bilbo and five boys in the package. I was hoping... we could be friends.” He told him gently.

Kili opened the door and let him in. Fili gazed around the neat small room curiously, but to his surprise there were no personal things around. There was a window leading towards the street, a closed wardrobe and a small desk. There were few things indicating anything about the person who lived there. Little did he know Kili spent the whole afternoon on ripping his posters and throwing them away with tears and a huge pain in his heart.

“What happened to your parents?” Kili suddenly asked as they sat on his narrow bed.

“They died in a car accident with my uncle Frerin, and Dwalin’s and Balin’s oldest brother Fundin. They were driving to a concert in Paris, and a drunk driver caused a frontal accident.” Fili slowly explained. “I was seven at the time, I was riding in another car with Thorin and the band’s manager Girion.”

“The band?” Kili asked suddenly unsure.

“Erebor.” Fili slowly told him, and watch Kili stare at him with surprise.

“You’re uncle was a member of Erebor? Your parents?” Kili asked.

“Erebor was Thorin, my mother Dis, their brother Frerin, my father Villi and Fundin.” Fili explained. “The band collapsed when four band members died.”

“I read about it.” Kili told him. “I have three of their CDs they were pretty popular.”

“They were.” Fili noticed sadly. “What I just told you is top secret. If the press ever finds out...”

“You’re using a false name, so how can they find out?” Kili told him gently, trying not to think of the implication about the band name meant to his own life. “So which one was the famous Oakenshield?” He couldn’t stop himself from asking that one question.

“All of them? It was almost a second name for the band.” Fili smiled. “All five were using that name claiming to be family and in fact all of them were family in a way. Fundin was their cousin.”

“It must have been very difficult for you and Thorin.” Kili noticed gently.

“You can’t even imagine how difficult. Girion stopped working as a band manager, in fact he became major of London later. Uncle took over the family company from grandfather, and it was just the two of us since then.” Fili explained.

“How did you end up singing?” Kili asked gently.

“Mother and father usually sang as a duet, so it was kind of natural to try singing. I’m good at playing as well.” Fili told him slowly. “We got together in high school, me Gimli and Dain. Later uncle told Dwalin we began rehearsing so he decided to check us out. Bofur joined later when we began searching for a drummer. It all went pretty fast since then, and crazy. Have you ever tried singing or playing?”

“No, I never had the chance.” Kili told him in a shacking voice, trying to push away the image of his yelling mother screaming for him to stop chanting , and to stop annoying her and wasting her time.

“You have a nice deep voice.” Fili gently told him but Kili just shrugged his shoulders. “What about your parents?” He suddenly realised he was talking about himself a lot, but he still didn’t know anything about Kili. “You promised to tell me about it at lunch, but uncle showed up.”

“There is not much to tell.” Kili murmured. “My mother was slut, and when she began drinking I was taken by social care. After several years in foster care or orphanages I was taken in by Bilbo.” Kili gave him the short official version, omitting all the unpleasant facts.

“You were raised in an orphanage?” Fili looked at him with sadness in his eyes.

“Many people are.” Kili told him. “Dori, Nori and Ori spent nearly a year there before Bilbo managed to convince the court he could take care of them.”

“I admire people who have so much strength to raise so many children.” Fili noticed.

“Bilbo knew their mother from collage, she was also a PhD student there. So when she died of cancer he did everything to take over custody, but their legal situation was complicated to say the least.” Kili told him slowly.

“What do you mean?” Fili gazed at him.

“Their father wanted to take custody.” Kili told him.

“Why was that bad?” Fili noticed.

“His rights were suspended earlier when he went to prison for violence and abusing the family.” Kili told him in a low voice. “But when he came out of jail he made a huge fight in court, he even threatened the social worker and Bilbo.”

“What happened to him?” Fili asked slowly.

“He went to prison for beating up the social worker who testified against him.” Kili told him sadly.

“Life can be pretty fucked up.” Fili noticed.

“You have no idea.” Kili told him gently.

Fili gazed at the brunet sitting next to him, and wondered how easy it would be to just wrap his arm around the brunet and pull him closer for a kiss, but he was too scared. He fucked up once already, and kissing someone who might not even be gay, might fuck up their relations even more.

“Sorry for making you feel unwanted.” Fili told him gently, thinking about how hard Kili’s life must have been so far.

“It’s fine. I overstepped.” Kili told him not looking at him.

“You acted like a friend.” Fili told him gently. “I’d like you to do that more often. I don’t have many real friends.”

Kili gazed at him in wonder and shock. “Why do you say so? You’ve got so many cool people around you, your band, your fans...”

“My band is nice, we are close and all, but it’s not like we hang out a lot apart from tours and working on the album, more would be too much to stomach. My fans? Most are sex crazed obsessed groupies! They make my life miserable! I can’t go shopping or to the cinema without someone bothering me! On tour my manager has to check my hotel rooms before I enter because I’ve had people sneak in and mess with my things or try to seduce me. Fame is crap!” Fili gasped annoyed.

Kili felt suddenly very guilty for being a groupie and fan. For nearly cyber stalking him, for all those posters he used to have all around, and for praying Fili would notice him.

“I’d be really cool to have a normal friend, someone for who wouldn’t care about my money or the fame. Someone normal, who wouldn’t try to sell my clothes on ebay for a profit, or sneak into my bed, or try to become famous by claiming to be pregnant with me.” Fili told him.

”I’m a boy if you haven’t noticed, I can’t get pregnant.” Kili hissed. “And I’m not going to sneak into your bed.”

“That’s why I’d like for us to be friends.” Fili told him.

“Fine, but being friends means I’m going to make sure you eat three solid healthy meals a day.” Kili threatened him.

“I’d really like that.” Fili told him with a gentle smile. “So tomorrow morning?” He asked with a smile.

“I’ll be there at nine.” Kili told him shyly.

\-----

Kili browsed the internet searching for more information about the Erebor band. He had the documents Bilbo gave him after he became an adult. His original birth certificate had only his mother’s name on it. But there was a note she tried to prove the paternity of Villi Oakenshield. He easily found the press articles about the paternity case in court, but nothing was ever proven. In modern times it would just take a simple DNA test to solve the mystery. The trial ended when Villi Oakenshield died in the car accident, and his mother was left with nothing. Kili knew that his mother was an obsessed fan of Erebor, he listened to all their songs as a child. He could remember her mumbling how Villi used her, drugged her and fucked her, and later how Kili ruined her life by coming to life. He was carrying Oakenshield as a last name only because his mother had officially changed her name to it, as a way to state who his father was, but in reality she could have just written his name in the birth certificate... Then she just had to drink herself to death and leave all the questions unanswered.

No wonder he was so fucked up, he gazed at the scars on his arms. Some caused by his mother, while the long cuts on his forearm were his own. The one reason he always wore something with long sleeve, Tauriel used to tease him about it but seeing his forearm once made her shut up about it forever. Each cut for a foster family which rejected him, each time someone rejected him he would cut. Seven clean deep long cuts. Seven foster families who betrayed him. He could easily add the two matching ones on his wrists symbolising the day he tried to end all the pain in him. Those two cut his life in half, the part before being the worse, the part after being the best. Hearing about the boy who tried to commit suicide because his foster family rejected him, Bilbo volunteered to spend Christmas with him in hospital, and when Kili was well enough he took him home to take care of him. Bilbo was his salvation. And lusting for someone who was probably his own brother was his doom. Fili so beautiful and so precious. If he ever found out who Kili was he would probably hate him.

\------

“Gloin do you have some time?” Thorin called his lawyer and family member.

“I’ll be in your office in an hour.” Gloin told him grimly sensing his friend wanted to talk about something unusual, all his phone calls in that tone meant trouble.

“So what do you need?” Gloin asked him gently.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently.” Thorin told him slowly. “And there is one issue of the past that keep coming back to my mind.”

“Sometimes the past should stay in the past. If you start brining skeletons out of the closet they might bite you...” Gloin hissed at him feeling a bad premonition. “What kind of issue?”

Thorin silently passed him old newspaper snips.

“Oh this issue.” Gloin murmured. “Do you have any idea how hard it was to hide this? How much effort it took to make her shut up? What my father had to do to make this go away?” He told Thorin accusingly.

“It’s not about digging it out officially. I just want to be sure.” Thorin told him slowly.

“Sure of what?” Gloin gazed at him.

“That was nearly twenty years ago, DNA testing was unknown and there was no option to verify the story. It was her word against his. And we assumed he would never cheat on my sister, so we stood behind him with all the money and influence we had.” Thorin told him.

“So why in Mahal’s name does this bother you?” Gloin asked irritated.

“Her story sounds nothing like Villi... but it sounds awfully much like Frerin.” Thorin noticed grimly. “We all knew he was on drugs most of the time, and he liked doing crazy things just to feel adrenaline.”

“Both of them were blond and carried the same last name, and Frerin was crazy, daring and unstable. He was stupid enough to drug her and fuck her, and she might have been unconscious enough not to register which blond member or the Erebor it really was.” Thorin told him slowly. “I want to make sure.”

“Why now? Why did this up after so many years?” Gloin grumbled.

“Bilbo and his family.” Thorin told him as an explanation. “Bilbo adopted and raised four children, and I began wondering about that child. Is he happy? Did he have a good childhood? What if it he was miserable? I just want to know.”

“So you want to potentially test this boy against Fili?” Gloin summed up.

“It will cover both parts of the family, and the test should tell from which side, if any, he’s related to.” Thorin told him slowly.

“If so, then what?” Gloin told him gently.

“I’m not sure yet...” Thorin admitted.

“Just remember I’m against this!” Gloin hissed and walked out.

\-----

Kili called on the doorbell and waited to Fili to open.

“Breakfast!” He told him light and walked in to the kitchen as soon as the blond opened the door.

“You’re going to make me addicted...” Fili hissed. “And when you get bored of mothering me I’ll starve to death...” He hissed.

“I’m still planning to teach you to manage on your own.” Kili noticed lightly. “I don’t have much time today, I have classes later in the afternoon.”

“So that’s why you usually worked in the mornings?” Fili asked gently a bit disappointed their time was limited.

“Yup.” Kili replied and put the sandwiches and snacks on a plate. “Eat up!” He pushed the plate at the blond.

“So what do you study?” Fili asked him curiously.

“IT.” The brunet did not elaborate. “Programming mainly.”

“That’s like light-years away from your job!” Fili smirked.

“Indeed it is.” Kili did not explain anything, he just stared as Fili ate.

“Aren’t you going to eat with me?” Fili smiled at him. “It’s a lot of food.”

“I’ve already eaten.” Kili admitted. “And you’re eating it all!”

“Tomorrow you’re eating with me.” Fili scolded him. “Eating alone while you stare is unnerving.”

“If I stare you’ll eat everything.” Kili noticed.

“I’m already full...” Fili complained as he was trying to finish his first sandwich.

“Maybe we should send you to therapy saying you have an eating disorder?” Kili noticed.

“I’m not going to any fucking therapy!” The reaction he got from Fili nearly made him hide and run away.

Fili took a deep breath and slowly calmed down. “Sorry... I just don’t have good experiences with therapy as such...”

“Neither do I, but some say it works.” Kili admitted.

“You went to therapy?” Fili lifted his eyes to meet the two amber ones.

“I had to.” Kili hissed. “It was one of the conditions of the foster programme.”

“Did it help you?” Fili asked gently.

“It didn’t do shit!” Kili hissed. “So I understand your aversion very well.”

“Uncle sent me to therapy when I was a child, because of what happened to my parents I kept having nightmares. And later when I was a teenager...” He stopped speaking and gazed away from Kili.

“What happened then?” Kili asked gently.

“I had lots of problems as a teenager.” Fili said the trivial argument. “Eating problems, love problems, low self esteem and all that kind of teenage crap...”

“Low self esteem?” Kili gasped surprised. “You’re like the best singer in the world...” He noticed.

“Now I am. But then I was the child of two famous parents, to whose fame I had to match up, and I felt like crap.” Fili explained slowly. “What about you?” He asked gently.

“Well, lots of shit really.” Kili told him slowly. “I am hyperactive, I’ve got ADD, I’m also dyslectic, add to that being raised in an orphanage and being in the foster system for many years.”

“It must have been horrible.” Fili noticed gently.

“You have no idea...” Kili looked down not to face him. “I have to get going.” He told Fili. “One pm, come to the university library, I’ll be waiting there for you.”

“What?” Fili asked surprised.

“We’re eating all meals together.” Kili told him firmly. “And since I’m eating out, we might as well both eat out.”

“Fine...” Fili growled. “I’ll be there.”

“Give me your phone...” Kili told him with a smile. He quickly dialled his own number and saved it on Fili’s phone. “If you don’t show up, I’ll call Thorin.” Kili threatened Fili.

“I said I’ll be there...” Fili noticed grimly.

“Don’t be late Sunshine!” Kili smiled happily and walked out.

Fili gazed at the closing door, and he couldn’t help but smile widely hearing the pet name Kili gave him. It was so warm and soft, it made his heart run fast, and soul melt. He just wanted to kiss those gorgeous lips and wipe that nick name off Kili’s face.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Kili sat impatiently all lesson, he couldn't focus on his new project at all, somehow the idea of creating a programme for calculating algorithms seemed the most boring idea in the world. Or maybe it was the impatient fire burning in his guts, reminding him he would see Fili soon. He wanted his class to finally be over, he just wanted to see him. Somehow being so close to him meant he felt safe, they finally managed to talk. Like normal people, like they really could be friends. It hurt, it hurt like hell, but the idea he could be near Fili, talk with him, be in his life maybe for years to come, was like a dream come true. It would be enough, it would have to be enough to sooth his aching longing heart.

As soon as the teacher let them go, Kili rushed out and almost ran to nearby library, he immediately saw Fili sitting on a bench nearby. He was wearing a hoodie, and jeans, but the blond tresses from under the hood easily made him recognisable. "

“So what would you like to eat?" He clearly startled Fili who looked at him as if he was lost in though.

"Anything would be fine, I'm..." Fili told him.

"... not hungry..." Kili hissed at him. "We're going for Lebanese."

"What?" Fili nearly cringed his nose thinking of the strange sounding food.

Kili grabbed his hand and pulled him along to the nearby bar. Fili nearly jumped feeling the electricity hit him, as Kili so callously took his hand. The warmth of the simple gesture, the feel of his fingers on his palm, made him tingle with excitement. Somehow it made him shiver, he held his hand even more firmly, not wanting to ever let go.

Kili gazed at him with surprise feeling the warm fingers hold onto his hands more firmly, as if Fili did not plan to let go anytime soon. What was meant just to be an easy way to get him up and force him to come along, soon turned into a gentle caresses of two hands, as they held onto each other all the way to the Arabic bar.

"So have you ever eaten Lebanese?" Kili asked him with a smile.

"Nope... if you haven't noticed, I'm not much into food." Fili admitted.

"Being not much into food doesn't mean you don't like eating." Kili noticed.

"It does." Fili admitted quickly.

"Well since you're stuck with me, you'll have to try lots of strange things from now on... until you decided to run away from me." Kili told him with a smirk and waited for the waitress to come over.

"I'm not sure I like the idea... so I might decide to run." Fili admitted.

"Don't worry, I'm pretty fast when it comes to running, I won’t let you go too far..." Kili winked at him and glanced at the menu. Fili just couldn’t shake the feeling that Kili was actually flirting with him, but that would be too good to be true, would it?

"Can I take your order?" The waitress spoke in a heavy accent. Kili quickly told her what he wanted, and the girl just nodded and wrote something down.

“What the hell did you just order?" Fili hissed not knowing any of the words Kili just said.

"You'll find out soon enough." Kili smiled.

Soon the waitress came over with two clean plates and after a few minutes placed the first starter on the table. Kili firmly placed a portion on Fili's plate and watched the blond look at the food suspiciously.

"Either you're eating or I'm feeding you." Kili threatened in a low voice. Fili took the fork and began playing with the strange looking pie. Kili gazed at him sternly and took his own in his hand and waved it in front of Fili's face.

"Eat or be eaten." He joked and pointed to the pie.

"What's the worst thing that could happen?" Kili hissed at him.

"I could die?" Fili noticed meekly.

"Your last chance to do this nicely." Kili spoke in a low deep tone.

"Fine!" Fili hissed and hesitantly took a tiny bite. He chewed for a moment not focusing on the taste and quickly swallowed.

"Did you even feel the taste?" Kili hissed and shoved it at Fili again and patiently waited for the blond to bite again.

"You're annoyingly stubborn." Fili gasped irritated.

"So are you, eat!" Kili hissed and waited as Fili took his second bite.

"So?" He asked.

"Edible." Fili admitted.

"So eat the whole thing." Kili scolded him.

"It's like whole lunch for me..." Fili gasped gazing at the piece of pie, and then he gazed at Kili who without a doubt or a second of hesitation put the already half eat pie into his mouth. Fili felt his whole body burn, like a wave of flames passing through him. The sight of Kili biting down on the piece he just had in his mouth made his own mouth dry. He just wished he could bring those lips to his and taste what Kili's mouth tasted like.

Kili noticed the gaze, but he just smiled and finished the pie in a few quick bites. He would never admit to himself that the crazy stunt he just did made his blood boil and give him a weird sense of connection to his beloved blond.

Fili slowly ate his pie, and glanced at Kili warily. Soon the waiter brought in two lunch dishes and placed them in front of them.

“What the fuck is this?” Fili hissed looking at the food.

“You just got Kuftah.” Kili calmly explained.

“Like that means anything...” Fili hissed.

“It’s basically meat with spices, grilled.” Kili explained.

“And this?” Fili pointed to the strange sauce.

“A tomato and vegetable sauce.” Kili told him calmly.

“What’s that?” Fili gazed at Kili’s plate.

“Shwarmach.” Kili told him bluntly. “Chicken fried in a special thingy, with vegetables and garlic sauce.”

Fili cringed his nose at the strange looking food. But Kili just smiled put a piece of chicken on his fork and some vegetables and in a playful manner waved it in front of Fili.

“Eat on your own or be eaten.” Kili threatened again.

“You little force feeding piece of shit.” Fili growled.

“You’re making a scene!” Kili playfully chanted and pointed to the fork.

“Fine, you win!” Fili gasped and in a quick move ate the contents of the fork.

“And?” Kili waited for the answer.

“Good.” Fili admitted grunting.

Kili pulled Fili’s plate in front of him and took a piece of meat again.

“Fine...” Fili growled and without hesitation tried the second dish.

“It’s more spicy...” He gasped.

“So which one do you like best?” Kili asked waiting for the blond to decide.

“I have no idea.” Fili admitted.

“So that means we switch in half.” Kili smiled to him and began eating not even thinking of changing forks. He knew he was playing with fire, but he loved the feeling.

“Can we switch now?” Fili asked impatiently after eating for a short while.

“Does that look like half?” Kili pointed towards Fili’s plate.

“You’re making everything into a game...” Fili hissed.

"Are you always this focused on food?" Fili asked him gently as he tried to avoid eating.

"You have your eating problems, I have mine. You're never hungry, I'm always hungry." Kili admitted shyly.

Fili gazed at him surprised. " I stopped when my mom... no other cooking tasted right." Fili confessed.

"Mine started because of my mom." Kili noticed grimly but didn’t continue explaining. He gazed at Fili's plate. "We can change now." He passed him the plate and grabbed the other one.

Fili just glanced at the half eaten food and suddenly he felt very hungry, the idea he was sharing   food with the only person he loved in the whole world meant being even closer to him. It was easy to forget when Thorin told him to eat, it was easy to hide not eating from the band. But he would never be able to hide or cheat Kili. And the idea he was finishing what Kili began eating suddenly seemed terribly alluring.

"I should go back to classes soon." Kili told him sadly as they were finishing. Fili looked at him and couldn't stop from feeling disappointed.  

"We still have to eat dinner." Fili reminded him.

"Would you like that?" Kili wanted to make sure his company did not bother Fili.

"If you're around I won't have to cheat with my eating diary." Fili admitted, hiding the fact that he simply wanted to spend more time with him.

"Eating diary?" Kili asked with a smile as they were leaving. He quickly paid and dragged Fili out.

"Only thing that worked, so Thorin told me to start again." He told him.

"What kind of phone do have?" Kili asked him suddenly.

Fili showed him his new phone.

"I'll drop by after five!" Kili smiled at him suddenly very happy and rushed to his lecturing hall. Fili just stood there and he had no idea what made Kili so happy.

"So do you have plans for the weekend?" Dain called him sometime later.

"Nothing special..." Fili replied but immediately he had like ten ideas what he could do if Kili was around.

"There's a great party on Saturday, so I'll pick you up at six." Dain told him.

"You know I'm not a huge fan of parties..." Fili complained.

"No excuses the whole band is coming..." Dain told him firmly.

"Whatever...” he finally replied and hung up.

The afternoon was so boring Fili even began thinking if perhaps he should take up another language just to spend the time. He ended on listening to some German dialogs and songs. When five finally came and Kili did not show Fili was utterly depressed. He gazed at the clock counting every minute desperately. When the doorbell rang he nearly ran to the door. Kili smiled at him happily, clearly he was out of breath.

“You're late!” Fili scolded him.

“Sorry...” Kili gasped. “I missed my bus.” He confessed.

“You don't go there by car?” Fili asked him gently.

“I don't have a car.” Kili told him in a stern voice. “Anyway I'm hungry!” He rushed to the kitchen poured himself some juice and began pulling out what seemed to Fili as random things from the fridge.

“So what are you cooking?” Fili asked him curiously.

“You're the one cooking dinner, I need to finish my project.” Kili pulled out his laptop from his bag and set it up on the bar.

“What? I can't...” Fili hissed.

“People learn faster by doing.” Kili scolded him with a smile. “I'll tell you want to do, and in the meantime I'll finish this. Do you have Wi-Fi here?” He asked with a joyful smile.

Fili gave him the password with a low grunt and gazed at the random products on the counter feeling hopelessly lost.

“Put on pot on with water and add two spoons of salt.”

“Big ones or little ones?” Fili asked feeling really dumb.

“Small ones.” Kili quickly answered.

“Start chopping the red pepper, onion, tomato and garlic and but it all in a bowl.”

“Like a salad?” Fili asked surprised

“Nope.” Kili bluntly told him and kept typing. “Is the water boiling?”

“I think so...” Fili hissed gazing at the pot.

“Put in the pasta, but take it out of the packet first.” Kili instructed him with a smirk.

“I’m not that stupid...” Fili grimaced.

“Check the time, pasta takes ten minutes.” Kili told him.

“What now?” Fili gazed around.

“Take the can of tuna.” Kili told him. “And the oil.”

“And what?” Fili hissed.

“Wait for the pasta to finish.” Kili scolded him.

“I think it’s done.” Fili noticed bored with the pace of cooking.

“3 minutes is nowhere near enough for it to cook. I’m not eating raw pasta.” Kili scolded him.

“I’m bored, what are you doing?” Fili gazed at Kili’s laptop, but saw huge rows of codes and unintelligible letters and symbols.

“You’ll see.” Kili told him. “Once I finish.” Kili told him.

“Is it ten minutes?” Fili asked impatiently.

“I told you to check the time.” Kili scolded him again.

“I’m hopeless...” Fili hissed and hid his face in his hands depressed.

“It’s time.” Kili told him.

“What do I do now?” Fili asked in panic.

“Pour the pasta onto a strainer.” Kili told him.

“Onto a what?” Fili asked completely lost. Kili just grunted and walked up to him and browsed the cupboards.

“This is a strainer Sunshine.” He told the blond handing him the utensil. “Put it in the sink and pour the pasta onto it.”

Fili just grunted and did as instructed. “Careful, don’t burn yourself Sunshine...” Kili told him gently.

“What now?” Fili hissed.

Kili put away his laptop and came closer to Fili. “Put the pot back onto the gas.” He gently opened the tuna can and poured the oil into the pot. “Now a bit more oil. You’ll need a good wooden spoon for mixing. Give it a minute.” Kili told him handing him the spoon. He brought the bowl with vegetables closer inspecting it. “Put the vegetables in.” He gave Fili the bowl, gently brushing their fingers together.

“Now what?” Fili gazed into the pot.

“Keep mixing for like five minutes.” Kili told him and went back to the laptop. He watched in the corner of his eyes as Fili constantly mixed the food without realising he needed to do it just from time to time.

“Good.” Kili praised him gently. “Now add the tuna.” He told him. “Mix it for a minute.”

He got up again and walked to him. “Now we add the pasta.” Kili slid the pasta in the pot. “And keep mixing.”

Kili reached for the cupboard and pulled out two plates and some forks. He came up to the pot. “Now the most important part, watch and learn.” Kili told him in a gentle tone. “About this much salt, black ground pepper, a bit of this, and that. I love this fresh, but dried will do.” He added spices into the pot.

“And now?” Fili sniffed the pot.

“Now we try if you cooked something edible or we’re ordering take away Sunshine.” Kili told him in a low sensual tone and began putting some of the pasta onto the plates. “A bit of cheese... Always adds flavour.” He gave Fili the plate after putting some grated cheese on top.

“Do you honestly think this is edible?” Fili asked with concern.

“Smells like it should be.” Kili quickly informed him. “Where are we eating?”

“On the terrace?” Fili suggested.

“You have a terrace?” Kili smiled. “Lead the way...”

They sat and tried the food, which turned out quite good. It was tasty and Kili could easily eat it whole. He gazed at the amazing panorama of the city from up high.

“You don’t like it?” Kili suddenly asked him, seeing Fili’s plate almost untouched.

“It’s okay...” Fili noticed. “But...”

“...I’m not hungry.” Kili hissed. “Fine, you want to be stubborn? We’re alone here...” Kili told him with an evil spark in his deep amber eyes.

“What are you doing...?” Fili gazed at him suspiciously.

“If you don’t want to eat... I will feed you...” Kili told him with a glare. “And I don’t have to worry about making a public scene here...” He pushed his chair much closer to Fili, and took his own plate into his hand.

“You know we had the same problem with Frodo the first few weeks.” Kili gently began talking and putting portions of food onto his fork and shoving it at Fili. Who obediently ate, thinking only about the fact that Kili was feeding him using the same fork he had already used, and the fact making him more aroused then he would like to admit.

“What happened to his mother?” Fili asked gently.

“Frodo’s mother was a known actress, Primula Paladin.” Kili explained.

“The one who died in that plane accident?” Fili immediately remembered the story.

“Yup, she crashed into the ocean.” Kili told him. “Frodo was a mess for a long time, and just like you he didn’t want to eat. So I would take him in my lap, and feed him.”

“I’m not sitting in your lap.” Fili hissed in between bites.

“You’re slim enough.” Kili noticed with a spark in his eyes, and took a bit of the food himself and passed the next bite to Fili. Fili followed his moves greedily, gazing at Kili’s lips.

Fili was almost disappointed when Kili told him “All done, that wasn’t hard was it Sunshine?” with a huge happy smile.

 


	6. Chapter 6

“Would you like to see what I’ve been working on?” Kili asked him with a smirk.

“I’d love to.” Fili admitted curious about what the brunet was doing.

“Come on...” Kili gabbed the plates and returned to the kitchen. He took the laptop and put it on the table in the living room. “I need your phone and your laptop.” Kili told him with a smile.

When Fili placed the equipment on the table, Kili turned the second laptop on.

“Why do you have a great piece of equipment but the system is crap?” Kili complained checking the laptop.

“Who cares... I don’t use it all that much.” Fili admitted.

“We’ll deal with that later.” Kili hissed. “Now let’s see if it works.”

“What works?” Fili asked.

“My leach.” Kili smiled and loaded the program onto both the phone and laptop and synchronised using Wi-Fi with his own laptop.

“I feel like in physics class.” Fili hissed. “Chinese would be easier.”

“Nah!” Kili smiled. “Viola!”

“So what’s this?” Fili asked seeing the strange application.

“Basically I just installed a computer virus onto both your phone and laptop meaning I can hack them both.” Kili explained.

“What?” Fili gasped.

“This new application is your new food diary.” Kili told him. “A very demanding interactive food diary.”

“What do you mean by demanding?” Fili hissed.

“You see this?” Kili showed him the application. “You have to take photos of all the food you eat. And the program will know if you really take a photo or just try to use an old one.” Kili told him with a smirk. “Now if you don’t do that, the phone will become very annoying, ringing every ten minutes, and then within shorter intervals.”

“Just fucking great...” Fili hissed.

“Now if you fail to add a photo, or I won’t mark the meal as eaten, the phone will send a message to me and Thorin about the meal you skipped.” Kili told him brutally.

“I can always turn off the phone.” Fili noticed wittily.

“If you do that, before it turns off it will also send out messages to both of us.” Kili smirked at him.

“So basically no privacy...” Fili sniggered.

“Nope, only food control.” Kili told him feeling unsure for a moment. “I will make sure you are healthy. Even if you don’t like it.”

“Why are you doing all this?” Fili asked gazing at the phone and application.

“I want to be your friend, and that’s what friends do, they take care of each other.” Kili told him.

“You’re amazing...” Fili couldn’t stop those warm words.

“Nah, I’m actually pretty fucked up.” Kili told him slowly.

“No one ever did so much...” Fili told him carefully.

“Don’t say bullshit. Thorin did a lot to help you manage with everything.” Kili smiled.

“Thorin is the closest person in the world for me.” Fili admitted slowly.

“That’s why you felt threatened when he started going out with Bilbo.” Kili noticed.

“It’s just something new...” Fili admitted.

“Why don’t you live with Thorin anymore?” Kili suddenly asked gazing around the flat.

“He said it was time I tried to live on my own, to learn to live and that kind of shit... but it’s very lonely here.” Fili told him sadly.

“You can always come over to us, it’s never lonely there.” Kili assured him. “And there is always good food, a merry company and we can even find an empty bed if you wish to stay longer.”

“Would you stay longer with me tonight?” Fili asked him gently.

“What would you like to do?” Kili asked him with a smile.

“I’d like to watch a film.” Fili admitted. “Something fun.”

“On your laptop?” Kili asked.

“Nope on my TV.” Fili extended his hand towards Kili impatient to feel his hand in his again.

“But you don’t have a TV...” Kili hissed looking around the living room, he slowly took Fili’s hand and got up.

“I do...” Fili smiled and pulled him towards one of the rooms.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me...” Kili gasped seeing the huge cinema room.

“But I’m choosing the film tonight.” Fili told him with a smile.

“Why would you go to the cinema with me back then, if you have a room like this.” Kili’s eyes were narrow and menacing.

“I didn’t want to be lonely.” Fili told him. “And you were nice so I wanted to get to know you better.”

Kili blushed hearing those warm words. “Sorry If I overreacted.” He still held onto Fili’s hand tightly.

“Come on...” Fili gently pushed him towards one of the sofas and pulled out the remote control. “So do you like Tarantino?”

“He’s okay...” Kili quickly agreed trying to ease a bit and sit more comfortably. He pulled his legs up and wrapped his arms around his legs.

Fili just put his arm behind Kili’s back. Both of them were watching the film, and Fili did not notice when Kili rested his back against the sofa. Suddenly he felt soft silky tresses under his fingers. He glanced at Kili who was practically leaning against his arm. As the film was progressing suddenly it just felt natural to move his arm around Kili and gently embrace him pretending it was casual. Kili gazed at him surprised, but the warmth from the arm made him happy and feel safe.

“Would you mind if I get some snacks and drinks?” Kili suddenly proposed. Fili felt a bit disappointed when Kili got up and walked to the kitchen. Kili quickly returned and placed a plate with some small sandwiches and he rushed to get two glasses and some juice.

“Can we continue?” Fili asked feeling unsure of what to expect and what Kili was doing. Kili nodded and pulled the plate into his lap, he casually snuggled into Fili and pushed a small snack into his mouth.

“Are you planning to feed me like this forever?” Fili hissed surprised.

“If I’m hungry that means you should eat as well.” Kili noticed with a smile. “And since you won’t eat on your own, I’m feeding you.”

“Just don’t do that too much in public...” Fili suddenly spoke seriously.

“Nope.” Kili agreed. “As long as you eat when I tell you to.” Kili smiled and stretched his longs legs on the sofa and leaned even more into Fili.

“Won’t your family mind that you’re spending so much time with me?” Fili suddenly asked.

“It’s not like I’m a child and I need to report my every move. They know where I am.” Kili told him focused on the film.

“I really appreciate what you’re doing for me...” Fili gently whispered to him.

“Anytime Sunshine...” Kili gazed at him with a smile. Fili nearly felt lost in those deep depths, he was so tempted to lean in and just press their lips together, but he had no idea what Kili wanted. He was utterly terrified he would break the connection they had with such a strange move. He would die if Kili would reject him, and separate them again by silence.

“I hate living alone.” Fili suddenly told him looking down and fighting the temptation to kiss him or bring him even closer.

“Then stop living alone.” Kili told him gazing back at the movie.

“Uncle nearly kicked me out, so he won’t take me back...” Fili noticed sternly.

“He would. Maybe that’s why you stopped eating, to get his attention and move back in?” Kili noticed sternly.

“Well not really. It’s not like I planned this... it just happens.” Fili told him.

“How bad did you get the last time?” Kili suddenly asked him.

“You don’t really want to know...” Fili told him slowly.

“I can take a lot.” Kili told him. “Don’t play me.”

“Around one hundred pounds...” Fili admitted. “Uncle sent me to hospital that time.”

Kili gazed at him and made a scowling face. “I’m slim, and I’ve never dropped under one hundred forty... Even Ori weights over one hundred twenty...”

Fili looked down clearly embarrassed.

“How much are you now?” Kili asked him with instance.

“No idea... I didn’t feel like checking.” Fili admitted grimly.

“Just because you ignore the problem doesn’t mean it disappears...” Kili noticed in a serious tone. “Let’s find out.” He extended his hand and forced Fili to get up.

“Lead the way.” Kili told him.

“Where to?” Fili pretended he did not know what he meant.

“Don’t play me.” Kili hissed and pulled Fili towards whet he assumed was the bathroom joint to his bedroom.

“What?” Fili asked again.

“Scale.” Kili noticed sternly.

“You’re more stubborn than Thorin!” Fili noticed and pulled it out of the closet. He gazed at Kili irritated, and slowly got onto the scale.

“One hundred twenty three.” Kili read the measurement and tapped something into his phone. “I’ll update your application tomorrow, and you’ll have to add your weight once a week.”

“You’re going crazy...” Fili hissed.

“Nope I’m planning to make a fortune and sell it.” Kili noticed. “You’re my test subject.”

“Your lab rat...” Fili smirked.

“I’d better get going. I have to take the morning shift tomorrow.” Kili gently told him.

Fili suddenly felt very sad, the idea Kili was not going to be there any longer was disturbing, especially after the connection he felt they had.

“Don’t be sad...” Kili gently scolded him. “I want you at the cafe for breakfast. I’ll make something special for you...” He told him with a smile.

“What time?” Fili asked.

“Whatever time if fine, I’m stuck there all morning, Bilbo is going to the doctor’s with Frodo.” Kili told him with a smile.

“Fine, I’ll be there as soon as get up.” Fili told him slowly.

“One question before I go... All those months... the mornings at the cafe, that was probably the only thing you ate or drank in the mornings?” Kili asked him gently.

Fili looked down to the floor, the way Kili cornered him made him feel vulnerable. Suddenly he felt defeated, the way Kili was looming over him, trying to take care of him, the way he knew how to predict Fili’s manoeuvres and he saw through his tricks. Tears came to his eyes, but the moment he felt one drip down his cheek he felt a gentle hand wipe it.

“I’m your friend. You don’t have to pretend in front of me, I’m going to be there for you no matter what deep dark things you’re trying to hide. I’ll still be there even if you fuck up. Just don’t lie to me.” Kili told him in a gentle tone. Kili could only focus on one thing, on his own heart screaming to him to take care of Fili. He had to be there for him, he had to help him.

Fili did a sudden move and embraced him and rested his head on Kili’s shoulders. Kili wrapped his arms around Fili and held him tightly. “I’ll be your personal therapist... not that I have the qualifications...” Kili laughed gently. “But I’ve been to so much therapy that I think I’m experienced enough...”

“Just be there...” Fili told him.

“As long as you want me Sunshine... as long as you’ll need me.” Kili told him and wiped another tear from his face. “I take it you don’t feel like letting go?” He asked gently and Fili firmly held him in place.

“I just...” Fili gasped unable to say it in words.

“I have to be there at five.” Kili told him firmly. “On any normal day I could stay and we could talk or watch films... But I really should have some sleep... Tomorrow is going to be a busy day.”

“Stay...” Fili managed to whisper.

“Let me text Bilbo.” Kili gently told him. “And since you’re asking so nicely... I think we can arrange that.”

Kili ended up in the second bedroom, but only after Fili cried on his shoulder for nearly half an hour. He set the alarm clock in his phone and snuggled in. He woke up suddenly, his heightened senses alarming him something was wrong. He always was a light sleeper, his mother quickly teaching him sleeping and not running away in time meant more trouble. He sat on the bed and listened in, and he got up as soon as he realised it was crying. Someone was crying and it could only be one particular someone.

Kili breathed in deeply and slowly walked to Fili’s bedroom, he sat on the bed and gently touched the blond’s shoulder. The sight of Fili squirming around and making those desperate noises nearly broke his heart.

Feeling the touch Fili immediately woke up... He looked up to Kili sitting right there and in a soft motion he pulled the brunet closer and wrapped his arms around him. Breaking the physical touch barrier when Kili first took his hand, made Fili seek out any reason to touch the brunet, and being half asleep suggested only one place where the brunet should be. In his arms.

Kili just smiled feeling the warm firm embrace and he gave in. Being there in Fili’s arms was his greatest dream, he snuggled in with the blond gently placing his own arms around him. He realised the moment Fili embraced him he just fell asleep again, so he gently put his head on the pillow and drifted away himself.

They both woke up when Kili’s alarm clock began ringing in the second bedroom. At first Kili just wanted to reach and grab Fili’s phone, but the moment he did it he realised it wasn’t the one ringing. Fili’s eyes were full of surprise as he glanced at the brunet in his bed, the memories of last night coming back slowly. He did not feel like letting him go at all. He just stared at him and whined softly as the brunet tried to free himself.

“Do you really have to go?” Fili asked in a sleepy voice.

“Fili this is not just a job... My family needs me there. I’m the only one who can take this morning shift.” Kili gently told him. “In an emergency one of the red heads would skip classes, but this is not an emergency is it?” He gently asked still embracing the blond.

“Can I come with you?” Fili realised he was being a bit too clingy, but if Kili minded he would probably just say so being direct as he was.

“Of course you can come. You’ll help me.” Kili smiled at him and gently snuggled against Fili, just to arch and pull them both slightly up. “My shift starts at five, so move it Sunshine.” He gently told him with a smile.

“Let’s go then.” Fili smiled and rushed to the bathroom. They left in less than fifteen minutes, Fili dressed in jeans and a soft blue hoodie. He was clearly still half asleep and very clingy, refusing to drop Kili’s hand not even for one second.

“If you’re still sleepy you can go to my bedroom.” Kili gently told him, but Fili shook his head.

“You stubborn goat...” Kili hissed at him and pulled him towards the bedroom anyway. “Come on I need to change my clothes.”

He motioned Fili to sit on the bed while he pulled out a clean white t-shirt and shirt from the wardrobe. As he predicted the moment he came back from the bathroom dressed for work, Fili was leaning against his pillow half asleep. With a kind smile he made Fili lie fully on the bed and covered him with the blanket and tucked him in.

“Come down when you wake up.” Kili gently told him and pressed a soft kiss to Fili’s forehead.

“Yes mom...” Fili whispered not really conscious anymore. Kili gently touched his blond long hair and with as smile he walked downstairs.

 


	7. Chapter 7

'I have no idea what's going on, but Kili has been spending all days with Fili since the concert and Fili is actually sleeping in Kili's bed atm...' Nori texted Tauriel.

'Do you think they are hitting at it?' Tauriel replied.

'Not sure.' Nori replied and after a moment he wrote another message. 'Fili's fully dressed and all... and knowing Kili’s problems it might not mean anything special yet.'

'But they are spending a lot of time together?' Tauriel asked.

'All day and night as it seems.' Nori replied. 'I'll be home for lunch so I'll text you again later...' He replied.

\------

Fili awoke feeling Kili’s smell all around him. He already knew it was the shampoo from the moment he used the one Kili ordered for him for the first time. The gentle fragrance bringing a warm feeling of comfort in his chest. He gazed around the room surprised he wasn’t in his own bedroom. He smiled remembering how the brunet tucked him in gently, and slowly realised it was already ten am.

He slowly go up and walked to the bathroom, and feeling very hesitant he walked downstairs to the shop.

“Good morning Sunshine!” Kili smiled seeing him.

“Hey...” Fili told him meekly. “How can you be so energetic in the morning?”

“Haven’t you noticed?” Kili smiled. “I’m hyperactive!”

“Did you have many customers since morning?” Fili asked.

“All the morning regulars apart from you.” Kili gently told him. “Take your seat and I’ll get you some breakfast.”

“You’re a life saver...” Fili gasped still feeling hazy.

Thorin arrived at the cafe around eleven just to see Fili sitting near the window eating a sandwich and sipping on a coffee. But what made Thorin stop and stare was the utterly happy smile on his face and a spark in his eyes Thorin had never seen before. He seemed lazy and relaxed and was radiating and eating without any problems.

"Hi where were you?" Thorin asked and sat in front of him. Fili just looked at him puzzled.

"I called you like ten times so I became worried..." Thorin noticed.

"That's my fault I put his phone on silent, so he could sleep peacefully." Kili informed him with a shy smile. "A coffee and something sweet?"

"Coffee and a muffin please." Thorin told him surprised with the strange vibe he got from both boys. For the first time he realised something was seriously going on between them since the concert, and the gentle nudge he and Bilbo staged seemed to have worked. He would love to see Fili happy for a change. And somehow Kili just seemed perfect for him.

"Is Bilbo home?" Thorin asked.

"Not yet, he texted me something is going to take longer, but he should be here by lunch." Kili told him lightly. "Nori is cooking today, so it'd be great if you both stay for lunch."

"With pleasure." Thorin quickly agreed thinking about Fili's lack of appetite.

As soon as Nori came back he visited the shop only to find Thorin and Fili sitting at their usual table and Kili working.

“So I assume you all are staying for lunch?” Nori grinned widely.

“Bilbo should be back soon as well.” Kili reminded him.

“So I’d better get cooking!” Nori smiled and ran to the back of the shop.

“Bring me two plates here.” Kili told him with a smile. “I can’t leave my post.”

“Fine!” Nori grinned and glanced at Fili with a smile.

After a while Bilbo walked in with Frodo following closely.

“How was the doctor’s visit?” Thorin asked him with a smile.

“Eventful.” Bilbo grimaced. “We had a small panic attack, next time you’re going with him Kili, you can always make him calm down.”

“I told you so...” Kili smiled.

“I know I know...” Bilbo breathed in deeply. “But I’m his legal guardian.”

“I know.” Kili smiled.

“Had Nori began cooking lunch? I’m famished.” Bilbo noticed.

“He should be done soon.” Kili told him quickly.

Soon another group of clients came in, and Kili quickly served them and prepared what they wanted.

“Lunch is ready!” Nori smiled and placed two plates in front of Fili. “I’ll take over for you to eat.” Nori told him with a smile.

“Nah I’m fine, go and eat with everyone.” Kili told him gently and soon Thorin, Bilbo and Frodo disappeared in the back of the shop towards the private stairs into the flat.

“So what will you do if someone comes in?” Fili asked him with a smirk.

“I’ll stop feeding you.” Kili smirked and took a first bite of the strange looking dish.

“What is that?” Fili asked looking at the food.

“Paella. It’s a Spanish dish.” Kili told him lightly and put another portion on the fork and shoved it towards Fili. Fili just grinned and ate the food with a smile, thrilled to be fed by Kili this way again.

After a while some people came in again and Kili just gave the fork to Fili with a smile and walked to the counter. After selling the cakes he returned to Fili who was still holding the fork not moving a muscle. Kili sat in front of him and gazed at him with a smirk.

“Are you going to just sit like that, I’m hungry...” Kili reminded him. Fili gazed at the fork and back to Kili and slowly put a bit of food on it and motioned towards Kili with a shy smile.

“Those two are so sweet...” Thorin gasped as he and Bilbo gazed into the shop to see if the boys needed help, either with the shop or getting Fili to eat.

“It seems he found a very efficient way to make Fili eat.” Bilbo smiled gently. “They both look so happy together like this.” He whispered back.

“I have a feeling they still have a long way ahead, Fili was never best at facing his feelings.” Thorin pulled Bilbo back towards the stairs and embraced him with a smile.

“Kili, well after years of therapy he finally managed to make some friends and open up a bit but he’s pretty much stuck in his shell all the time.” Bilbo told him. “We’ll have to gently watch over them and if they go the wrong way make them come back.”

“You’re the most amazing person in the world...” Thorin inhaled sensually and pressed their lips together.

A polite grunt broke them up. “I’m going to take over the shop.” Ori smiled and walked passed them to the cafe.

“Thank you Ori.” Bilbo smiled at him.

“Do you have plans for the rest of the day?” Thorin asked gently.

“And you don’t have work?” Bilbo noticed wisely.

“Not today.” Thorin smiled.

“So what are our plans?” Bilbo smiled gently.

“Let’s get the two lovebirds and go.” Thorin smiled.

Soon Fili and Kili went upstairs to the flat with the empty plates, Bilbo told them to put them in the dishwasher.

“So boys will you both come with us?” Thorin gently proposed at they came back to the living room.

“Where to?” Fili asked suspiciously.

“A surprise.” Thorin smiled.

“I need several minutes to change.” Kili told them with a smile and rushed to his room.

Fili gazed at disappearing Kili with such longing in his eyes that Bilbo wanted to hug the boy.

“Will you get Frodo ready? I’d like to talk to Fili for a moment.” Bilbo whispered to Thorin. Bilbo sat next to the blond and smiled at him, as Thorin left to get the youngest boy.

“You really like him, don’t you?” Bilbo gently asked the blond.

“He’s really nice.” Fili told him meekly and unsure.

“He’s been through a lot in life.” Bilbo told him gently. “You’ll have to be patient with him...”

“He told me some things...” Fili told Bilbo slowly.

“He needs a friend more than anything.” Bilbo told him. “Apart from Tauriel and us, everyone let him down. His family, the foster system... Don’t hurt him please.”

“I would never want to hurt him in any way...” Fili replied unsure.

“I’m happy you’re getting along well, I think you both needed someone you can trust.” Bilbo told him gently.

“So where are we going?” Frodo asked Thorin impatiently, the idea that another father figure appeared in his life made the small boy even more enthusiastic and open.

“A surprise!” Thorin told him.

“I’ll go get Kili...” Fili got up and walked to the brunet’s room, he gently knocked on the door.

“Just a minute!” Kili gasped and finally came out in a jumper and jeans.

“Ready?” Fili asked him with a smile.

“If you are...” Kili smiled and walked to the living room.

“So let’s go!” Thorin told them with a smile.

When they arrived at the Zoo Frodo’s eyes went wide.

“The Zoo?” Fili hissed surprised.

“The Zoo.” Bilbo smiled happily.

“We have like two hours to walk around and then we have a special meeting.” Thorin told them.

“With who?” Fili asked him with a smile.

“You’ll see!” Thorin smirked.

“Let’s see the tigers!” Kili grabbed the smaller boy, and grabbed his hand.

Fili flowed them with a smile and grabbed Frodo’s other hand and both of them lifted the boy gently.

Thorin gently took Bilbo’s hand and both of them walked behind the kids.

“I’m glad they became friends, Fili really needed someone to really care for him.” Thorin whispered to Bilbo gazing at the two boys playing with the child and chatting about the animals.

“So did Kili.” Bilbo replied. “He was my most difficult case.” He did not elaborate. “I’m surprised he turned out as well as he did, after all those things he’s been through.”

“I was wondering, Fili will soon have to go to the states for three weeks.” Thorin told him slowly. “And I’m really scared for him.”

“I bet if you ask Kili he will make sure he stays in touch.” Bilbo told him. “Kili has a mother hen syndrome.”

“Somehow I wonder if I could have done more for him.” Thorin sadly noticed. “I feel like I failed.”

“You did just fine.” Bilbo assured him. “Raising any child is difficult. A child who suffers the lost of parents and family is double difficult. Ones like Kili, being a failure of the foster system until he landed in my care are ten time more difficult.”

“Why haven’t I met you all those years ago?” Thorin noticed gently.

“I was stuck in Cambridge.” Bilbo noticed grimly.

“So how did you meet Kili?” Thorin suddenly asked gazing at the boys.

“Well, it was suppose to be my first Christmas alone after my mother died. I was volunteer in a charity that organised extra help for troubled students in the local orphanage. And well, and when I heard he was stuck in hospital and that he could come out of hospital, but no one wanted to take him in for Christmas, I somehow made a spontaneous decision.” Bilbo explained. “So first he stayed over for Christmas, and later I visited him several times in the orphanage, and simply began the paperwork. I have no idea how anyone would reject such a great kid. Troubled, but great, smart and kind at the same time.”

“You have the biggest heart from all the people I’ve ever met.” Thorin noticed gently.

“It’s just about doing what’s right.” Bilbo gently told him.

“The same as with the brothers?” Thorin smiled.

“The same.” Bilbo smiled.

 


	8. Chapter 8

“Boys lets go it’s time for our special meeting...” Thorin told them slowly.

“What kind of meeting?” Frodo gasped with enthusiasm.

“Come on!” Thorin easily lifted him and carried him, causing a wave of laughter from the small boy.

They went to a special service entrance and Thorin talked to the guard.

“We’re here to see Mr. Beorn.” Thorin told him in a serious tone.

“Mr. Durin?” The guard asked.

“Yes.” Thorin replied quickly.

“Please follow me.” The guard led them past ‘Only staff’ entrance.

“What is this place?” Fili gazed around surprised.

“It’s the animal infirmary.” The guard explained patiently.

They passed next to special incubators for animals. Some veterinary staff were checking on the infants and doing other duties around the infirmary. The guard led them to an office where a tall dark haired man was doing some paperwork.

“Thorin!” The man smiled seeing them enter. “And who is this?”

“My nephew I told you about, and these are our friends, Bilbo, Frodo and Kili.” Thorin quickly introduced them.

“So I bet you’d like to see our newest addition to the family?” Beorn smiled at them.

“Does he mean the animals?” Frodo gasped with emotion.

“Yes little rabbit, our newest baby. It will soon be his feeding time.” Beorn smiled and guided them to one of the rooms. In a big incubator lay probably the cutest thing in the world. It was white and had cute brownish-blackish marks on its body.

“Isn’t that a tiger?” Frodo gasped. “Why is it white? Will it change colour later?”

“It’s a white tiger.” Beorn told them calmly.

“He’s absolutely adorable!” Kili gasped gazing at the tiny infant.

“What’s his name?” Frodo asked Beorn with wide open eyes.

“He doesn’t have a name yet. Actually we’re in the middle of a campaign trying to raise more money for the zoo and the infirmary, and one of the contest is the possibility to propose a name for a symbolic one pound.” Beorn told them. “We’re getting lots of propositions.”

“Wow he’s got blue eyes!” Frodo gasped as the tiny tiger stretched and gazed at him curiously.

“All infants have blue eyes, but many white tigers have them all their lives.” Beorn informed the boy with a smile.

“I know you don’t usually do these kind of promotion stuff...” Thorin gazed at Fili. “But I’d really appreciate if you’d help out.”

“What kind of promotion stuff do you have in mind?” Fili asked slowly but the smile on his face faded a bit. As anytime someone would propose anything connected with his fame and not connected with his music.

“We’d really appreciate a photo.” Beorn told him. “A tiger even white can get a lot of publicity, but your face would let the campaign reach more people.” Beorn explained.

Kili, Frodo and Bilbo gazed at Fili waiting for his answer.

“I’d have to talk with my manager.” Fili noticed slowly.

“He’s all in.” Thorin told him.

“We’d have to arrange a full session and stuff...” Fili noticed.

“Nope, we were thinking of a more casual photo.” Beorn told him. “A natural photo.”

“What kind of photo?” Fili gazed at him.

“Well, we sort of have a crazy promotion idea...” Thorin told him with a smirk. “Get one of the staff to take a photo of you with the tiger and place it on the web, and see where that leads to.”

“So like memo?” Kili asked.

“Something of that kind.” Beorn noticed. “With a small text to support the campaign.”

“So you want my photo with the tiger to just slip on the internet?” Fili noticed.

“That’s actually pretty smart. Free wide spread publicity.” Bilbo noticed.

“What do you want me to do?” Fili inhaled deeply.

“Well it’d be best if you just play around and we’ll see what happens.” Beorn told him. “You could try to feed him later when he gets a bit tired.”

“Is it dangerous?” Frodo asked worried.

“Not at all, although he does have some teeth and claws, so you’d best be careful.” Beorn warned him.

“Why doesn’t his mother feed him?” Frodo suddenly asked worried.

“She rejected him.” Beorn told the boy sadly. “That often happens with wild animals bred in captivity, especially if it was by in vitro.”

“In vitro?” Frodo asked surprised.

“Meaning the tiger has no father, he was created in a laboratory.” Kili told the boy.

“Oh...” Frodo gasped. “I don’t have a dad either, and neither does Kili, were we created in a laboratory as well?” He asked Bilbo with wide eyes.

“No Frodo. Both of you had natural dads, but you both lost them.” Bilbo gently hugged the boy. “But that’s not a conversation for here and now.”

“So Fili would you do it as a favour for me?” Thorin gently asked knowing his nephew’s aversion towards any publicity apart from playing music.

“I’d like to see the photos before we chose one.” Fili made the condition. “And Kili gets to render it and add the text and stuff like that.”

“Why Kili?” Thorin was surprised.

“He’s an IT specialist.” Fili informed him dully.

“Is he really?” Thorin gazed at the brunet surprised.

“So when do you want to do the session?” Fili asked Beorn.

“Today?” Beorn asked gently. “The sooner the better for us.”

“Here?” Fili asked gazing at the laboratory.

“No, we have a beautiful yard for the pups.” Beorn showed him into a nice meadow and play area for the small cubs.

“So play around, and see what happens?” Fili asked.

“Do you have a camera or something?” Bilbo asked.

“We’re prepared for that.” Beorn told him calmly. “Personally I think the feeding is most charming, but we’ll pick the best photo.”

“Can Kili and Frodo come with me?” Fili asked unsure.

“They may.” Beorn quickly agreed. “We’ll be watching from the glass window.” He assured him. “If anything bad happens I will personally step in. He’s not very dominant or aggressive, but he’s still a tiger.”

“Oh and when he comes up to someone and starts licking and sucking on fingers, it’s feeding time.” Beorn told him one last thing.

“Just fucking great...” Fili mumbled so that Frodo would not hear. Kili took the camera and just smiled.

They played around with the tiger for nearly an hour. The tiger freshly awoken from his nap was energetic and ran around with Frodo so badly that the boy soon became sleepy himself. Bilbo gently took him away and so Fili and Kili stayed alone with the tiger. It took another half an hour of playing before finally the tiger became cuddly and licky, which clearly indicated he was hungry.

“He’s got a better appetite than you...” Kili noticed as the tiger nearly clung to Fili and got into his lap and began making funny barking sounds obviously demanding his food.

Kili quickly reached for the bottle and passed it to Fili with a smile. Fili smiled back, but his grin went wide seeing the vivid eagerness of the small tiger to finally get his food. Soon the tiger was laying in his arms, and drinking the bottle eagerly.

“Look at me Sunshine...” Kili suddenly whispered to him, and as Fili gazed up with happy warm eyes he could only stare at Kili’s bright smile and smile back happily.

Later as they sat in Beorn’s office and watched the photos, they all quickly agreed the one where Fili was holding the eating tiger, and the tiger’s eyes were half closed with sleep and content, and Fili was looking at the camera with a wide happy smile, was simply breathtaking. The blue jumper Fili was wearing was making his and the tiger’s eyes stand out, and added a blue glow to the tiger’s fur. It looked stunning.

“So what kind of memo were you thinking of?” Kili asked slowly.

“Something modern and witty.” Beorn told him. “But you need to make sure the link to the campaign is attached somehow.”

“Will do.” Kili smiled at him.

“We’re taking the memory card, when can you get it ready?” Thorin asked Kili.

“Tonight it should be done.” Kili told them confidently.

“Once it’s done send it to this address, and my employees will start spreading it...” Beorn gave them an e-mail address.

When they came home for dinner, Nori had already cooked something Mexican. Frodo quickly went to bed tired after the long emotional day. Soon they all ate and chatted about the session, and Kili took his laptop and began playing with the selected photo.

He was sitting on the sofa with folded legs, and tapping and cutting and doing other stuff. Fili impatiently sat as close as possible, but the way Kili was sitting didn’t let him see the screen well, so soon disregarding everyone around he just wrapped his arm around Kili and came even closer. Bilbo watched the display of closeness with wide eyes, the two red heads present with clear shock on their faces. Thorin just smirked thinking they were surprised with the speed this relationship was developing, little did he know the reason for shock was the fact that practically nobody could touch Kili at all. Any physical contact leading to panic attacks and running away. But not Fili as it seemed.

“It looks great.” Fili suddenly said.

“It does.” Kili smiled happily.

“Give us the laptop!” Nori hissed and grabbed it so that everyone else could see.

“Amazing photo!” Dori smiled.

“Getting to meet your favourite rock star is cool, but getting to see your favourite rock star bottle feed a white tiger is priceless!” Nori read the memo.

“You did a great job.” Thorin praised him.

“So are we sending, or do you want some changes?” Kili asked Fili still in his arms.

“It’s just perfect.” Fili agreed. “I like how you added the campaign sign and link.” He noticed.

“Let’s see just how popular your face can be.” Kili smiled and grabbed his laptop back.

“I bet he’ll get more than a million likes within 24 hours.” Nori noticed with a smile.

“More like ten million.” Kili noticed with a grin.

“You’re on!” Nori smiled.

“What are you betting for?” Fili asked slowly.

“The loser takes an extra shift in the bakery.” Nori told him with a smirk.

“So you’d better win.” Fili scolded Kili.

“I have faith in you.” Kili just smiled happily and pressed send.

“Anyway, I’m going on a business trip to Sweden for a few days, so I’d really appreciate if you keep an eye on Fili.” Thorin gently told Bilbo and Kili.

“Don’t worry I got that covered.” Kili smiled radiantly.

“You do?” Bilbo noticed with a smile.

“He even hacked my phone to track me.” Fili hissed.

“And to control your food problem.” Kili added pointing his finger playfully at him. “So don’t be surprised with strange text messages from Fili’s phone about his progress.” Kili smiled at Thorin.

“That’s really kind of you.” Thorin noticed. “I better get going, I still need to pack tonight.”

“You should simply move in.” Nori suddenly told Thorin with a smirk.

“Don’t you say?” Thorin noticed with a grin.

“You’ll have closer to Fili... not to mention to Bilbo’s bed.” Nori joked.

“You wouldn’t mind?” Thorin noticed suddenly.

“We’d like to see Bilbo happy for a change. He deserves something from life.” Nori smiled at him.

“I’m still here...” Bilbo reminded him.

“Just saying, you’re not getting any younger...” Nori hissed with a wide grin.

Kili just glanced at Thorin and back to Fili.

“That would be great.” He added shyly.

“Thank you boys for your input, but that’s our decision to make not yours.” Bilbo scolded both of them. “We’ll come back to the topic when alone and when Thorin comes back from his trip.” He told them firmly, in a tone that surprised both Fili and Thorin.

“If you say so Dad!” Kili quickly agreed and stepped down.

“We just want you happy Dad.” Nori added.

“I know boys, but I can assure you, I can make decision on my own.” Bilbo smiled at them, he loved when they called him dad.

“I’d better get going too...” Fili noticed sadly and gazed at Kili with so much pleading in his eyes the brunet immediately gave in.

“I’ll walk you home.” Kili told him and went to his room.

“By walk him home, do you mean you might not come home yourself?” Nori followed Kili with a witty remark and closed the bedroom door behind them. Kili gazed back at him and sent him a firm stare.

“Just don’t get yourself hurt.” Nori gently told him.

“We’re just friends...” Kili gasped.

“Kee, I’ve known you for seven years, you love the guy.” Nori told him bluntly. “I have no idea about him, apart from the fact that you’re a huge fan of his, and he’s awfully nice and shy.”

“What are you implying?” Kili asked him surprised.

“Stop being shy yourself.” Nori noticed. “The way he looks at you could melt an ice berg.”

Kili inhaled deeply. “There is no way someone like him would want someone like me...” He noticed sadly.

“Why don’t you find out?” Nori asked gently.

“And risk losing him as a friend?” Kili gazed at Nori with pain in his eyes. “Just being next to him is enough.”

“If you say so.” Nori gently told him and watched Kili push some stuff into his backpack along with his laptop.

“Let’s go.” Kili told Fili shyly as he came back to the living room.

“Stay in touch.” Bilbo gently told Kili as they were leaving.

“Don’t worry...” Kili hissed.

“I always worry.” Bilbo gently smiled at him.

They walked to the flat in a quick pace, but despite feeling close they did not hold hands. They waited till the entered the lift, and as soon as their hands entwined they felt safe.

“So do you have to take a shift tomorrow?” Fili gently asked.

“Nope.” Kili replied. “Why do you ask?”

“Any classes tomorrow?” Fili asked again.

“Nope.” Kili replied. “Why do you ask?” He asked again.

“I have some plans.” Fili told him shortly.

“What kind of plans?” Kili asked.

“You’ll see...” Fili smiled radiantly and pulled him inside the flat.

Fili dragged him to the cinema room and encouraged Kili to get some snacks.

“You really want me to get something to eat?” Kili smile radiantly.

“We had to eat the last meal with other people... I miss you feeding me...” Fili smile happily.

“I’m spoiling you, aren’t I?” Kili noticed happily.

“And I love it!” Fili noticed. “No one ever spoiled me...”

“Don’t talk bull shit, you’re one of the most famous singers in the world, you come from a very rich family. Everyone spoiled you...” Kili noticed wittily.

“They don’t count!” Fili remarked.

“So what kind of snacks?” Kili asked.

“You know food better...” Fili noticed.

“Fine, pick a film and I’ll get us something...” Kili gently smiled and ran to the kitchen.

When he returned he smiled seeing Fili on the sofa under a blanket. He sat and rested his back against Fili’s stomach.

“How are you planning to eat like this?” Kili asked with a gentle smirk.

Fili shifted a bit. “Better?” He grinned.

“You’re already spoilt.” Kili noticed and shoved a treat into his mouth. “So what film are we watching?”

“Wait and see...” Fili told him and gently embraced the brunet.

“The Green mile?” Kili asked surprised. “One of my favourites.”

When they finished the snacks Kili gazed at Fili unsure what to do, but Fili just smiled and pulled him under the blanket. Kili snuggled into the warmth of the only person he felt safe with, the only person he would ever love.

As the film was slowly ending, Fili gazed at napping Kili with a tender smile. The brunet was so cute and fun. His company during the day was thrilling to say the least. He was so sexy and sweet. His over protectiveness was charming, not overwhelming like he had always though some people to be, like Thorin in the past. He wanted him to be close, he wanted him to always be there in his arms, even if only as a friend. Even if he didn’t love him. Fili dreamt of having him near, that would just have to be enough. He could not expect somebody so fascinating to share his feelings. He gently traced his hair with his fingers and he inhaled the unmistakable smell. He just wanted to bring his lips closer and for a single moment just feel the taste of his skin and lips. He gently caressed his cheek and soft skin with his fingers. He could immediately feel Kili stir in his slumber.

“Let’s go to bed.” He told him gently.

“I’m tired.” Kili complained.

“Let’s go...” Fili gently lifted him and Kili just snuggled deeper into his arms feeling comfortable.

“Don’t think I’m going to spoil you, it’s your job to spoil me... I’m the super star!” Fili laughed gently as Kili snuggled into his arms when placed in bed. Kili just giggled happily and embraced him firmly.

“Take off at least some of your clothes, you won’t be comfortable this way.” Fili scolded him with a smirk, Kili just nodded and in a swift move got rid of his jeans and hoodie.

Fili firmly grabbed him and with a feeling of deep content he rested his head against the pillow. “You can’t even imagine how lonely I was without you in my life...” He gently whispered to the sleeping brunet.

“My life was miserable as well.” Kili told him and embraced him closely. “Go to sleep Sunshine, I’ll make sure no nightmare disturbs you.”

“I’d love that for a change.” Fili noticed and slowly drifted away he felt safe for a change.

“I’ll always be there for you.” Kili whispered when Fili finally fell asleep.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Fili awoke feeling warm and comfortable. He hadn’t had a full night of sleep in years. Living alone making his nightmares come back. He never came back to the topic knowing uncle would send him to therapy again. But now he felt so safe and warm it was soothing. He gently traced the arm embracing him, and his mind forced him to focus when he felt something he did not expect on Kili’s naked skin. His fingers lingered on the scars. He suddenly opened his eyes realising what he was feeling. Kili’s left hand embracing him was covered in scars. No wonder he always wore long sleeves, Fili realised quickly as his eyes traced the deep profound marks on Kili’s skin. He shifted to Kili’s face and saw him stare back at him. Kili’s eyes were wide and awake, and had a taint of panic. Fili nearly felt heartbroken again seeing Kili so scared. His eyes returned to the scars and he gently traced them again.

“Did it hurt?” Fili asked slowly.

“It was meant to hurt.” Kili noticed grimly.

Fili stared back into his eyes again, and slowly he tried to push away his own panic attack. But it was difficult, the idea that someone would hurt his precious Kili was a bit too much for him to bear. He felt tears come into his eyes, he wanted to shield Kili from the world, from all the pain, but who could he if he was so weak and imperfect himself?

“Who did it to you?” Fili asked slowly, tracing one of the longest deepest cuts.

Kili just stared back at the gentle fingers caressing his scars. “I did it myself.” He told him, and when he saw Fili’s eyes go wide with surprise he added. “I told you I was fucked up.”

“What do you mean by fucked up?” Fili asked.

“I had to go to therapy, not only because the foster program demanded so.” Kili told him grimly.

“Why did you hurt yourself?” Fili gently asked.

“To feel the pain.” Kili told him. “To make the pain take away my tears and despair.”

On some strange level Fili understood that, he had been tempted to try it so many times, but he was always too scared to do something so extreme. “I understand.” Fili gently told him. “Why seven?” He counted the biggest parallel scars.

“One for each foster family that sent me back...” Kili explained slowly.

“You were in seven foster families before Bilbo?” Fili’s voice nearly broke down feeling all the pain Kili must have gone trough. “Why would anyone take a child and then sent him back? That hurts like hell.”

“All of them wanted the same thing, a happy child, a child without any problems. There are few children in the foster system like that.” Kili explained. “I told you about my ADD, my dyslexia, add to that insomnia, all kinds of phobias and problems. They all wanted a perfect calm smart child. And they got me...”

“You are perfect...” Fili slowly told him.

“As much as I love hearing that, I know it’s not true... otherwise so many people wouldn’t want to hurt me, would they?” Kili noticed grimly. “Thank Mahal I’m not a child anymore. Thank Mahal I met Bilbo.”

“Bilbo is really special.” Fili noticed with a smile.

“He’s the best person in the world.” Kili quickly agreed, still feeling uncertain whether Fili really accepted him for what he was.

“You must have been in huge pain...” Fili gazed at the scares again.

“I... It felt the only way to make my problems go away.” Kili told him slowly.

“I know how that feels. I did something crazy once as well...” Fili slowly told him. “I wanted to feel pain but I was too scared to do something like you did...”

“What did you do?” Kili asked with narrow eyes.

Fili breathed in deeply. “I’ve never told anyone why I did it, not even uncle...” Fili admitted. Kili gazed at him cautiously. “It was the first year I began living alone. It felt so depressing to be alone here. In uncle’s house there was always some staff lurking around, even if uncle was away on business, I was never really alone. Here it felt empty...” He stopped for a moment. “It gave me courage. When I had my first attacks of stage fright, it helped me. Knowing about it... it made me more confident and strong.” The way Kili was gazing at it with a puzzled expression was extremely cute. “Would you like to see?” Fili asked with a gentle smile, and Kili nodded eagerly.

Fili sat up in bed and in a soft gesture reached for his t-shirt. In a swift move the t-shirt was the on the floor and Fili lay on his stomach so that Kili could see what he did in his moment of weakness. He heard a deep gasp, just like anyone who saw it for the first time.

“You...” Kili’s finger’s gently traced the tattoo. “It must have hurt a lot...” Kili noticed and trailed the huge dragon with his trembling finger tips, Fili had huge problems hiding his own shivers as those gentle fingers trailed his back. The innocent touch arousing him more than he wanted.

“That was the idea... but no one would understand.” Fili noticed. “Or so I thought...”

“It’s magnificent...” Kili gasped still taking in and admiring the huge blue dragon in flight.

“I’m glad you like it. Uncle refused to talk with me for two weeks when he found out.” Fili confessed.

“What would you like for breakfast?” Kili asked gently.

“Not sure...” Fili told him slowly. “There is one thing I wanted to ask... my band is going to some crazy party on Saturday, would you come with me?”

“Tauriel wanted to take me somewhere...” Kili told him slowly. “But I can arrange a different date for that.”

“So it that a yes?” Fili smiled.

“How could I ever say no?” Kili smirked and rushed to the kitchen to get some breakfast ready. “Would you like to learn something new?” He gazed back into the bedroom, just to take in the sight of half naked Fili. He was slim, more slim than he should be, but none the less he was beautiful. He had gently curly hairs on his chest, and he looked simply perfect.

“What kind of new thing?” Fili smiled radiantly.

“Flipping pancakes.” Kili smiled.

“Give me ten minutes!” Fili smiled and rushed to the bathroom.

After a long session of learning how to flip pancakes, filled of laughter and ruined pancakes, Fili laughed it was the best breakfast in his life. He just wished he could hold Kili just like he felt he needed to. He wanted to embrace him and anytime he would laugh he wanted to kiss those soft lips. It was so hard to hold back, it was so hard to just be friends.

“Come on, I’d like to show you around properly.” Fili extended his hand and Kili entwined their fingers impatiently.

“What’s more to see around here?” Kili asked.

“This place used to belong to my uncle Frerin, and the band Erebor would live and practise here.” Fili told him.

“What about the neighbours?” Kili asked with a smirk.

“What neighbours?” Fili replied. “The flat is the whole floor. Come on...” He pulled Kili along.

“So where does one flat end and the other begin?” Kili asked.

“The first one used to be just this living room area, it’s over one hundred seventy meters.” Fili explained. “But my mother decided they needed more space since they would often stay over. So they bought the second flat and joined them. The first bedroom was still the space from the first one, and second one begins here.” Fili stood at the entrance to the second bedroom. “There are two more bedrooms each with a bathroom. But my favourite part is this.” Fili guided him to what probably used to be the second living room, but now was a music room. “Most of these are still from Erebor.” Fili told him pointing towards all the instruments gathered there. “The Erebor used to practise here, my band used to do that at the beginning as well when Dwalin lived here.”

“Why did Dwalin move out?” Kili asked him slowly.

“He said this place should belong to me since it was Frerin’s and since my parents used to spend so much time over here.” Fili told him. “Uncle said it was a great idea that I move out on my own, so... I just moved in and Dwalin moved out.”

“Why didn’t you tell your uncle you didn’t want to live all alone?” Kili gently asked him.

“It was too difficult.” Fili told him.

“You need to learn to talk.” Kili hissed. “So which of these can you play?” He gazed around at everything there.

“Almost all of them?” Fili noticed. “I’m not great with the piano or violin but I know how to play.”

“What about drums and guitars and all that stuff?” Kili asked.

“I’m average with drums, pretty good with guitars.” Fili told him with a smile.

“Prove your worth Sunshine...” Kili smiled at him radiantly and sat on the comfortable sofa.

“What would you like to listen to?” Fili asked gently taking a classical guitar and he sat on a chair.

“Anything...” Kili smiled.

Fili just smiled and began playing a Beetles classic song ‘Help’.

Kili just sat there and smiled at the choice and with huge pleasure listened to Fili’s strong voice.

“Have you ever tried singing?” Fili suddenly asked when he finished the song.

“Not really.” Kili told him shyly.

“I think you should.” Fili told him slowly. “You have a very nice deep voice.”

“It’s just...” Kili sighed deeply. “Another phobia... my mother hated my singing...” He explained.

“You’re mother’s long gone!” Fili reminded him. “Screw the bitch, and sing all you like...”

“It’s more like I don’t feel like it anymore...” Kili added in a sad tone.

“Try? For me please?” Fili noticed gently.

“I have no idea...” Kili noticed. “No idea what I would like to sing.”

“What’s your favourite band?” Fili gently asked. “What’s your favourite song?”

Kili blushed madly and did not know what to say.

“Come on, I told you so much personal stuff...” Fili hissed suddenly.

Kili gazed at him deeply. “Will you remember.” He finally mumbled, and Fili stared at him with surprise.

“Why didn’t you just say so...” Fili noticed slowly.

“It’s more like I didn’t want you to think I’m only here because I like your music.” Kili confessed in a low voice.

“So you’re a fan?” Fili gently asked.

“More than that probably.”Kili noticed grimly.

“And you thought I would reject you if you told me that?” Fili noticed slowly.

“You hate your fans...” Kili spoke in a low voice.

“Most don’t care about me... they care about becoming famous, about fucking a super star... they just want to use me.” Fili told him grimly. “If you wanted something like that you’d be the one who would ask for the autograph in that restaurant.”

“You remember that?” Kili’s eyes went wide.

“Of course.” Fili replied slowly. “Tauriel asked for the autograph and you stayed back at the table. Most fans would rush at the chance to chat with me. Most would try something at the coffee shop, that’s why I could come over undisturbed, you treated me as a normal customer. I really liked that.”

“So you don’t think I’m a psycho fan or a groupie?” Kili needed to make sure.

“You’re the first normal person in my life.” Fili confirmed with a smile. “Any other person in your shoes would use this to try to convince me to make a record with you or to promote themselves, and you’re too shy to even sing a bit for me...”

“I never sang anything...” Kili noticed.

“Not even when alone?” Fili gently asked.

“I chant sometimes, but it’s not the same thing.” Kili noticed.

“Good enough for me, I’d love to hear you chant.” Fili noticed gently. “So I’ll sing something and you just join in for the chorus?”

“What kind of song? I might not know the lyrics...” Kili noticed grimly.

“Classic stuff...” Fili gasped and simply began playing and singing. Kili’s eyes went wide as he recognised the choice ‘Mrs. Robinson’. And hesitantly after the third line he decided to try to join in, there was no way he could disappoint Fili. He saw Fili smile radiantly as he sang fully on the second chorus.

“I told you, you could sing.” Fili smiled as the song ended.

“You’re just being nice...” Kili grimaced shyly and nervously folded his hands in his lap.

“Kili...” Fili’s low’s voice made him shiver. Fili quickly put away the guitar and sat on the floor in front of Kili. As Kili began desperately wiping off his tears, Fili wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into his arms.

“I’m not just being polite... You have a great voice.” Fili told him. “I’d really like to spend some time here with you, just hanging out and singing. It’s stupid to sing to empty walls. I want you here with me... and it’s not just being polite.” Fili gently petted his head and took on Kili’s weight as the brunet just slid down from the sofa fully into his warm arms.

“You’re just so special... so phenomenal... how can you want to spend time with someone like me?” Kili gasped with tears.

“You’re phenomenal yourself. So warm, so kind and so special.” Fili told him seriously. “You like me, not because I’m a singer, but because I’m a person. You’re my only real friend...”

Kili just rested his head on Fili’s shoulder and leaned even more against him.

“Will you sing for me some more?” Kili suddenly asked in a pleading tone.

“Anything you want Pet...” Fili told him gently, and saw a radiant smile as an answer. “What song?”

“Just sing whatever you feel like...” Kili noticed shyly.

“Will you join in?” Fili gently asked.

“If that is what you want.” Kili nodded.

The first song Kili was silent, but the second one he just smiled and chanted gently in the chorus. The third one Kili gazed at him with a smirk, and the moment Fili began singing Kili lost all his reservation and he sang along confidently. He knew his favourite song by heart and all the lyrics, so he just closed his eyes and sang.

When Fili stopped playing, Kili just gazed at him unsure why he stopped. Fili glanced at him seriously. “Move in with me.” He suddenly said.

“What?” Kili gazed at him surprised.

“I’d really like you to move in with me.” Fili repeated.

“I’m not sure...” Kili began in a desperate tone. “Bilbo and everyone there... they are my family.”

“You could still work in the cafe and spend time with them. I’d like you to be here with me as well.” Fili told him slowly. “Sorry if I intruded...”

“I will consider it, but don’t expect an answer soon. We shouldn’t rush with decisions like that.” Kili told him what his rational side dictated, by his heart desperately wanted to should out with joy. “I will have to talk to Bilbo, all important decisions are always discussed with him.”

“Clear.” Fili nodded in agreement. “I’m happy you didn’t say no.”

Kili just raised his eyebrows. “Don’t tell me your self esteem is that low?” He noticed sadly.

“Sorry...” Fili gasped.

“So tell me who writes the songs for Sunken?” Kili suddenly changed topic.

“Depends, last album was mostly mine and some songs were Bofur’s, but we often write music together as a band.” Fili explained.

“Why was the last album so heartbreaking?” Kili gently asked.

“I felt sad.” Fili explained.

“Can you promise me one thing?” Kili asked joyfully.

“What?” Fili asked suspiciously.

“Could you make the next one a happy album?” Kili smiled happily.

“As long as you move in...” Fili grinned. “And keep me company, spoil me and feed me.”

“We should take a look on face book.” Kili smiled. “I’m wondering how the memo is doing.”

“Let’s go then.” Fili extended his hand and breathed in deeply when Kili’s entwined with his. He loved the feeling of their joint hands, almost as much as he loved the feeling of Kili’s warm arms embracing him at night, or their voices syncing while singing. But one thing was still stronger, his love for him. The deep longing and feeling of happiness that he could be there right next to him.

Kili pulled out his laptop, but first noticed his phone had a message waiting for him.

“Tauriel isn’t mad at all I’ve cancelled.” He told Fili shortly and sat comfortable on the bed and turned on the laptop. Fili got on the bed behind him and embraced him tightly from behind so he could see what Kili was doing on his laptop.

“So we should probably start from the Zoo website if it’s employees who began spreading.” Kili noticed. “Or maybe not.” He glanced at recent notifications and having one of the Sunken fan clubs in his favourites, easily gave the memo was the first on the list.

“Is that the number of likes?” Fili gazed at the memo and blinked.

“That’s the number of share...” Kili noticed. “The number of likes should be here.” He clicked on the memo. “I have to admit, even I didn’t give you so much faith.” He gazed at the blond with a happy smile. “Fifty million likes in less that twelve hours, I bet that’s a new world record.”

“Do I really have so many fans?” Fili gasped.

“No, the newborn white tigers has so many fans, let’s see the comments.” Kili suggested and clicked.

‘He’s so handsome!’

‘I can’t decided what is more sweet his smile or the tiger!’

‘Another self loathing star...’

‘I wonder how much he got paid for this.’

‘I wish I could just catch him on a leash and keep him at home...’

“I wonder who she wants to catch, you or the tiger...” Kili hissed.

“I’m scared...” Fili admitted stunned with the reaction of the public.

“Don’t worry Sunshine, I’ll protect you.” Kili smiled at him.

“This whole fame thing is overrated. I wish I could just make music and avoid any publicity at all.” Fili gasped annoyed.

“Hard stuff in your profession.” Kili noticed.

“It’s just soon we’re going to do a stupid promotion event in America, and it’ll be hell. TV interviews, they will probably try to talk me into some stupid TV programmes like Dancing with The Stars, or some other crap. I simply hate it.” Fili complained.

“How long will you be gone?” Kili asked slowly.

“At least three weeks.” Fili grunted sadly, and watched Kili glanced at him with wide sad eyes. “I’ll miss your food.”

“If you dare skip a meal I’ll feed you so badly that you’ll look like a blond little piggy!” Kili hissed.

“I wish you could come with me...” Fili rested his head on Kili’s shoulder and inhaled his scent.

“I wish so too, but my studies and work...” Kili noticed.

“I know...” Fili grimaced.

 


	10. Chapter 10

‘So imagine my surprise when Kili texted me he won’t come with me because Fili asked him to go to some party with him...’ Tauriel texted Nori.

‘We’re probably thinking of the same party...’ Nori swiftly replied. ‘Kili spent another night at his place and didn’t come home today.’

‘He might as well move in...’ Tauriel replied.

‘I’m hoping it will come to that, but it seems the band is going on a promotion thing to America...’ Nori complained.

‘For how long?’ Tauriel replied.

‘Several weeks....’ Nori texted back.

‘For crap’s sake!’ Tauriel replied. ‘We have to get them officially together before that... Are they together together?’

“Not yet, Kili said they were just friends. I told him to stop being shy, but he openly said he will never risk losing his friendship...’ Nori replied.

‘Fucking shit!’ Tauriel replied. ‘We need a better plan...’

‘I’m working on it.’ Nori texted back. ‘But one good news... Fili is able to touch him, and I serious mean touch, I’ve seen him embrace Kili without any panic attack or anything...’ Tauriel just grinned widely reading that last text.

\------

“Thorin we need to talk about the issue you wanted.” Gloin called Thorin at the end of the week. “But you’re not going to like what you’ll hear, so do you want to know or should I burn it all?”

“I simply have to know.” Thorin replied.

“I’ll be at your office after noon.” Gloin replied and hung up.

Thorin gazed at his computer screen and at the photo of Fili with the tiger and he felt he simply had to know.

When Gloin finally arrived Thorin had no idea how to interpret the serious firm look on his cousin’s face.

“Tell me. I really need to know.” Thorin told him.

“So from the beginning.” Gloin inhaled and began putting documents on the table. “In 1990 Melisa Cotton claimed to be have been pregnant with Villi Oakenshield. According to the her explanations in court, Villi drugged her and they had an intercourse, and later she became pregnant. DNA testing was unknown at that time so we have no conclusive information. It was her word against his, and well his word was stronger.”

“What happened?” Thorin asked.

“We all know what happened. Just after the second hearing, Villi left for the concert in Paris. When he died the court case was dismissed, thanks to my father’s influence.” Gloin continued.

“What about that Melisa and her child?” Thorin asked slowly.

“Thorin we should burn this, and forget about it.” Gloin told him again.

“I need to know.” Thorin insisted stubbornly.

“She changed her last name to Oakenshield the next year. I have no idea how she managed to get that done, but there is little we could have done even if we found out. She or the child had no claim on the money or the blood relation anyway.” Gloin told him disturbed. “She moved to Leeds later on.”

“What was the boy’s name?” Thorin asked.

“Kili.” Gloin told him shortly and saw the reaction he was expecting, pure shock.

“A coincidence?” Thorin gasped.

“Not at all.” Gloin passed him the photo. “Kili Oakenshield.” A picture of someone Thorin had already met, a person he encouraged Fili to spend time with.

“How did he land in the foster system?” Thorin asked grimly.

“Long story, or the short version?” Gloin asked in a very grim tone.

“I need to know everything.” Thorin told him in a deadly tone.

“His mother, Melisa lost parental rights when he was seven. The documents are sealed, but what I dug up was not nice at all. Drinking problems, suspected abuse.” Gloin told him shortly. “He landed in the orphanage, he was placed in seven foster families, and rejected by all seven.”

“What were their reasons?” Thorin grimaced.

“Files are sealed, I reached the old social worker from this case. The only thing I got was that the boy was difficult, hyperactive, doing terribly at school, not respecting rules, and hard to contact. He was withdrawn and fearful of people. Unable to be touched physically, he was difficult to take care of.” Gloin told him slowly. “People who took him, some were good people who quickly realised they could not care for him properly, but others had made the state of the boy worse. Changing location and environment so often must have also influenced the boy deeply. With time his destructive behaviours reached a peak, he began injuring himself and punishing himself. Despite extensive therapy he did not progress.”

“Bilbo told me they met when he was in hospital...” Thorin told him slowly.

“After the seventh family rejected him and sent him back, it was decided the boy would remain in the orphanage, or be transferred to a special facility for troubled teenagers, but he was in hospital for some reason.” Gloin told him slowly. “Bilbo formally adopted him shortly later, and he’s been under his care ever since. He managed to finish high school, just barely, but was accepted to university.”

Thorin tapped the desk impatiently. “Does he know who Fili is?”

“What do you mean?” Gloin asked cautiously.

“About Erebor.”Thorin clarified.

“I have no idea, but since he’s an adult now, he must have got at least some of the paperwork from his files. He might know about the accusation his mother made, such a note might have been attached to his birth certificate.” Gloin noticed. “What are you going to do now?”

“I’m not sure.” Thorin noticed grimly. “He might be close to Fili just to hurt him, or worse to take revenge on the family that was supposed to be his.”

“Thorin, the boy is a good kid, no matter how you look at him. I don’t believe his infatuation with Fili is just a ploy to get into Fili’s life and to use him in any way.” Gloin told him slowly. “Are you still planning to do the DNA tests?”

“I have no idea what to do.” Thorin grimaced and his though ventured towards Bilbo. This one information might break his life in three parts, and he had no idea how to manage the damage.

\------

Bilbo felt as if someone punched him in the gut when he got a short message from Thorin he wouldn’t show up for dinner. The next day he got a message Thorin was going on a business trip. But the grim silence was making him nervous. He though their relationship was serious, serious enough to start planning a future together, it felt really bad his boyfriend wasn’t convinced of the same thing.

Kili had rarely come home in the last days, his radiant smile adding to the happiness around the boy. It felt great to see him happy for a change.

Kili was not sure how to treat going with Fili to the party together, his feelings were deeply mixed up. He wanted to be with him, he desperately wanted the blond in any way possible, but the last days, sleeping together, cuddling, feeding each other, seemed more like a romantic relationship that just a friendship. He was scared he was crossing some magical border between friendship and relationship, and he had a feeling he was pushing his luck. He wanted Fili desperately, and he feared the blond would think of him as of a burden.

“Are you ready?” Fili smiled warmly gazing at Kili with a bright light in his eyes.

“Do you think I should go with you?” Kili asked hesitantly.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way, I generally hate parties.” Fili told him with a grin. “Pray there is no karaoke...”

“Why?” Kili gazed at him.

“They force me to sing every time...” Fili gasped.

“I’ll help you out Sunshine.” Kili smiled and reached for his hand. “Let’s go.” He smiled radiantly.

They took a taxi, and arrived at the private club.

“Just as a warning, I don’t drink much.” Kili clarified. “I practically don’t drink.”

“Neither do I Pet.” Fili held his hand firmly as they walked in.

“What are we expecting?” Kili asked.

“Some friends, private room as always.” Fili noticed. “We never party in huge crowds.”

“Good.” Kili was slightly trembling.

When they security let them pass, and they were told where to go, Fili held onto Kili even more firmly, he had no idea what his crazy band did this time.

“You’re finally here!” Tauriel gasped and hugged both of them.

“Tauriel?” Kili smiled surprised.

“I’m glad you came together!” Tauriel guided them both pulling on Kili’s other hand.

Fili and Kili smiled seeing the whole band, and Legolas, Dori, Nori and Ori there. Kili easily recognised some of Legolas’s and Tauriel’s friends, and there were a few people he did not know, but who greeted Fili eagerly.

“So what’s the occasion?” Kili glanced around as they sat at the long table.

“The new album.” Dain smiled lightly. “On tour we cannot drink, so it’s finally time to celebrate!” He raised his glass.

Several waiters were eagerly placing drinks and snacks around the table, but Kili quickly grabbed a bottle of soda and poured himself a glass. Soon the group was chatting and having fun as if they knew each other for years. Nori and Bofur were drinking like crazy, clearly trying to win a bet against Legolas and Gimli. Tauriel was trying to ditch Dain, who gazed after her with shining lustful eyes, but the girl was stubborn and seemed not interested. Legolas and Gimli were playing a funny game of hard to get, both being mean and snappy at each other, but clearly infatuated. Nori and Bofur were even worse. Nori hissing and biting at Bofur all the time clearly acting like a rabid dog, but Bofur was accepting it all with a reserved kind smile which drove the red head even more crazy and spiteful. Ori on the other hand was amazed with the super star company he found himself in, and with wide eyes he was watching Dwalin’s every move.

Soon the music began playing and the crazy group began venturing into the main zone of the club to dance. With a shy smile Fili asked Kili if he wanted to go, and soon they were alone, well not really alone, but without their friends, embraced tightly and dancing to some crazy music.

“I have a feeling that they were plotting to get us both here, and the get us drunk...” Fili noticed.

“Why would they do that?” Kili felt puzzled.

“Just for the fun of messing with people...” Fili twirled around and grabbed him tightly.

“So basically we’re not drinking!” Kili smirked.

“Let’s go before the karaoke starts... That’s why they like this stupid club...” Fili hissed.

“Why is that bad?” Kili noticed.

“All those crappy singer wannabes...” Fili hissed.

“So just dominate the stage...” Kili smiled at him.

“And sing those crappy songs?” Fili hissed.

“I’ll help you.” Kili assured him.

“Fucking hell...” He held Kili’s hand tightly as they returned to their private room.

“So Karaoke?” Tauriel smirked happily.

“Hell no!!!” Legolas yelled clearly fairly intoxicated. “Don’t let her sing!!!”

“Let the lass have a go!” Gimli supported her. “Red hair always wins!”

“Clearly you had too much to drink dear cousin.” Dain scolded him. “Show the lady respect.”

“And the most important part of the evening!” The DJ announced happily from the main stage. “Anyone, and I mean anyone can come on stage, and sing until the crowd tells you to stop!”

“Yay!” Tauriel smiled happily.

“Is she any good?” Fili whispered to Kili.

“Fucking horrible!” Kili hissed back.

The both felt many eyes and them, and they realised all the others were glaring at them.

“Fili...” Gimli chanted happily.

“Fili...” Dain smirked.

“I think it’s time to show off in front of your new boyfriend...” Gimli noticed and pulled Fili along towards the DJ before Fili could protest to taking part, and before he could protest to calling Kili his boyfriend. Damn that felt good to hear.

“Our first risk takers!” the DJ joked. “Greet the beautiful lady!”

The crowd cheered seeing beautiful Tauriel come on stage. But her brother continued scowling, she showed him a fuck you which made the crowd cheer even more eagerly.

Kili suddenly put his hands on Fili’s ears. “Trust me...” He told him firmly, and as soon as she began singing the crowd’s cheer turned into first consternation then amazement that someone could sing so badly.

“Wow!” Fili gasped. “That was dense...”

Two more people came on stage but each was asked off as soon as they began singing. “Your turn!” Gimli smiled and pushed Fili on stage with Dain pulling on the other side.

“Seems our next contestant isn’t as eager as his friends are eager to listen to him!” the DJ joked as the duo dragged Fili on stage. “Haven’t I see you somewhere?” The DJ looked puzzled. “Anyway! Let the magic begin!”

Fili stood there surprised and not really willing to sign, but the cheering crowd and his friends chanting happily.

“Fine, let’s do this.” He told them confidently into the microphone.

As soon as the first song began playing he confidently held the microphone and just smiled happily hearing one of his own. His friends immediately began cheering, and Kili smiled at him radiantly, so he just began singing.

The crowd was stunned the first moment, then they began chanting enthusiastically. All of them stunned with the quality of what the boy was doing on stage.

“W – O – W!” The DJ chanted happily as the song ended. “Will we test him again?” and the crowd immediately agreed.

The second song started and Fili looked puzzled for a moment, it was normally sang by a woman, but he just began singing. And it was pop, so something he never really liked.

Kili’s eyes shone as he listened to Fili singing such a flirtatious romantic song.

“It seems we’ve got a talent on stage!” The DJ was clearly surprised and happy.

“Another one?” The DJ announced.

“Maybe we can try a duo?” Fili called out and in playful gesture invited Kili onto the stage. “Get your ass up here!”

“Kili?” Tauriel was clearly surprised. “But he doesn’t sing, like ever...” She noticed.

“Seems he will have to start now.” Nori noticed grimly.

Kili was clearly very shy standing on stage. But the real terror stuck him when the DJ gave him the second microphone. “Just close your eyes.” Fili whispered. “Or look at me.”

When the song began Fili nearly gasped. It was one of Erebor’s greatest hits, sang originally by his mother and father. He had no idea if Kili knew the song, but the brunet just nodded to him and smiled.

When Fili began singing, Kili nearly forgot why he was on stage, but he knew the song very well. More than well, so when the tune of Fili’s part ended, on instinct guided by the days when he and Fili were singing, he just began singing. As if it was just the two of them back in Fili’s flat. At first he kept his eyes closed, but then he just gazed at Fili and kept his eyes on him forgetting about the people all around them.

When the music stopped the DJ just glared at them, and for a moment there was only silence, before the crowd went crazy and begged for more.

“Fucking shit he can sing!” Nori gasped amazed.

“Who knew he had it in him!” Tauriel was stunned.

“Last song, so you better make it good.” Fili told the DJ firmly.

“Coming right up!” The DJ saluted and music began playing.

Fili watched Kili’s reaction to the melody and immediately he could tell Kili knew it, he smiled with encouragement and nodded at his brunet. Kili just began singing the first part and Fili joined in at first chance. Kili’s slight more raspy deep voice perfect for the part, and followed by Fili’s well trained smooth voice, they sang it even better than the original version. As soon as they ended the crowd cheered, but the loudest were their friends who were clearly amazed.

“Kid you’re fucking amazing!” Dain told Kili as soon as they walked down from the stage.

As soon as they made it back down Kili immediately reached for Fili’s hand seeking his support and comfort.

“I think our next CD is going to be best ever...” Gimli noticed as they walked back to their private room.

“I really need to talk to them...” The DJ tried to get past security and into the private room.

“Just as I though... Sunken?” The DJ gasped with a huge smile seeing them all. “I’m a huge fan, it was an honour to listen to such a performance.” The man reached for Fili’s hand, but the blond let him have it for just a split second.

“I’m Galion by the way.” He introduced himself. “Good luck with the next CD!” And he rushed out back to his job.

“That’s why I hate fans...” Fili hissed to Kili and passed him the note with the phone number the DJ squeezed into his hand. “Now do you think he wanted professional help, or simply to get laid?” He whispered to him.

“Definitely get laid...” Kili hissed irritated.

“Don’t be jealous... I’m rather busy...” Fili noticed with a kind smile and held his hand firmly. Kili smiled at him and when their eyes met a pure wave of emotion flew between them. “Let’s go home.” Fili told him warmly.

They told their disappointed friends they were leaving.

“Do you think the prancing is finally over?” Nori gasped irritated.

“It’s just beginning...” Gimli noticed wittily and ordered another round of shots.

 


	11. Chapter 11

“I told you, you could sing.” Fili smiled reminding Kili what happened after they came down from the stage. All their friends praised Kili for his singing, and the band laughed they will have to get him to sing for the next album.

“It’s just... I don’t think I could take the stage and the publicity and it all.” He noticed grimly as they sat back on the sofa in Fili’s living room.

“Kili...” Fili gently spoke his name with a shy smile on his lips. He was amazed the only person who could stand by his side on stage, was uninterested in any career or fame.

“Yes Sunshine?” Kili asked with a kind smile.

“You don’t have to be jealous.” Fili took his hand in his own and held on strongly. Kili’s heart beat loudly hearing those words, those words which meant so much.

“I have no right to be jealous...” Kili noticed meekly, still not believing what Fili was suggesting.

“Move in, when I come back from the promotion trip, please move in...” Fili began begging him.

“Why are you insisting so much Sunshine?” Kili spoke in a low voice.

“Because I can’t imagine my life without you here...” Fili told him in a low whisper.

“Sunshine?” Kili’s voice nearly broke down.

“Never doubt in me.” Fili told him, he pulled Kili’s hand to his heart and put it on his chest. “My heart only beats for you.” The way Kili was gazing at him, at first made Fili panic he said the wrong words, but the connection he suddenly felt suggested Kili felt something for him as well....

“I don’t understand... why you would want someone like me...” Kili noticed. “No one ever wanted me...”

“You’re absolutely adorable... fun, witty, charming... I think you’re absolutely amazing, even your over protectiveness and your crude sense of humour...” Fili told him.

“Fili...” Kili gasped deeply. “You’re the one who is perfect. I’m nothing compared to you...” Kili told him.

“That’s another reason why you’re so special...” Fili pulled him much closer and rested their foreheads together.

“Let’s go to bed.” Kili gently told him. “It’s our last night before your trip... I want it as long as possible...”

Fili wrapped his arm around Kili and together they went to rest. “I have no idea how I’ll be able to sleep without you...” Fili gasped as he rested his head next to Kili’s. “Is there anything I can do or say to make you come with me?”

“To America?” Kili felt startled, that would mean using his passport, and the issue of the last name was still there. Having things as they were now, he would never risk losing Fili. “I can’t just leave like that... but the next trip if you’ll still want me...” Kili gently promised hoping the problem would be solved by then, for the first time he regretted not changing his name to Baggins when he had the chance, maybe there was still a chance to fix that mistake.

“Next trip then... Be prepared to answer my phone calls day and night...” Fili told him. “I’ll go crazy over there without you...”

“You’d better eat properly, or I’m not coming for the next trip...” Kili threatened in a low voice.

“Duh, and here I was thinking...” Fili gasped and snuggled closer. “That you’d come and rescue me...”

“Please take good care of yourself...” Kili told him gently.

“Will you be waiting for me?” Fili asked him in a pleading tone.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Kili noticed with a happy smile and slowly he fell asleep in the comfort of the only person in the world he really loved.

“You’re just fucking amazing...” Fili inhaled his scent and followed suit.

In the morning Kili forced Fili to eat a healthy breakfast, he told him he will update the application for US time zone, and what changes he will add and instructed Fili to update as soon as he lands. Later he made sure Fili packed everything. The last minutes were the most difficult, Fili was sitting next to his luggage with a desperate face, clearly the last thing he wanted was to go away. Kili wasn’t doing any better, the idea Fili would be away for nearly three weeks was driving him nuts. He could feel the tears come up to his eyes and ice deep in his heart.

“Kee?” Fili gently whispered and extended his arms towards the brunet.

“Fee...” Kili grabbed onto him desperately. “Next trip I’m coming with you, I won’t be able to handle this... I just wish...”

“Come with me, we could get your passport on the way to the airport, and buy you come clothes on the spot over there...” Fili begged him.

“Fili, I just can’t... Not this time, not without talking to Bilbo... What about my studies? If I skip three weeks...” Kili was sobbing now desperately, deep inside he didn’t give a shit about his studies anymore, and he knew Bilbo would agree anyway, but he couldn’t tell Fili the main reason why.

“I’ll come home to you, Pet...” Fili embraced him tightly.

“I’ll be waiting for you to come home...” Kili sobbed in his arms. “Take good care of yourself Sunshine! Eat please and take photo of every meal and snack using the application, call me whenever possible, text me if you can’t call me...”

“I will, I will...” Fili held onto him, soon they heard the phone ring and the reception informed Fili the taxi was waiting.

Kili came home feeling lost. He wanted to be with Fili so badly. He just went online and did the first thing he had to he checked the memo and its paths online.

‘One hundred million and three hundred thousand (+) likes...’ He texted to Fili quickly seeing the number of times fans clicked the photo.

‘You’re joking?’ Fili texted back.

‘Nope. I think I won the bet with Nori...’ Kili texted back.

‘I had no idea so many people out there were fans of mine...’ Fili replied.

‘Seems you’re the hottest thing around... The girls are going crazy...’ Kili texted back. ‘Don’t read the comments online, or you’ll go bananas.’

‘Roger that. I prefer not to know what they say about me...’ Fili replied. ‘Only your opinion matters...’ He texted back.

‘Do you want to know the worst news?’ Kili asked him.

‘Shoot.’ Fili texted back.

‘Someone filmed that karaoke and put it on YouTube.’ Kili told him.

‘Just me or both of us?’ Fili texted.

‘The whole thing with you and later with me.’ Kili replied. ‘Thank Mahal the lighting was bad and no one should recognise me... Anyway almost fifty million likes so far... and the link already hit face book so it should be more soon...’

‘And here I was trying to avoid publicity...’ Fili noticed.

‘Are you on the plane?’ Kili asked.

‘Boarding soon...’ Fili replied.

‘Remember to turn off your phone... I don’t want you to crash...’ Kili noticed.

‘I know...’ Fili replied. ‘I already miss you...’

‘I miss you too...’ Kili replied. ‘Thank Mahal there is internet in the US as well.’

‘Doesn’t make me feel better...’ Fili replied.

Kili spent the whole day planning and updating the application for Fili, and since then everything blurred into a path of longing and heartbreak. He missed him too much, and even food didn’t taste right, he finally knew what it felt like not to be hungry at all. Bilbo would firmly push food at him, Nori and Ori would watch over him all the time. Dori was simply fawning over him, making sure he got up, he ate and went to university or the shop. He spent his days texting like mad with Fili, calling whenever the time difference gave the chance. But apart from that he would do what he always did, he would stalk Fili online. This time he could really stalk him, the application giving him the exact location where his blond was, the constant contact giving him enough stability to hope the blond would come back to him. Nearly after a week from Fili’s departure Kili finally noticed something strange going around the house.

Frodo was constantly asking when Thorin would come over, but Bilbo was silent on the topic. Kili gazed at his foster father with surprise and he realised Bilbo did not talk about Thorin the last days, Thorin did not come to the shop anymore and obviously something was wrong.

“Bilbo?” Kili asked him gently. “What’s going on?”

Bilbo gazed at his favourite foster child with sadness. “Nothing apparently.” He added in a grim tone. “Sometimes nothing just happens.”

“Did you two break up or have a fight?” Kili asked him gently.

“That’s the real problem, nothing happened. He just stopped calling, he cancelled our last dinner and since then he didn’t reply to any message or phone call.” Bilbo had tears in his eyes. “ I wish I knew what I did wrong... but it seems he just got bored with me...”

“Bilbo?” Kili’s voice broke down seeing Bilbo in tears. The strong cheerful positive Bilbo never cried, he knew everything and always had a solution for everything. But it seemed there was one thing no one had a solution for – heartbreak. Kili embraced him tightly knowing only physical comfort could ease the tears a bit. Bilbo glanced at him surprised and cried on Kili’s shoulders.

“Bilbo?” Ori gazed into the kitchen, and Kili just reached out his hand to the red head. Ori quickly embraced them both and began whispering to Bilbo.

“Dad, it’s okay, we’re here for you. All of us.” Ori told him gently. “Sometimes things don’t always work out as we want them too. But that’s no reason to give up...”

“That was my line...” Bilbo noticed.

“When Nori was in juvenile...” Kili noticed.

“Do you remember how badly beat up he would get over there? How bad it really was?” Ori whispered to him. “But Nori made it because you were there. We all were there for him.”

“Do you remember when we met?” Kili asked him gently.

“Of course I do, you were in hospital then.” Bilbo replied still crying a bit.

“Do you remember the first words you told me?” Kili asked with a gentle smile.

“Christmas is a time for giving, not for taking, but I’m taking you home...” Bilbo smiled at the memory. Those words shocked the fourteen year old Kili so much that he actually let Bilbo take him home.

“Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.” Ori quoted.

“Robert Frost?” Bilbo noticed with a smile.

“As long as you have us, you have a home.” Ori told him. “We’ll stand by your side no matter what happens, because you always had our side as well.”

“We all love you Bilbo.” Kili assured him with a warm smile.

“I love you too boys!” Bilbo smiled despite the tears. “I’m so happy I have all five of you with me.”

“Let’s make something special for dinner.” Ori grinned.

“What are you thinking about?” Kili smiled.

“The only one right dish for dinner when we’re in a deep shit mood...” Ori noticed.

“Chocolate cake!” Kili smiled and began taking out the ingredients.

“Chocolate cake for dinner?” Dori hissed when he noticed what they were cooking. “About time!” He smiled happily.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry but I had the change the rating because of this chapter - So as a warning - It's M rated now and I added a warning for violence. This chapter will be disturbing so if you have a an aversion to bloody scenes, skip and wait for the next one.

Thorin felt by all means dead. After nearly two weeks from when he found out, and he cut contact with Bilbo, he regretted deeply the investigation and knowing. Some things were better left buried in the past, he had no idea if Kili was a danger to Fili in anyway, but just knowing ruined him. Not having Bilbo, not talking to him, not sleeping with him or going out was killing him equally as knowing about the past. He feared Bilbo would see the change in his eyes, that he would read him and find about what he discovered about Kili. He had no idea how to idea with the issues at all. He would call Fili to check up on him, as he always did when the boy went away, but apart from that he was working like a lifeless robot.

He decided that while Fili was away was his only change to face them, to talk with Bilbo and Kili and set things straight. He sent a short message to Bilbo. ‘Come to Fili’s flat with Kili tonight after eight, we need to talk.’

Bilbo gazed at the message surprised, somehow the words felt strange. The idea he wanted to talk with Kili could only mean trouble. Bilbo always trusted his instincts and he had a bad feeling.

“Kili, can we sit down.” Bilbo came to his room and stopped him mid work.

“What’s going on Bilbo?” Kili asked him gently.

“I just got a message from Thorin.” Bilbo passed Kili his phone and encouraged him to read the message. “Is there anything I should know before we go there?” He saw Kili lower his head, clearly there was something going on.

“Tell me everything.” Bilbo gently told him. “No matter what you’ll always be my son.”

“My mom fucked up big time.” Kili told him.

“We already know that...” Bilbo smiled sadly thinking of the files he just had to get sealed.

“This is bigger...” Kili noticed grimly, and took out the folder with his documents.

“I’ve seen all of them.” Bilbo told him gently. “Remember it was me and Gandalf who sealed your files and sorted it all out.”

Kili silently pulled out his birth certificate with the note attached to it. And then he placed a print out of the news about Erebor’s car accident.

“I know the case had been dropped because your supposed father was dead.” Bilbo noticed.

Kili breathed in deeply and pulled out his Erebor album, he opened the booklet and showed Bilbo a photo of the band.

“Isn’t that...” Bilbo suddenly realised.

“Thorin Oakenshield.” Kili added grimly. “Without a beard and with short hair.”

“And that man looks just like ... Fili...” Bilbo noticed.

“Villi Oakenshield.” Kili added grimly.

“The guy who was probably your father?” Bilbo breathed in deeply.

“This was Fili’s mother and father. She was Thorin’s sister.” Kili explained in a low voice.

“This makes things really complicated, especially that you’re still bearing that last name.” Bilbo noticed. “Do you think he found out? And that’s why he cut contact and broke up with me?”

“I have no idea. All the files were sealed.” Kili noticed and began fidgeting. “But when you asked this is the only thing that came to my mind.”

“I’m glad you told me.” Bilbo told him sadly. “But you do not hold any responsibility for your mother’s actions, accusations or mistakes. Take the file in your backpack just in case.”

“Do we have to face him?” Kili asked desperately.

“We have no idea what he wants to talk about. It might not be connected with this at all.” Bilbo noticed gently, and hoped it wasn’t connected because if it was all those years of therapy with Kili might just go to hell.

As they walked to the flat Bilbo premonition was going from bad to tragic. The cold way Thorin greeted them was even worse.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Bilbo decided to deal with the problem head on.

“Are you the son of Melisa Cotton who later changed her name to Oakenshield?” Thorin gazed at Kili.

“So it is about that.” Bilbo decided to lead the conversation. “What do you want?”

“I’d like to do a DNA test, and if it’s negative I’d like you to change your name.” Thorin calmly stated. “And it would be best if you never talk with Fili.”

Kili opened his mouth to say something, but instead tears came up to his eyes.

“What if he can’t keep to that condition?” Bilbo asked in a firm tone.

“I’ll tell Fili what a psycho fan your mother was and what she did to his parents’ marriage.” Thorin told them bluntly.

“Kili I’d like you to go home, I’ll handle this.” Bilbo told his son confidently. “Don’t worry.” He assured him in a calm voice.

Kili just nodded and walked out blinded by tears.

Bilbo gazed at Thorin deeply. “How did you find out?” He asked curtly.

“I got people who can dig up almost anything.” Thorin couldn’t bear to see his lover look at him with so much spite.

“His files were sealed, his past has been a huge burden to him.” Bilbo told Thorin bitterly. “You might have just ruined nearly seven years of therapy.”

“If he’s anything like his crazy mother, he should been locked up!” Thorin hissed. “She was a raging psycho fan who got pregnant and was so delusional she claimed it was Villi who didn’t see the world from my sister! She made their life hell, she nearly ruined their marriage, ever since the whole issue came up they were fighting like never before. And now her spawn had clung to Fili, and I will protect Fili for anyone as insane as she was!” Thorin told him brutally.

“Kili isn’t insane.” Bilbo told him bitterly, and quickly texted Nori to make sure Kili made it safe home. “What he went through would drive any person insane, but he made it out...”

“So tell me what was so bad? What was so bad to explain the way he affixed himself to Fili?” Thorin raised his voice but Bilbo phone interrupted him.

Bilbo saw it was Nori and quickly picked up. “What?” He gasped. “I’ll be right there, call the ambulance!”

“Well it seems your problems have just been solved.” Bilbo told Thorin bitterly and rushed out and he ran back home as fast as he could.

Thorin stood there stunned not comprehending what just happened or why did Bilbo just leave. The word ‘ambulance’ still ringing in his head. He grabbed the keys locked the flat and rushed towards the cafe.

He rang the doorbell and Frodo opened the door, at first he saw a happy smile on the child’s face, but then the boys said “Something happened to Kili...”

“Where are they?” Thorin asked grimly.

“Bathroom.” Fordo replied.

“Go to your room, I’ll come as soon as I find out what happened.” Thorin assured the boy in a calm voice.

When the boy left he approached the bathroom door. The sight he saw was like nothing he had seen before. The floor was covered in blood... all of it. Nori and Bilbo were drenched in it, trying to stop the bleeding.

“You came here to admire you handy work?” Nori hissed seeing him at the doorway.

“Where is the ambulance?” Thorin asked grimly.

“We can’t call the fucking ambulance!” Nori hissed at him and managed to get one hand dressed.

“Why not?” Thorin gazed at him not understanding.

“Welcome to our world, not everything is fucking simple!” Nori told him, as he was fighting with Kili’s second hand. “Shit this one will need stitches!”He noticed grimly.

“I’ll get it.” Bilbo noticed. Soon Nori was stitching the wound and cleaning it and dressing it.

“He lost a lot of blood.” Thorin noticed.

“But his pulse is stable.” Bilbo made sure.

“Where did you learn all that?” Thorin asked Nori with surprise.

“Not that first time I had to do something like this.” Nori hissed at him and gently lifted Kili off the floor. “We’re going to need a blood transfusion, call Dori to get here.”

“Why Dori?” Thorin asked.

“What the fuck are you doing here anyway? Don’t act like you fucking give a shit, because you don’t!” Nori attacked Thorin full on.

“Nori, I’ll talk with him.” Bilbo told him still in shock.

They sat down in the living room, Bilbo’s face was unusually pale and stern. It hurt Thorin a lot to see him like that, but what Bilbo said hurt even more.

“I’d like you to leave and never come back. We don’t want to do any DNA tests, the past should remain in the past.” He told him firmly. “I cannot guarantee Kili will not try to contact Fili, but I will discourage that. I will see to it that he changes his last name as well.”

Thorin gazed at Bilbo’s hands covered in blood, at his blood stained clothes, then his eyes shifted to his eyes full of tears.

“You should take the boy to a hospital.” Thorin told him.

“It’s not your business.” Bilbo replied sternly. “I need to clean the bathroom, you know where the door is.” Bilbo go up and walked to the kitchen feeling numb. He gathered all he needed to clean up the blood, he wiped the tears from his eyes with his bloody sleeve and he had to face the bathroom before Frodo would step in.

Soon Dori rushed in and went straight into Kili’s room, he was carrying a bag with the essential things to do a blood transfusion.

“Is Kili going to be okay?” Frodo asked Thorin as the solemn man finished the short story to get the boy to go to sleep.

“He will.” Thorin said the only correct answer.

“Will you visit more often?” The boy pleaded. “Uncle told me you work a lot, but I’d really like to see more often. Uncle misses you a lot as well.”

“I missed you both too.” Thorin tucked the boy into bed. “Go to sleep little rabbit.”

“Oin I need a favour. Take you medical bag and come over to Bilbo’s there was an accident.” Thorin told him on the phone.

“Give me fifteen minutes!” Oin answered quickly.

When the doorbell rang everyone was startled, and the more so when they realised Thorin was still here.

“What happened?” Oin asked calmly.

“Nothing happened.” Nori lied with ease.

“Kili tried to kill himself.” Thorin told Oin grimly.

“Show me to him.” Oin decided quickly.

“You’re not going anywhere.” Nori stood in the passage towards the bedroom. “I have no idea who you think you are, but you cannot just come here uninvited, stay when asked out and bring more people in.”

“Nori let me pass.” Bilbo’s voice from behind startled them all. Oin took in the way Bilbo looked, the blood on his hands and all over his clothes. “Get me a vodka.” He told Nori in a raspy teary voice.

“How much blood did the boy lose?” Oin asked in a faint voice.

“A lot.” Thorin replied.

“He should be taken to hospital!” Oin looked startled. “Even if you stop the bleeding he will need a blood transfusion!”

“He’s already been taken care of, it’s time you should go.” Nori hissed at them.

“Which attempt was it?” Oin asked in a low voice.

“Fourth.” Bilbo muttered.

“So if you would take him to hospital he would automatically be sent to a psychiatric hospital.” Oin noticed.

“Maybe that’s what is best for him?” Thorin noticed and Nori sent him a deadly glare,

“Last official time he was in a psychiatric ward when it happened.” Bilbo told them grimly. “They told him he wouldn’t be able to come home to us.”

“May I please see him?” Oin spoke in a calm voice.

“Third room on the left.” Bilbo replied and took the glass with vodka from Nori.

Thorin followed Oin into the room. Kili was pale white on the bed, and Dori was sitting next to him with a transfusion pipe joining them.

“What blood type does he have?” Oin asked carefully.

“He’s a B-.” Dori told him.

“And you are?” The doctor asked carefully.

“We’re all 0.” Dori replied. “Only good thing we got from our father.”

“Who did the stitches?” Oin asked carefully.

“Nori.” Dori replied.

“He’s good at it.” Oin commented. “We should take him to the hospital anyway.”

“If we do, Kili will be sent to a psych hospital the moment he’s checked in, and they will never let him out. But the real problem is Frodo not Kili.” Dori slowly explained. “If social services find out about this attempt they will take Frodo away.”

“I’ll arrange everything. He’ll go to private clinic of a friend of mine. No paperwork and no official documents.” Oin told them. “Just proper care, blood transfusions and help.”

“You should agree.” Thorin told Dori slowly.

“His life is still in danger.” Oin told them firmly.

“You should take him then, but no paperwork.” Bilbo told him firmly.

“What would you have done if the situation was more serious?” Thorin asked Bilbo slowly.

“We would call the ambulance then, his life is more important.” Bilbo told him grimly.

“Dad get cleaned up, I’ll go with Kili.” Nori told him. “Ori should be home soon, and then Dori will take the car and go there.”

“Here’s the address.” Oin gave them the card. “Take him Thorin and we should get going as fast as possible.”

Thorin gently lifted Kili and following Oin he carried him to Oin’s car.

“Call Elrond and tell him to wait for us.” Oin instructed Thorin firmly and drove pretty fast.

Nori sat stunned on Kili’s bed, and suddenly he heard a text come in.

‘Why haven’t you replied? Am I boring you?’ Fili asked with a smile.

Nori dialled Fili’s number.

“Hey finally what’s up?” Fili’s warm voice reached him.

“Fili, this is Nori.” Nori told him slowly.

“Nori? Where is Kili? He hasn’t answered in hours!” Fili asked in a less cheerful voice.

“There was an accident, Kili is in hospital.” Nori told him slowly.

“What happened?” He could hear the urgency in Fili’s voice.

“He tried to kill himself.” Nori finally managed to say the truth.

“What? Why? Why would he?” He heard the emotional reaction in Fili.

“It’s complicated.” Nori told him. “I think he had a fight with your uncle about something.”

“I’ll be there as soon as possible.” Fili told him in a firm voice.

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is going to less dramatic ;)

“Fili what do you mean you have to leave right now?” Balin asked in a raised voice, it took a long time to plan the promotion event, even longer to get the whole band to come, but now just after two weeks the lead singer wanted to go back home.

“Kid let’s just do this and have it over with...” Dwalin told him firmly.

“We’ll have to do extra things later, it’s better to just finish...” Bofur added.

“You don’t understand.” Fili’s eyes were suddenly filled with tears. “I just have to get there as soon as possible.”

“What happened?” Dain asked in a low voice.

“Kili’s in hospital...” Fili finally composed himself enough to say something that made sense. “He tried to kill himself...”

“On my...” Balin gasped surprised.

“That certainly means you have to get there as soon as possible.” Bofur noticed in a grim tone. “Take the jet.”

“I’m coming with you!” Dwalin made the call to take care of Fili.

“I’m coming as well.” Bofur added.

“And we’re staying to finish this promotion thingy.” Dain noticed grimly and glanced at shocked Gimli.

\-----

Fili couldn’t sleep on the plane, his thoughts kept venturing towards Kili. What kind of reason would push him so far? Irritation was mixing in his heart with fear. He had no idea what his uncle could say to Kili to push him so far. He nearly bit down his nails, and pulled out all his hair.

They didn’t stop for anything, Fili just had to get to Kili, so immediately he told the taxi driver to get to the hospital.

It was early morning, the sun was slowly rising when he finally got there. He rushed inside and the moment the nurse tried to stop him, Fili showed her just how firm and decisive he could be. He finally managed to breath in deeply when he took Kili’s hand into his own. His heart nearly broke when he saw the fresh bandages and the blood bag hanging next to him. Kili was so pale and lifeless.

“Fili?” Bilbo’s voice gently startled him.

“Bilbo what happened? I came as soon as I could...” Fili grabbed the smaller man and hugged him.

“Fili we need to talk.” Thorin appeared in the doorway. “You should be in America.”

“No, I should have never left him.” Fili gazed at the brunet with emotion. “I can’t go anywhere now.”

“He won’t wake up.” Bilbo gently told him. “He’s heavily sedated.”

“Why?” Fili’s eyes went narrow.

“He got a panic attack when he woke up, and he tried to run away.” Thorin told him.

“What the hell did you do to him?” The way Fili was glaring at Thorin with so much hate and strength he shocked his uncle.

“Come on.” Thorin led him towards an empty room.

“So?” Fili insisted.

“There are some thing which should stay in the past.” Bilbo told him slowly. “But you’re uncle decided to dig them up and he didn’t like what he found and confronted Kili about it.”

“About what?” Fili’s eyes went cold.

“About who his mother was.” Bilbo told him slowly.

“What does that bitch have to do with anything?” Fili glared at them.

“You know about her?” Thorin asked surprised.

“Only a bit, but she was a terrible mother.” Fili told him.

“Not only that. She was a unstable person.” Thorin told him slowly. “And she was a psycho fan of Erebor.”

“What do you mean?” Fili asked surprised.

“She claimed Kili’s father was a member of the band.” Bilbo told him trying to avoid the truth.

“She accused your father of being Kili’s father.” Thorin clarified.

“What?” Fili was totally surprised.

“She filed a case in court, but the motion fell when your parents died.” Thorin told him.

“Why didn’t you tell me about the court case?” Fili asked in a low voice.

“You were a child, and I always thought it would stay in the past.” Thorin told him. “The motion fell, our lawyers handled everything.”

“Then why did you come back to this?” Fili spoke bitterly.

“I was wondering what happened to him.” Thorin told him slowly. “So Gloin investigated it again for me.”

“And you just had to go and confront Kili about it! After all he’s been through! After all the suicide attempts and self inflicted injuries? After the hell his mother gave him? What the fuck did you tell him?” Fili hissed at his uncle.

“You knew?” Thorin was surprised.

“Of course I knew!” Fili told him grimly. “Let me guess, you probably accused him of being a psycho fan and told him to stay away from me? And he was probably too scared to tell me about what his mother did and he felt trapped... And there was only one way out...” Fili felt tears come up to his eyes. “I almost lost him forever because of you!” Fili’s voice was full of rage.

“I know you feel for him deeply, but you must consider he needs psychiatric treatment, maybe even psychiatric hospital care. He’s not only a psycho fan, he’s a danger to himself.” Thorin told him slowly.

“Fuck you!” Fili yelled at him and rushed out to go back to Kili’s bedside.

He sat on the edge of the bed and gently traced Kili’ face with his finger tips. Nothing anybody would say, would make him change his mind. He loved Kili more than anybody ever, and it didn’t matter what his mother did or didn’t do.

“Good morning Fili.” Oin walked in.

“Could you please stop giving him sedatives?” Fili asked.

“Last time when he woke up he reacted violently...” Oin told him.

“I’ll be able to keep him calm.” Fili assured him. “Just do it.”

“Fine.” Oin stopped one of the bags. “He gave us a very hard time at night, we almost lost him. Nori did a great job stitching him and stopping the bleeding, but he lost lots of blood.”

“Leave me with him please.” Fili told him in a low voice.

“As you wish.” Oin walked out.

“Is he in there?” Thorin asked him.

“You did enough, let the kid stay with him.” Oin told him grimly.

Bilbo sat in front of the room desperate and lost, but Thorin didn’t have the courage to talk with him. He fucked up big time, and he had no idea how to deal with the mess. He lost Bilbo and Fili at one go, and it almost cost Kili his life.

\-----

Dwalin and Bofur arrived at the cafe just to see a note that it was closed. They rang the doorbell and soon Ori opened.

“Come in.” Dori told them and guided them into the living room.

“What the fuck happened?” Bofur asked as the five of them sat down.

“Lots of shit.” Nori hissed.

“Start from the beginning.” Dwalin noticed sternly.

\------

Kili began stirring around noon, at first he had no idea where he was, but he felt Fili hold his hand.

“Hey Pet...” Fili told him slowly.

“Hi Sunshine...” Kili smiled feeling hazy.

“How are you feeling?” Fili gently asked taking his hand closer.

“Weak...” Kili complained.

“Do you know where you are?” Fili asked him slowly.

“In a hospital?” Kili hissed and looked around.

“Do you remember why you are here?” Fili asked him slowly.

“Aren’t you suppose to be in America?” Kili suddenly asked, Kili gazed at himself in panic, and seeing the bandaged hands he remembered everything. “I need to get out...” He began panicking, but Fili firmly wrapped his arms around him.

“Calm down, you’re not going anywhere...” Fili firmly told him. “Don’t run away from me...”

“You don’t understand...” Kili began sobbing.

“Make me understand.” Fili told him gently.

“If I tell you, you’ll hate me and you’ll leave me...” Kili cried desperately in his arms.

“You played no part in what your mother did to my father.” Fili told him firmly.

“You know?” Kili stopped fighting the embrace.

“I know. Uncle told me when I arrived.” Fili told him gently. “And I don’t hate you, I will never hate you.”

“You don’t hate me?” Kili asked slowly.

“You silly stubborn little goat...” Fili smiled at him. “You’re my Pet, you promised to wait for me.”

“I’m sorry... I...” Kili sobbed even worse.

“I know, you felt you didn’t have any other option.” Fili noticed gently. “I understand. I really do.”

“You’re not mad at me?” Kili asked gently and gazed into Fili’s deep blue eyes.

“I’m mad you almost took away a lifetime of happiness from both of us.” Fili gently wiped off a tear from Kili’s face. “I can’t live without you. If you died, I would have killed myself as well.”

“Fili you can’t be saying that seriously...” Kili gasped stunned with what he heard. “You’re much too precious... you’re so special and so talented...”

“What good is that if the love of my life isn’t next to me?” Fili told him slowly.

“Fili?” Kili’s eyes were wide open and full of awe.

“Yes love?” Fili gazed into his eyes with all the love he had in his heart.

“You really don’t want to leave me?” Kili gasped in a whisper.

“Never, ever. There is nothing anyone could say or do to make me change my feelings about you.” Fili told him slowly and cupped his face.

“You’re the most amazing person in the world.” Kili gasped just before their lips met for the first time.

“Nope... you’re the most amazing person in the world.” Fili smirked and pressed their lips firmly together, and brought Kili as close as possible.

“I love you...” Kili gasped when their lips parted for a second.

“I love you too Pet.” Fili smiled happily and embraced him.

“I’m hungry...” Kili complained.

“Once we get home I’ll make you something delicious.” Fili proposed.

“You’ll try to cook?” Kili smiled.

“I’ll do anything for you.” Fili smiled and gently kissed Kili’s cheek. Kili snuggled into his arms with content and soon fell asleep.

Fili rested his head against the pillow and soon he drifted away, after nearly thirty hours without sleep.

Fili awoke because he felt Kili move in his arms.

“Hey...” He told Bilbo who was patiently sitting by the bed.

“Hi.” Bilbo whispered to him gently.

“Could you please call Oin please?” Fili asked him. “I’d like to take Kili home.”

“He already said we can take him home, he’s stable physically.” Bilbo told him. “I’m not sure about mentally.”

“He’s going to be fine.” Fili told him.

“Sunshine?” Kili whispered.

“I’m here...” Fili whispered into his ear.

“Don’t leave me...” Kili gasped ad held onto him tightly.

“Never Pet.” Fili told him. “Are you strong enough or would you like to sleep more?”

“Home.” Kili whispered.

“Bilbo could you handle the paperwork?” Fili asked him.

“No paperwork needed.” Bilbo assured him.

“Let’s go then.” Fili gently shifted Kili. He wrapped him in a blanket and lifted him. “Are you here by car?” He asked Bilbo.

“No, I came in with Oin.” Bilbo explained.

“Call in a taxi then.” Fili told him slowly.

As soon as they left the door Kili wrapped his arms around Fili’s neck and snuggled into his arms. He trembled when he saw Thorin, but Fili did not stop, he just glared at his uncle and went into the lobby.

 


	14. Chapter 14

When they arrived home Fili called Balin to tell him about the situation, he wrapped Kili in another blanket and put him on the sofa. But before he could start making something to eat, they heard a doorbell.

“We brought some dinner.” Nori walked in confidently with a bag.

“Thanks.” Fili told him and took it into the kitchen and put a bit portion onto a plate and took a fork.

“I hope you’re hungry, because I have no idea what this is...” Fili told Kili with a smirk as he sat next to him.

“Risotto.” Kili told him.

“Who cares...” Fili put a portion onto the fork and shoved it at Kili. Nori gazed at them surprised, but he did not dare comment the unusual feeding behaviour, he just glared as Fili fed Kili and ate himself from time to time.

“Hey kid are you doing okay?” Bofur soon arrived with Dwalin and Ori.

“Could be better.” Kili noticed grimly as Fili forced him to eat some more.

“Don’t do anything like that ever again.” Dwalin told him.

When the doorbell rang again Fili gasped irritated. “No privacy in my own home...”

“Open up!” The unmistakable female voice greeted him. “Where is he?” She ran inside and the moment she saw Kili she hugged him desperately.

“How did you find out?” Fili asked her.

“Easy.” Tauriel told him. “Elrond is a friend of my dad’s, it was his clinic where Kili was treated.”

She gazed at Kili sternly. “You’ll have to go to therapy again.” She threatened him. “You promised you’d never do anything like that again!” She hissed at him.

“You knew about his problems?” Fili gazed at her surprised.

“He never told you how we met?” She asked gazing at him seriously. She slowly took off all the fancy bracelets from her wrists, and placed them on the coffee table. Then she extended her hands towards them showing the two symmetrical scars.

“We met in a suicide support group. It’s a form of group therapy.” She explained slowly.

“Why did you...?” Bofur asked.

“That’s rather personal.” Tauriel told him bluntly. “Will you keep an eye on him day and night?” She asked Fili in a low voice.

“I’m not letting him out of my sight.” Fili assured her.

“I say let’s order some pizza and watch a good comedy to lighten the mood.” Dwalin noticed.

“Where??? There is no TV here...” Tauriel noticed.

“He has something much better.” Dwalin smiled and guided them to the cinema room.

“Leave the sofa for us.” Fili told them firmly.

“Logical!” Bofur hissed as Fili was carrying Kili into the cinema room.

“I’ll order the pizza.” Nori noticed and pulled out his phone.

Kili snuggled into Fili’s arms and forgetting about the film he just fell asleep again. He woke up smelling pizza, and quickly demanded to be fed. Fili just smirked and gave him anything he wanted.

“So I take it Kili is staying here permanently?” Nori gently asked Fili as the film was ending.

“He promised to move in when I came back, and here I am.” Fili gently replied.

“I’ll bring some of his things tomorrow morning.” Nori told him.

“Do you mind if I come over tomorrow?” Dwalin asked Fili gently.

“Mi casa, su casa.” Fili replied.

“Let’s go home.” Nori pulled Ori towards the door. “Take good care of him or I’ll skin you alive.” Nori threatened Fili.

“Always.” Fili replied curtly.

“I’ll see you around.” Bofur got ready to leave as well.

“Come here Pet...” Fili reached and lifted Kili in his arms. “It’s my turn to take care of you...” He told him gently and kissed his forehead.

“I can’t believe you’re here with me... maybe I’m in heaven after all?” Kili told him sleepily.

“We’ll be in heaven together.”Fili told him and gently placed him on the bed.

“I love you...” Kili whispered.

“Tell me please... tell me all about it?” Fili gently asked and laid down next to him.

“The first time I hear you sing ‘Without you’ I just couldn’t stop listening to your voice.” Kili began talking about the past. “That was like seven years ago, I was already living with Bilbo. I just liked to lock myself in my room and listen to your voice. After sometime I wanted to know what you look like, who you are... But you hate publicity. It was difficult to get any posters with you or anything really. My whole room used to be covered with your posters. I just loved looking at your eyes... as much as I love looking in them now...”

“What happened with the posters?” Fili asked curiously.

“Do you remember that day when you and Thorin came for dinner? After the previous day when you asked me out?” Kili said in a low tone. “I spent the day ripping them all, you can’t even imagine how much it hurt.”

“Did it help?” Fili noticed.

“Nope...” Kili grunted.

“So when did you fall in love with me?” Fili slowly asked.

“Consciously?” Kili gently asked. “Subconsciously I loved you since then. You were always on my mind, any hot guy would be automatically compared with you, and all of them would lose. But consciously, probably since I went to your concert in Manchester three years ago. Tauriel got us tickets and we went there together. I saw you live on stage, and I just lost my heart...”

“Why didn’t you try flirting with me when I began showing up at the cafe?” Fili slowly asked.

“I just... anytime you would look at me I would forget what I wanted to say, I could just stare at you... I was so scared you would think I’m a psycho fan, or a groupie... And that you would hate me then...” Kili confessed.

“Do you remember that day at the restaurant?” Fili asked him gently. “When Tauriel asked for the autograph? I hate when fans come up, I hate when they ask things from me, but when she came back to the table and gave you the CD you were so utterly happy... It made my heart wonder who you were... When I found you at the cafe just two blocks away, I just wanted to come in everyday and see you...”

“There’s nothing special in me...” Kili noticed dully.

“You’re fucking adorable... I love you hair, you eyes... but your smile is simply breathtaking. The way you walk, even your hyperactivity... everything about you is just fascinating... But when I got to know you, when I learn how much you can care about your family, how fun you are and how warm... I just had to surrender my heart.” Fili told him gently.

“So that’s why you came over every day?” Kili asked gently.

“It’s not for the love of coffee and snacks... I though you already realised that when you found about my eating problems... Food does not play any role in my life, it’s a burden.” Fili explained.

“Why didn’t you talk with me more? Or do anything?” Kili gently asked pressing himself into Fili.

“The same as you, I was dead scared.” Fili gently told him.

“Can I ask you a question?” Kili gently told him.

“Ask away... but a question for a question.” Fili gently nudged him and playfully kissed him all over his face.

“Have you ever slept with a fan of yours?” Kili asked.

“Not counting you? No never.” Fili replied. “Kili... If you haven’t noticed I’m rather shy... and ever since I joined the band it was work and more work. I haven’t been in any serious relationship ever. Have you? Have you ever been with someone?”

“No... It’s only been you since I was sixteen.” Kili told him. “My heart was taken.”

“Are you a virgin?” Fili gently asked but Kili avoided his eyes.

“Technically not... although I haven’t been in any relationship.” Kili told him avoiding his eyes.

“What do you mean?” Fili gently asked.

“My third foster home...” Kili spoke in a low tone. “It was really bad over there... I was taken from them because of my first suicide attempt.”

“I’ve never been with anyone either. In high school I was too shy... There was a girl I was dating... but we never got far, somehow I wasn’t really interested.” Fili explained.

“I can’t believe you love me...” Kili gently shifted to lay on Fili’s chest.

“I can’t believe you love me too...” Fili gently whispered. “Promise me two things... Firstly, if there is anything that will ever bother you, about the past or present, just talk to me. Secondly promise me you will never ever hurt yourself.”

“I swear.” Kili told him and snuggled into his neck. “So does this mean I’m officially your boyfriend now?”

“It does.” Fili told him gently. “My dream come true. My whole last CD was written under the huge heartache I was feeling, and now my life is complete.”

“Kiss me...” Kili gazed at him with heat in his eyes, and Fili just smiled and seal their lips together. Every time they kissed it was as if the world stopped. As if the whole universe was reduced to the feeling of being together. Kili replied feverishly into the kiss, he pressed strong onto Fili and ground against him.

“I’m going to lose control if you keep doing things like that...” Fili gasped.

“I finally get to have you... I waited five long years... and I’m not going to wait any longer...” Kili kissed him deeply pushing his tongue into Fili’s mouth. “You taste so divine...”

“Do you remember the first time you fed me?” Fili smiled at him sensually. “And later you just put it in your mouth and I just wish I could kiss you then... And then with the fork... It made me so hard...”

“That’s why I did it... It was so thrilling... My secret stolen touch of your mouth...”Kili whispered sensually. “I wanted to kiss you so badly then... but I thought we were meant to just be friends...”

“I thought so too...” Fili noticed. “I’m glad we both were wrong.”

“So am I!” Kili gently kissed him. “Now I get to kiss you as much as I like...” He kissed him yet again.

“Just don’t get bored...” Fili smiled at him.

“Never!”Kili laughed and kissed him yet again. “I think I’m going to become addicted...”

\-----

Thorin couldn’t sleep the last two nights, everything that happened was like hell. Kili, his instability, his suicide attempt. All the remorse connected with his childhood, connected with the fear for Fili. Then Bilbo and the issue of their broken relationship. Thorin was convinced he and Bilbo were made for each other, but everything that happened built a wall in between them. He loved Bilbo, he truly did, but the whole issue with Kili clouded his reality. He planned to build a life together with Bilbo, raise Frodo with him, spend time with the boys. And he fucked up big time.

The next morning he felt so dull he decided he had to face the mess he made. He drove by the cafe, and walked in surprised to see Dori behind the counter.

“Is Bilbo home?” He asked him trying to stay calm.

“He is, but I’m not sure he’d like to talk to you.” Dori told him slowly. He pulled out his phone and called Bilbo.

“He said you can come up.” Dori told him slowly.

As Thorin was going up the stairs he felt unsure, he had no idea how to talk to Bilbo after everything that happened.

“Would you like some tea or coffee?” Bilbo gently proposed.

“Coffee.” Thorin grumbled.

“So what do I owe the pleasure to?” Bilbo sat down and placed a coffee in front of Thorin.

“I think we need to talk.” Thorin told him.

“I think everything that had to be said, has already been said.” Bilbo noticed.

“Is that all you have to say?” Thorin grimaced.

“Everything is absolutely crystal clear.” Bilbo noticed. “Do you need anything else?” Bilbo spoke in a impassive tone.

“Bilbo... “ Thorin didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry I screwed up.”

“What’s done is done, you can save your apologies. They won’t make a difference.” Bilbo told him stubbornly.

“Bilbo I’m really sorry, I wish we just talked earlier...” Thorin told him.

“Save it. If you finished your coffee you may leave, I have work to do.” Bilbo told him bluntly.

“I love you...” Thorin gasped with emotion feeling tears come to his eyes.

“Well too bad you didn’t love my children as much as I loved you.” Bilbo noticed grimly. “What you did almost cost my favourite child his life... You could have just talked to me.”

“I just overreacted. We had huge problems with his mother and her false accusations.” Thorin told him. “She ruined their marriage, she tried to break their family, and when they died...” Thorin had tears in his eyes.

“She ruined his life as well. You have no idea what kind of things she did to him and how bad it was.” Bilbo slowly told him. “You could have just talked with me. I though you respected me, I though you understood what I was doing with the boys and how hard it was...”

“I’m sorry, I wish I hadn’t...” Thorin tried again.

“You fucking should be sorry, you almost got him killed!” Bilbo exploded. “He never did anything to you... after all the shit people did with him, after what his mother did to him... you have no idea what he had to go trough... you have no idea...”

“Tell me about it...” Thorin practically begged him. “What was so bad you had the files sealed?”

“I can’t... I swore I would never talk to anyone about it... He’s more important to me...” Bilbo told him on the verge of tears. “More important than anyone else. You cannot imagine what it was to meet him in that hospital half dead after his third suicide attempt. You have no idea how it was to teach him to feel safe, to sleep a full night on the bed instead of on the floor... You have no idea how much time it took to make him trust me... So you can shove you sorry up your ass and get the hell out of my house!”

“Bilbo... I’m so sorry...” Thorin gently embraced him and cried as Bilbo wrapped his arms around him and cried with him.

“I thought you loved me... I hoped you would stay in my life and that perhaps we could build a family together...” Bilbo cried desperately. “Why did you have to doubt in me and my boy? He’s such a good kid...”

“I do love you... with all my heart.” Thorin held him close. “Please tell me it’s not too late to make it up... Please tell me how to fix it, I would do anything to fix it...”

“I have no idea...” Bilbo continued to cry as Thorin was gently kissing the tears off his face, as he hid his face in Thorin’s neck.

\-----

Kili woke up feeling so comfortable and lazy like never before. He just loved waking up in Fili’s arms, but the real treat was feeling loved. The way Fili kissed him half of the night, the way he would kiss him in his sleep. The way he held onto him.

“Hey Sunshine...” Kili gently woke him up with a kiss.

“Hi Lover Boy...” Fili smiled happily and kissed him back. “So what are we doing today?”

“I’m moving in.” Kili told him firmly.

“And then what?” Fili asked with a lazy smile.

“I’m ordering more shopping, we need more food if I’m going to live here.” Kili told him with a smile.

“Anything else?” Fili asked with a smile.

“You have to sing to me...” Kili kissed him again.

“Are you planning to continue your studies and work at the coffee shop?” Fili asked gently.

“I just got one more year left.” Kili told him. “And I can’t leave Bilbo alone with the shop.”

“He won’t be alone, he’s got Ori, Nori and Dori.” Fili reminded him. “And Frodo.”

“But you know what I mean.” Kili told him.

“Yeah I do.” Fili admitted. “You can work as long as I get to come with you.”

“Always...” Kili admitted. “Do I get to come to work with you as well?”

“I think that’s part of the deal, you’re my personal assistant, nanny, bed warmer and cook. I can’t live without you.” Fili joked. “I want you near, I’m never going away without you, so be prepared to skip some classes and shifts from time to time.”

“I’ll warn Bilbo.” Kili smiled happily.

“Let’s go!” Fili jumped out of bed and pulled Kili out.

“What? Waaaa?” Kili squirmed in the arms of his lover.

“A long hot soothing bath...” Fili smiled and carried Kili towards the bathroom.

“Together?” Kili squirmed in panic.

“Together.” Fili spoke in a firm tone.

“But... I don’t want you to see me...” Kili tried to break free.

“I’m planning to kiss every one and last scar on you, so you better get used to it...” Fili grinned and silenced Kili with a strong kiss. “I love you, and I will not stop just because you got a few marks on you...”

“You’re too much...” Kili smiled and kissed him.

\-------

‘I made an appointment for you at Galadriel’s office at five pm tomorrow. You can take Fili as well, it so happens he knows her as well.’ Tauriel texted Kili as soon as she talked to Galadriel about the newly arisen problems. She still continued to go to therapy, and it was rather hard to hide from her long year therapist how much Tauriel was scared for Kili and what happened to him. The moment Galadriel heard about it, she simply took out her schedule and wrote Kili in. Then from word to word it turned out Kili was dating Fili, one of her former patients as well.

“Just great it turns out we’re both going to therapy tomorrow, you can thank Tauriel for that the next time you see her.” Kili hissed as Fili was drying his hair.

“What therapist?” Fili hissed back.

“Galadriel.” Kili told him slowly. “Tauriel said you know her.”

“Yup, three years of therapy with her, she was... tolerable for a therapist. My previous Mr. Smaug was terrifying.” Fili told him slowly.

“When did you stop therapy?” Kili gazed up to him.

“Like four years ago?” Fili wasn’t really sure.

“I met her four years ago.” Kili told him with a grin. “To think, if you hadn’t stopped going there we might have met four years ago.”

“We still found each other.” Fili forced him to leaned back and kissed him while standing behind him.

“So what are we going to do after we move my stuff?” Kili smiled happily.

“We already know you can sing...” Fili told him and with a smirk he tapped his nose. “But it’s time to find out if my beautiful boyfriend has got other musical talents as well...”

“What do you mean?” Kili made wide terrified eyes.

“You’re sitting in my lap half a day and you’re going to try to play the guitar.” Fili kissed him deeply. “Can we get going?”

After two hours of packing and carrying things to Fili’s car, after a lot of tears and hugs from Bilbo, Kili with a light heart moved in. It felt a bit strange to move out, but being with Fili felt like the only reason in his life, so somehow it was more happy changes than sad changes.

In the afternoon Fili took him to the music room, first he sat with the guitar and sang another huge old Erebor hit. At first Kili sat nervously on the edge of the sofa, but in the second chorus he tried to join in, so when the next part came up Fili just stopped singing which caused Kili to become embarrassed and stop again.

“Come on Pet, you’re singing is really great...” Fili told him. “Why not start from the basics?” Fili gently chanted a practise tune he learnt at music school many years ago. Kili just stared at him.

“Go for it...” Fili smiled, and that happy smile made Kili give up and begin chanting. Half an hour later, and several chants later Fili realised their voices were completely different. Kili’s much lower than his, and much deeper. Fili could easily make high sounds, while Kili could make sounds much lower than Fili could.

“You’ve got a crystal clear voice, but when you sang that karaoke you made it raspy, could you do that again?” Fili gently asked and Kili did. Fili just smiled at him and patted his lap. “Move it Lover boy...”

When Kili finally settled in his lap he gave him the guitar.

“Have you ever learnt music?” Fili gently asked him.

“Nope... School wasn’t my strong point.” Kili hissed at him.

“Don’t worry... The guitar can be played without proper music lessons.” Fili patiently explained and began showing Kili the techniques of playing.

“So it’s just about learning those accords and arranged them into songs?” Kili seemed surprised the system was so easy. “While listening you play it seems so complicated...”

“For me it always was easy. I went to music school and all, but I was too impatient. All the students there needed months to get the idea how the instruments work, while for me it was just days...” Fili complained.

“Did you graduate music school?” Kili asked slowly.

“Nope. When my teachers would try to force me to slow down to the rest of the students, I began rebelling. And after a consultation with uncle and Galadriel we decided it didn’t make sense anymore.” Fili explained. “So you can say I officially failed music school. The only thing they really taught me was singing, I learnt more about playing instruments and music as such from Thorin and his friends.”

“I guess that’s the edge you get from being born into Erebor.” Kili noticed with a smile.

“It certainly does seem so.” Fili kissed him and forced him to try the guitar again. “If you practise you might get good at it.”

“I’ll never be as good as you...” Kili kissed him and snuggled into the warm embrace.

“You never know...” Fili noticed with a shy tender smile.

“Knock knock!” A loud voice startled them.

“In here!” Fili yelled. “You still have the keys?”

“Of course I do.” Dwalin told him with a smile. He came in and sat down after pulling a guitar from a stand. He gazed at the couple with a tender smile. “So what are you playing? And who is singing?”

Kili hesitantly got out of Fili’s lap just to sit right next to him and hugged him.

“Anything is fine...” Fili told Dwalin and as soon as the older man began playing he joined in.

Kili just crossed his brows. “I don’t know this...”

“It’s one of our new songs, for the next album.” Fili told him. After a moment of playing he finally began singing, his voice so tender and emotional Kili felt his heart tremble.

“Beautiful...” Kili gasped with tears in his eyes.

“One of my last sad ones.” Fili told him and kissed him.

“Next album will be mostly happy songs?” Kili asked gently.

“Mostly.” Dwalin agreed. “We’ll put some of that emotional crap as well, our fans seem to love it.”

“What about some happy songs?” Kili asked with a smile.

“If we continue singing so much, I’ll start writing some soon.” Fili assured him.

“I’d really like that.” Kili smiled. “If you feel like you need to be alone or anything just tell me, I can always go to work...” He assured Fili not wanting to be a burden.

“It’s more like I’ll need you there to help me.” Fili told him with a smile.

“How could I help you? I have no idea about music...” Kili gasped irritated.

“You’re my inspiration...” Fili gently kissed his nose and smiled.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My second most difficult chapter to write ;) Please comment ;)

Thorin began courting Bilbo again, as gently and as tactfully as possible. The smaller man giving him grim smiles and no hope, accepted his presence and accepted his gifts. He would still melt under his touch, he would still arch under him and gasp with delight. He would go out with him, or let him into his flat. But the balance was delicate to say the least. Thorin feared any word would push Bilbo away, he was so scared something would change and he would lose Bilbo, and that though was terrifying. As terrifying his relation with Fili had now become. He hadn’t seen him since that day in hospital, Fili did not return any phone calls or messages. The cold blue eyes gazing at him then, made Thorin realise just how much Fili loved the boy. He had no idea how to even attempt to fix their relations.

“We should go and talk to them tomorrow evening.” Bilbo suddenly told him, as they were lying in bed after a very long night of trying reconcile.

“Why tomorrow?” Thorin asked slowly.

“They have a visit at Galadriel tomorrow afternoon.” Bilbo told him. “If our meeting goes bad, we’ll appoint a second one with her as mediator.”

Thorin’s fingers gently cupped Bilbo’s face. “Do you think there is a chance to fix this?”

“I’m not sure. But we must try.” Bilbo told him. “Otherwise there is no hope for anything.”

\------

“So dear boys please sit down.” Galadriel greeted them as if they had talked just days ago and not years. “Tell me from the beginning, how did you met and what brought you together.” She gently took in the proximity they were sitting, how they were holding hands. She couldn’t help but smile as Kili didn’t seem to mind the touch, and considering his past that was very surprising. As the boys slowly told her about their first meeting, about the long heartbreak, she wasn’t very surprised. She knew them both very well, and this relationship was going to be difficult to manage. And she would have to manage them.

“So tell me Kili, would you like to talk about the last events alone or would you like Fili to be here?” She asked as gently as possible.

“Why do you ask?” Kili came even closer to Fili and leaned into him. She just smiled seeing the physical side of their relations.

“This would not be standard couple therapy, but individual therapy. Most people would rather talk about such in-depth issues alone.” Galadriel noticed. “So, would you like him to be here? Or would you like to talk alone with me?”

“I want him to stay. He knows everything anyway. We have no secrets.” Kili told her gazing at Fili with so much love, that Galadriel could only smile.

“And to think Bilbo used to be so worried with your locking yourself in your room and listening to Sunken.” Galadriel joked lightly. “So let’s start, tell me about what you though when Thorin confronted you, and what he said to you.”

And Kili told her about finding out about what his mother did, she listen with crossed brows as he revealed more details about the past, and how the conversation with Thorin went. And how it all ended.

“We need to set some rules for this relationship.” Galadriel told them after a moment of thought. “Rule number one, you have to keep each other up, and never bring each other down.”

“What do you mean by that?” Fili asked slowly, so far most of the meeting was focused on Kili.

“I mean, you both have destructive tendencies, you both have self confidence issues and tend to become depressed. You have to keep each other up, so if someone is sad it’s the other’s duty to help him up again, but you cannot bring the other down or worsen the state. Now you might say it is easy, but in every relationships there are fights and there is tension. If you fall out for any reason, stop the conversation, give yourself time to refocus and gain a bit of distance and then talk again, to bring each other up, never down.” She told them firmly. “Second rule, two hours a day separately, but not alone. That rules especially goes to Kili, you have to promise me to spend some time a day away from each other, to keep balance. Have different interests, have your own friends, spend time with your family.”

“That will be hard.” Fili noticed grimly.

“You might think so now, but believe me both of you need personal space and that will guarantee it.” She told him firmly. “Last rule, no matter how much you’re mad at each other always make sure someone knows you two fell out.” She spoke directly to Kili. “I think you already know about the problem, so his eating is the same thing as you did to yourself. If you two have a fight, he’ll most likely stop eating as the first visible sign something is wrong, so if you truly love him you will make sure he’s not alone then.”

“I will always take care of him.” Kili gazed at Fili with watery eyes.

“Good.” Galadriel smiled gently. “Now do you want my honest opinion about all this?” She asked with a smirk, and when they nodded she began speaking. “You two are made for each other, and I hope you will make each other very happy because you both deserve to finally be happy. I would suggest gently talking to Thorin, telling him how you both feel about what happened, but hold onto each other for support.” She paused for a moment. “I have only one last question.” She told them and after another pause she asked. “How has your intimate relationship been developing?”

Both of them blushed hearing those words, Kili looked down feeling miserable.

“Slow.” Fili admitted.

“Good, take it slow. You both will have problems with that issue, but just because you’re together it doesn’t mean you have to jump at everything at the beginning.” She reassured them with a smile. “Support each other, go slow, test what makes you both feel comfortable and how far you can go. Slowly with time you will get there, but be gentle and sensitive, especially you Fili.”

Kili gazed at her surprised with her kind words, and grabbed Fili’s hand even stronger.

“I’ll see you both in three days, at three pm.” She told them the next appointment. “We’ll do a bit of couple’s therapy, and then maybe a few sessions individually, and we’ll see where that leads us.”

“Thank you.” Fili smiled at her radiantly and help Kili up.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” He gently asked Kili as they left the building.

\-----

"Please sit down." Bilbo told them gently as both of the boys came to the meeting with Thorin.

"How was the meeting with Galadriel?" Bilbo gently asked taking in the way the boys were sitting closely and holding onto each other.

"It went well." Kili told him slowly.

"We talked about how to deal with all this." Fili told him slowly not facing Thorin.

"We wanted to talk with you both." Bilbo told them. "We talked a lot about what happened, and we decided to work on our relations." Bilbo told them grimly. "And since you're my son, and you are going to be together, we need to work on the relations between all four of us. I was even considering family therapy with Galadriel."

"That's a good idea." Kili gently agreed, holding onto Fili's hand tightly.

"Galadriel told us we should tell you how we feel." Kili told him trying not to look at Thorin. "I want to do the DNA and settle this once and forever." He told Thorin suddenly. "I want to forget about this, once we make sure her accusations were false we can put this all behind us."

"What if they weren't false?" Bilbo asked suddenly. "We must take into consideration there is a tiny chance the result might be positive, what then?" They all gazed at him surprised.

"That would change everything." Fili noticed sadly.

"I have no idea what then." Thorin admitted.

"My mother was a fucking slut and bitch." Kili gasped irritated.”My father could as well be any random guy on the planet. Not one word she said was ever true or sane!” Fili grabbed him and brought him closer to make him calm down.

“If you want to do the tests we can.” Bilbo told him gently. “But we might as well put it in the past as it is.”

“And wait till it comes back again after years to come?” Fili asked. “Let’s sort it all out, and then start anew.”

“Fine.” Thorin told them. “I’ll call Oin and set a date.”

“Are you both planning to go to therapy?” Bilbo gently asked them.

“We are.” Kili told him slowly. “Galadriel said we’ll do some therapy together, and some individually.”

“That’s great.” Thorin noticed meekly, unsure of what to say.

\------

The days went by fast, for Kili and Fili it felt like their time together was never enough, and any minute apart was too long. Kili would take his normal morning shifts when he finally felt better, and he would go his studies. Fili would use that time to compose and play music, or go to meeting with Balin and his band.

When the day of the blood tests finally came Kili felt relieved it was finally over, and they were just days away from the last piece of the puzzle. So when after a few days they got a call to meet at the clinic Kili felt happy it was going to finally be over.

When they arrived with Bilbo, Thorin was already waiting for them. To their surprise Oin was soon joined by Elrond and Galadriel, both of whom had sour faces and tones of documents on the table.

Bilbo had a bad premonition. “So do you have the results?” He asked surprised. Kili was just glancing around impatiently and Fili was also silent.

“We have the blood test results, but we do not comprehend them.” Elrond told them calmly.

“What do you mean?” Thorin grimaced.

Elrond took a deep breath. Oin was trying to look away and Galadriel was clenching her fists.

“The results were positive.” Elrond told him slowly.

“What do you mean positive?” Fili gasped surprised.

“So they are half brothers? His mother was telling the truth?” Thorin yelped surprised.

“No.” Elrond told him calmly. “They are not half brothers.” He said in a hollow voice. “They are brothers. From one mother and one father.”

“How is that possible?” Bilbo gasped surprised.

“We compared your blood samples with both boys.” Oin told him slowly. “And both boys are your relatives.”

“What does that mean?” Kili hissed impatiently.

“Desire Durin was your mother, and Villi Oakenshield was your father.” Elrond explained the results.

“How was that possible?” Thorin gasped. “My sister was never pregnant again...”

“Your sister had tremendous problems getting pregnant the first time.” Elrond began speaking impassively. “There is only one explanation, and neither of us like it.”

“What kind of explanation?” Thorin gasped.

“Twenty six years ago your sister was one of my first patients who decided to try in vitro as a way of conception.” Elrond explained. “She managed to hold the pregnancy and gave birth to healthy child, Fili.”

“I was created in a laboratory?” Fili gasped.

“How did Melisa Cotton get her hands on my sister’s and her husband’s DNA?” Thorin made a scowl.

“She was an employee of our clinic for five months nearly twenty four years ago.” Elrond made a grim face. “She was fired because she accessed confidential information about our patients.”

“Could she get her hands on the fertility bank?” Bilbo asked surprised.

“We believe she accessed the information to obtain Villi’s genetic material, but because she herself was infertile she illegally used both Villi’s and Desire’s genetic material.” Galadriel calmly explained.

“So her accusations were in fact partially true...” Thorin felt a heavy burden land on his shoulders.

“So your former employee stole genetic material from you fertility bank, used it with mal intent to blackmail Villi and the band, and later let the boy suffer abuse and hardships.” Bilbo summed up. “In what way are you planning to compensate to all the parties involved?”

“We would appreciate keeping this issue private, without any trail or publicity.” Elrond stressed their intentions.

“So you want to swipe this under the rug?” Fili gasped irritated. Somehow the information that Kili was in fact his blood brother did not reach him yet.

“No, we want to reconcile and compensate you justly.” Elrond stressed. “I have consulted one of my lawyers and our first proposition is one hundred million to each boy, and lifelong medical treatment in any of our clinics for them and their closest family members.”

“I will consult this with my lawyer.” Thorin gasped.

“Are you trying to buy our silence?” Bilbo gently asked.

“It’s not about buying.” Elrond noticed. “It’s about compensating to our mutual benefit.”

“Kili?” Bilbo gazed at the very silent and pale boy.

“It’s not possible... It’s just not possible...” Kili whispered and clung to Fili desperately. Fili embraced him and pulled him into his arms.

“Boys... This changes a lot between you two as well.” Bilbo noticed trying to be as gentle as possible.

“Like fuck it does!” Fili hissed and grabbed Kili even closer.

“As long as we keep this between us, it doesn’t mean things have to change?” Fili noticed after a moment.

“What you are suggesting is in fact illegal.” Elrond told them slowly.

“But if we sign an agreement, you will not be able to disclose such information.” Fili noticed firmly. “I don’t give a fuck about all the money in the world, all that matters is Kili.” Kili rested his head on Fili’s shoulder and feeling panicked he nearly sat in Fili’s lap.

“That is correct.”Elrond noticed sternly.

“Boys, we’ll talk about this tomorrow at noon.” Galadriel calmly told them. “But even now you must remember our first rule we talked about. Always up, not down.”

“I want to go home...” Kili sobbed clinging to Fili’s chest.

“Don’t worry Pet, not even this will separate us.” He gently kissed his forehead and carried him out of the room.

 


	16. Chapter 16

“Bilbo, I have no idea what to do.” Thorin rested his head against Bilbo’s pillow.

“Sign the agreement and let the boys live their lives together.” Bilbo told him grimly. “If you let this information come out, their lives will be ruined.”

“How can I just stand back knowing they are true brothers?” Thorin gasped.

“Some people consider that is between us as immoral.” Bilbo noticed sternly. “They love each other, they had no idea about it when they met and fell in love. I understand your point of view, but I cannot agree to separating them. Kili is too fragile for that, and Fili gives him strength.”

“So you want me to keep a blind eye to the fact that my own nephews are fucking each other?” Thorin hissed.

“No. Stop thinking about Kili being your nephew. He’s only your nephew genetically, but you never loved him or raised him. By all legal purposes he’s not your nephew, by agreeing to sign the agreement you will irrevocably state that he is not your nephew.” Bilbo noticed. “To the world he’ll forever be your nephew’s boyfriend.”

“This is just so fucked up...” Thorin gasped terrified.

“Imagine how they must feel now. Imagine how difficult it will be to deal with this issue, especially if you consider their past psychological problems.” Bilbo noticed. “They will need our support, no matter what path they choose, if they choose to be together or not.”

\-----

“Fili it’s simply not possible...” Kili sobbed desperately in Fili’s arms. “Tell me it’s not true. Tell me it’s not true...”

“It’s not true...” Fili told him easily. “I don’t believe it to be true.”

“Promise you will never leave me...” Kili held onto Fili’s shirt desperately.

“Kili, we’re always going to be together.” Fili assured him. “No one will ever know about those crazy things, no one will never know...”

“Are you sure?” Kili asked in a begging tone.

“We will deny anything, and we will never let anyone to do any tests again.” Fili told him firmly. “It’s just going to be you and me, and no one will be able to separate us. And if anyone will try I will not let them!” Fili kissed him desperately.

“I love you so much...” Kili gave into the kiss and ground against Fili.

“Kili, what are you doing?” Fili gasped feeling the urgent sensation.

“I want to feel you...” Kili gasped. “I don’t want to wait with anything... I’m not a virgin anyway, and I’ll never be again.”

“But...” Fili felt surprised, he was ready to wait, he knew what Kili went through was difficult.

“It’s the past, and it’s time to put the past as far away from us as possible.” Kili told him gently. “I want to feel you. I want to be with you in every way possible.”

“It might hurt... you might get scared...” Fili noticed sadly.

“I won’t mind if it hurts... I want to feel you...” Kili spoke in a raspy desperate tone.

“Kili...” Fili felt overwhelmed with the pressure Kili was causing on his lap. He ground impatiently against him and demanded more kisses.

“Are you sure?” Fili asked gently, feeling that Kili’s actions were driving him crazy. Kili just smiled and pressed another sensual kiss to Fili’s lips.

“I’m ready. I need this.” Kili told him and began ripping Fili’s t-shirt off.

“I want you so much...” Fili gasped feeling the attention Kili was giving his body.

“I can feel just how much you want me...” Kili smiled joyfully and kissed him yet again.

“I’m not sure...” Fili gasped feeling suddenly so stupid and inexperienced.

“We’ll have to work it out together...” Kili got up and guided him towards the bedroom.

“Won’t we need...?” Fili asked feeling unsure.

“I got everything...” Kili pulled out a bag from under the bed with a huge smile.

“You’re too much...” Fili kissed him deeply and pushed him onto the bed. In between feverish kisses they tugged on each other’s clothes, and finally had the courage to explore each other’s body.

“You’re so beautiful... If we get several more pounds on you, you’ll be breathtaking...” Kili noticed.

“So I’m not breathtaking...” Fili ground against him.

“Oh but you are... you simply will be even more breathtaking...” Kili smiled and laughed gently mustering the courage to touch Fili in a more intimate way, and the moment he finally did that he was rewarded with a loud yelp.

Fili smiled thrilled they were finally going forward, although the idea he was just about to take his lover was thrilling beyond reason. “I love you...” He whispered as he gently poured some lube onto his fingers.

Kili gasped with delight as he felt those fingers gently made him ready and push into him, and to his surprise it wasn’t painful at all. Deep inside he was hoping it would hurt, but the thrilling feeling was much more fulfilling.

“I want everything from you...” Kili gasped and ground against Fili delighted.

“Are you sure Lover Boy?” Fili smiled sensually and kissed him.

“Now or never...” Kili gasped.

“Music to my ears...” Fili gently embraced Kili and ground against him putting pressure onto that one sensitive spot. “Tell me if it’s okay...”

“Just do it...” Kili pulled him down to kiss him, the movement causing more friction and more pressure.

“You’re fucking adorable...” Fili smiled and with delight pressed in.

Kili at first felt strange to be so full, to be so full of Fili. He gasped the first feeling so strange and uncomfortable, but then the first move made him ecstatic. He loved to be full of Fili. He raised his eyes to meet Fili’s deep blue eyes, and the way Fili’s deep blue eyes were slightly closed with pleasure made him heart melt. It was so delightful to feel his beloved finally be with him as he should be. To be his.

“More... Sunshine give me more...” Kili gasped as the first unpleasant emotion passed.

“Your wish is my command Pet...” Fili smiled and pushed against him.

“I want more...” Kili insisted. “Fuck me like you love me... fuck me like you mean it...”

“I’ve been dreaming about this so long that I can’t just rush it...” Fili smiled and lazily ground against him. “I love you so much...” He kissed him deeply and felt Kili’s arm go around his neck.

“I love you too...” Kili gasped as all the emotions stirred in him, as he felt himself slipping away from reality, filled with the only person he loved. Filled with Fili.

As they lay breathless and tangled, soiled with their cum and sweat. Kili finally felt at peace.

“It really doesn’t matter.” He suddenly noticed. “It doesn’t matter if they think this is right or wrong, if they know or don’t know.”

“What matters is this...” Fili put his hand on Kili’s heart. “No matter how we look at it, we were meant for each other.”

“Forever.” Fili embraced him even tighter.

“Now that we settled the sex issue, would you mind if we actually made it into a habit?” Kili asked lazily touching Fili’s chest.

“Only on several conditions.” Fili began laughing. “First you spoil me. Secondly I spoil you. Thirdly we spoil each other.”

“Fourthly we sing together.” Kili added. “Even if I’m fucking horrible.”

“You’re fucking amazing, not horrible.” Fili noticed. “Fifthly we get married before the paperwork comes in.”

“What?” Kili gasped surprised.

“We’re officially not brothers, so let’s just get in the car, and find the first place where we can get married.” Fili told him. “I’m planning to spend the rest of my life with you anyway, and I just want to be with you forever.”

“Fine.” Kili sounded sure. “Let’s do it. Will you carry my name or you mine?”

“Yours.” Fili smiled. “I always wanted to be able to use the name Oakenshield but I never had the guts to tell it to uncle and star the paperwork.”

“Great, are we going to invite anybody?” Kili asked.

“Nope. Just you and me and we need two witnesses.” Fili told him.

“Tauriel and Legolas.” Kili immediately told him.

“Seems we have a plan.” Fili kissed him deeply.

\------

“What the hell are those two thinking?”Tauriel asked her brother impatiently.

“No idea.” Legolas noticed dully as they were driving to some boring court house.

“Is this the place?” Tauriel hissed looked at the official building.

“The GPS says so.” Legolas parked the car and together they went inside.

“Room 213.” Tauriel read the text message again.

“Hey what’s up?” Legolas asked as they walked in and saw an official looking lady behind a huge desk. Fili and Kili were sitting on chairs in front of her.

“Take a seat.” The woman instructed them. “As the witnesses are here we may begin.”

“Witnesses?” Tauriel gasped with understanding. “Why don’t you want to invite your families?”

“We want to have it over with.” Kili told her firmly.

“Shall we begin?” The woman asked again.

“Please commence.” Fili told her.

“Do you Fili Durin take this man to be your lawfully wedded spouse?” The woman asked in an official tone.

“I do.” Fili calmly told her.

“Do you Kili Oakenshield take this man to be your lawfully wedded spouse?” She asked Kili in the same official tone.

“I do.” Kili informed her.

“I herby announce your partnership legally fulfilled, you may exchange personal vows if you chose so.” The woman calmly told them.

Fili just smiled at Kili and took his hand. “Forever.” He told him in a calm voice.

“Forever.” Kili replied with a shy smile.

“Please sign here.” The magistrate passed them some official documents. “Witnesses please sign here.” She told Tauriel and Legolas.

“So what now?” Legolas unsure of the situation.

“We go home.” Fili grabbed Kili and walking hand in hand and feeling happier than ever they left the office.

“First you both have some explaining to do.” Tauriel mumbled and followed them.

As they arrived at Fili’s flat and sat together, neither Fili nor Kili had an idea how to explain everything to the siblings. Explain without talking about the blood tests.

“So why didn’t you invite the family?” Tauriel asked again.

“It’s better this way.” Kili slowly told her.

“What’s so bad about you two getting married that you wanted to keep it a secret?” Tauriel noticed and kept asking.

“We just want to keep this private.” Fili told her.

“I thought we could trust you.” Kili slowly told her.

“You can, but I’m just wondering...” Tauriel told them. “Why get married in the first place, if you want to hide it?”

“How to explain this...” Kili gasped feeling unsure. “We just felt like we need to be permanently connected.”

“Do you know that getting married won’t solve any problems you both might be running away from?” Legolas gently noticed.

“We’re aware. The same as any relationship it needs patience and care.” Fili told him. “What we did was for us, we felt the deep need to do it.”

“But why keep it from those close to you?” Tauriel demanded again.

“It’s their business why.” Legolas stopped her questions. “And I believe we can respect their wish of keeping it private.” He scolded her.

“Of course I will respect their wish, but I just wanted to understand.” Tauriel noticed.

“There’s nothing we can do anyway, so I just want to assure you both, no matter what happens you can both count on us. And I seriously mean no matter what.” Legolas assured them warmly.

“So what now?” Tauriel asked with a shy smile.

“What do you mean what? We’re going to the best restaurant in town to celebrate!” Legolas smiled and pulled out his phone to book them a table.

\------

For Fili the feeling that Kili is his spouse hit him when they went shopping for the first time. Kili thinking the old way tried to balance the shopping and chose only what necessary, but the spoilt and rich Fili had no such reservation. Before Kili could even name what he wanted Fili would pay for it, and later he kept joking it was his job as his husband to support his wife. Kili would just snap at him that spending so much money on trivial things Fili would go bankrupt soon and Kili should take over making financial decisions.

But the way they held hands felt different, they felt more connected, they felt at peace. Buying two simple identical white gold rings added to the connection. Gazing at the joint hand with the rings made them feel happy.

\----

Thorin met with Gloin with a heavy heart. The old lawyer told him about the situation. He explained that making this public would cause huge damage to both boys, but he insisted on a higher compensation. Thorin simply passed all negotiations to him. Keeping this private was top priority and all people involved would have to sign a non disclosure agreement. Gloin had seven meetings with the hospital lawyers before a final draft was created, but the real problem proved to get both boys to sign it. Fili and Kili used any excuse possible not to show up, starting from work to studies.

Finally Thorin got Bilbo to pack Kili and Fili into a car and come to the hospital.

"So do you agree to this terms?" Gloin asked them firmly.

"We just want to reject the whole issue." Fili told him bitterly.

"Let's just sign and have it over with." Kili gently nudged him.

"Fine..." Fili gasped and took a pen. He quickly signed the documents using his new name.

"When did you change your name?" Gloin asked firmly.

"Two weeks ago. I decided it was best to carry my father's name." Fili told him firmly.

"You should have consulted such a decision." Thorin noticed.

"I can make any decision I like." Fili noticed firmly.

"We wanted to have the same name." Kili told them. "This was the easiest way."

"If you say so." Gloin hissed and began making some changes to the documents.

"So, sign here and here." He pointed. "The compensation will be paid to you within two weeks."

"So that's it?" Kili asked with relief.

"That's it." Gloin confirmed.

"Great!" Kili grabbed Fili's hand and with a huge smile pulled Fili out of the room. The hospital lawyers glared at them with strange faces. The idea of an intimate relationship between two related people who just signed a very detailed settlement against the hospital seemed to be puzzling for them.

"So what now?" Kili asked as they finally got out of the hospital.

"Now we need to go for a meeting with Balin." Fili told him. "He's been calling me a bit too often, so probably another stupid promotion thing..."

"Let's go then." Kili gently kissed him and hand in hand they walked to the car.

"Do you think they will ever stop?" Thorin asked Bilbo as they were watching the boys.

"Would you like them to? Would you like them to be unhappy again?" Bilbo gently asked and held his hand. "Let them be. There is nothing you can do about it. To the world they are just boyfriends."

"Who now carry the same name..." Thorin grunted.

"So you think they will claim to be married?" Bilbo gently asked.

"I fear so." Thorin hissed.

"What's bad about that?" Bilbo gently smiled. "No one will question it."

"But I know... and it makes me..." Thorin hissed.

"Disgusted?" Bilbo asked gently.

"...worried." Thorin mumbled.

“And what are you worried about?" Bilbo asked gently.

"That they will get hurt." Thorin told him finally.

"They need our support, not our contempt." Bilbo told him in a stern voice.

 


	17. Chapter 17

"We have been getting a lot more fan mail and offers ever since you did that session for the zoo, and the karaoke come out." Balin told Fili calmly. "We should use it to our advantage."

"What do you mean?" Fili hissed.

"You gained a lot of extra publicity, and despite the short American promotion tour our sales pecked especially on iTunes and internet." Balin stressed. "We got fifty seven offers for interviews for newspapers and magazines, seven serious TV offers, and again Dancing with The stars in US, UK and Australia. I also got a message from Britain's Got Talent that they want a band member to come to the program as a judge, and the name they wanted to hear was really yours."

Fili just sat with his head in his hands, he hated discussions like this.

"We also got some invitations for recording songs with other bands and singers." Balin told him as gently as possible.

"Does he really have to if he doesn't feel like it?" Kili asked Balin gently.

"He doesn't. But it would bring a lot of money, and would benefit the band." Balin told him.

"Give me a list." Kili made the call. "We'll select a few thing from it." He stressed the word few.

"I don't want to..." Fili complained.

"If we have to, I'll go with you." Kili told him.

"That's not a bad idea. He needs more care, so if you take the role of his personal assistant it might not be so bad." Balin gently told Fili with a smile.

"Would you really go to America or Australia with me?" Fili gently asked.

"Of course I would go. I have to make sure you eat healthy, that no one molests you, or sneaks into your bed." Kili laughed gently.

"You do look much better." Balin noticed with a kind smile. "I'm happy you two are getting along so well." The older man gazed at Kili. "Do you know what the band is suggesting?"

"What?" Kili suddenly felt nervous.

"They want you to help out with the next album." Balin told him with a smile. "As long as you don't mind." He gazed at Fili.

"I'd love that." Fili hugged Kili to his chest.

"But I'm a nobody... My singing is nothing special..." Kili gasped surprised.

"Let's make a deal, I'll do ten things from that list, but you have to sing for the next album with me." Fili blackmailed Kili easily.

"I've been getting hundreds of questions about the boy singing in the karaoke, Fili's fans are asking tones of questions. The band loves your singing, so it would be best if you just join in." Balin told him gently.

“Does the band really want me to join?" Kili asked hesitantly.

"Yes they do." Balin smiled. "So first ten promotion things of your choosing and then back to the studio?"

"Seems like we have a deal." Fili grumbled.

\------

Kili gazed at the long list of promotion offers. He was browsing on-line to see what kind of magazines and singers wanted to sing with Fili, and he was crossing out things he though low class. There was no way he would ask Fili to take part in just a half naked photo session for a surfing magazine or cycling magazine. He was tempted to suggest the judge job in Britain's got Talent and American X Factor. He was ready to count those double, since the work load was much bigger than with other tasks. He just wanted to film all the episodes with Fili and he personally loved those kind of shows.

After two days of planning he gave Fili a list of eight things. First on the list were Britain's got talent and American X factor, followed by two TV interviews, two newspaper interviews and two songs sang in cooperation of one pop star and a rap star.

Fili just crossed his brows. "I thought the bet was ten things."

"The first two I counted double." Kili noticed with a smile.

“You want me to go to X Factor and Talent show?” Fili gasped annoyed.

“A deal is a deal.” Kili noticed.

“You’ll have to be there with me all the time, day and night.” Fili sniggered and pulled Kili into his lap.

“I’ll be right there.” Kili kissed him deeply. “And I’ll make sure you’re fine, well fed and warm at night.”

“Fine... if you ask so nicely...” Fili smiled at him. “So you’ll be using the title personal assistant?”

“Does that give me unlimited access to you?” Kili asked with a smile.

“It does.” Fili smiled. “You can even boss many people around and claim I want something.” He kissed him deeply.

“Let’s call Balin.” Kili smirked into the kiss.

“Let’s do that a bit later...” Fili easily lifted him and carried him into the bedroom.

\------

When Kili called Bilbo about the news plans in his life Bilbo had to face it, their life had to generally be rescheduled. Ever since meeting the band Nori was out most nights, Ori was often going on strange dates, and Kili took less shifts than in the past. Bilbo himself did not have much heart for the bakery, spending most days daydreaming and thinking about Thorin. So he decided it was time for a change, so he called in a family meeting.

“So what do you want to discuss?” Dori was surprised seeing Thorin and Fili there as well.

“I think we need to face some facts.” Bilbo told them firmly. “The bakery is doing better than we expected, and in the last weeks we all had less time to manage it.”

“So what do you suggest?” Kili asked feeling really bad he suddenly cut down on the number of shifts.

“I think it’s time to officially hire some staff.” Bilbo told them.

“I want to work at the bakery full time.” Dori suddenly said. “I know you’re heart isn’t in it anymore, so I’d like to manage it as well.”

“My main suggestion still stands, I think Thorin should move in.” Nori told them. “And if you think you need more privacy, I have to admit I’m thinking of moving out.”

“What?” Kili gazed at Nori surprised.

“You’ve been a bit busy with your life, but I’ve been busy with mine as well.” Nori hissed at him.

“Actually I have a friend who really needs a job.” Ori told them. “His father stopped paying for his studies saying they are pointless, so he’s in a very tight spot.”

“I was actually thinking, you and Frodo should come and live with me.” Thorin noticed. “I’ve got a huge empty house.”

“I’m not really ready to move out.” Bilbo said slowly. “We worked really hard to get this place running.”

“I’m not saying close the coffee shop. I’m saying come and live with me.” Thorin noticed. “Let Dori handle the shop, hire some staff, the boys can take as many shifts as they feel like, or none if they are busy like Kili.”

“I’m not sure how that will work financially.” Bilbo gasped desperately.

“Bilbo darling, money should be the last of your worries.” Thorin told him gently. “One thing is for sure, you’re all family now. And financially all your worries should be long gone.”

“I like my independence, no thank you.” Bilbo hissed.

“Bilbo, let’s hire some staff.” Kili told him slowly. “Once we get them trained, we’ll be able to organise it with ease.”

“When does Britain’s Got Talent start?” Thorin asked them gently.

“We still have three weeks.” Fili replied in a stone cold voice.

“Great. So three weeks to get some staff, train them and organise a schedule. I’ll move in for those three weeks, to help out with Frodo, and later we’ll work out the living issue, because I do not accept an option of living apart any longer.” Thorin told them firmly. “Dori, you will manage the cafe, after all you’ve already been doing accountancy and most official things connected with it.”

“So how many staff are you thinking?” Fili suddenly asked.

“We could use someone who has an idea about baking. And two or three to run the front counter.” Dori noticed.

“You’ve been thinking a lot about this, haven’t you?” Bilbo asked with a smile.

“A while now.” Dori admitted.

“I actually know a person who knows how to bake and could use a job.” Fili suddenly noticed.

“You do?” Bilbo was surprised.

“Bifur, Bofur’s brother, has been in and out of jobs mostly because of his speech impediment.” Fili told them. “But he’s good at cooking and stuff so I think you could easily train him.”

“Fine, so we’ll try Ori’s friend, and Bifur.” Bilbo nodded. “And we need two more people.”

“I’ll post some advertisement on campus and see who shows up.” Dori suggested.

“Sound like we have a plan.” Thorin smiled. “So I’m going back home to pack.” He smiled kissed Bilbo and left. “I’ll be back for dinner.”

“Everyone come home for dinner.” Bilbo told them with a smile. “Who knows when we’ll have a chance to eat together again.”

Bifur was thrilled when Nori came to chat with him about the job in the cafe. Being the older brother reliant on his younger super star brother was a huge burden for the kind man, he wanted to prove his worth so the next day he showed up with his apron and a huge smile. But the real surprise was Faramir, Ori’s friend. The kind shy blond was a real philosopher, studying ancient Greek and Latin. And he was diligent and hard working. And always smiling. Soon Bilbo squeeze out of him the sad story of his life, about how his father was irritated with his studies, about how he praised his brother, and how he got cut off from the money because he dropped the subjects his father wanted him to choose. After three days Bilbo realised the boy was really in trouble, his father didn’t pay for the dorm, and the fees. Faramir managed to get a scholarship but it was only enough for the fees, and living in London was really expensive. So after a long consultation with Kili, Bilbo decided to give Faramir a proposition he couldn’t refuse. And soon Kili’s old room had a new inhabitant, who was stunned with the openness and kindness of Ori’s family to just take him in like that.

Soon they created a new schedule based on Faramir’s university schedule. Dori was taking a huge burden onto his shoulders, but he thrived with the responsibility. Bifur soon proved to be able to bake well enough, after some training from Bilbo his treats were as good as Kili’s or Nori’s. Dori interviewed five young people who replied to the job advertisement, but somehow no one seemed right.

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From this chapter some real life people much appear - their characteristics and portraits might not be realistic, I avoid real life people and using their names - but I simply had no choice. Sorry if this might offend someone.
> 
> I forgot to add a listening list to this chapter:  
> Sunken in my head sound like :  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPBzTxZQG5Q  
> 3 Doors Down - Here Without You

The real stress for Fili was getting ready to taking part in Britain’s got Talent. He had to go to several meetings with the producers and other stars taking part, somehow Simon Cowell didn’t seem as cold as on TV, but still Fili had no idea how to talk with a such a dominant personality. Alesha Dixon was really nice, but Fili’s main challenge was Timbaland. The American rapper was a rather dominant personality, and somehow from day one Fili could feel in his bones the man neither liked him or respected him.

Thank Mahal he had Kili. Always smiling, always cheerful, running around with his security pass on his neck, poking his nose at everything connected with the program, and taking care of him. Kili his light and his joy. Kili bringing in snacks for all the judges as they were talking about strategies and ways to deal with competitors. Kili was a bit disillusioned with the way everything was staged, but on the other hand he was absolutely thrilled to take part in such an event.

The worst came when the first auditions began. Fili felt out of place, he had no idea how to crush other people’s dreams, and how to lie even if he didn’t think they had a chance. After a long conversation with Balin, and many long night conversations with Kili, he decided to take their advice. It wasn’t a matter of crushing their dreams, it was a matter of telling them what was real. A matter of being honest.

So the next day when the first girl walked in and sang simply horribly, Fili told her the truth. In simple frank words. At first he saw her made a terrified face, but then she just ran up to him asked for an autograph and confessed she came there to just meet him. And to his shock she even thanked him for being honest. Simon gazed at him surprised, but the scowl on Timbaland’s face proved the American did not dislike him, he simply hated him.

When they finally made a break Kili ran to his side, forced him to eat a bit, and gave treats to the judges.

“So boy why aren’t you singing in the competition?” Timbaland suddenly asked the friendly brunet.

“What me?” Kili squeaked.

“You have a nice deep voice.” Timbaland noticed.

“And no dreams of fame or fortune.” Kili smiled.

“Contrary to everyone that comes here.” Alesha smiled at him. “So how did you get this job?”

“Oh that’s a very long story.” Kili smiled and gazed at Fili with a shy smile.

“So what’s next?” Simon asked, not really realizing the boy was simply very nosy and wasn’t really assigned to the job he was doing.

Kili pulled out his phone and quickly told them about the next contestants, and how many more people they had to listen to.

“Seems like a busy day...” Timbaland complained.

“Wait till you hear some of them sing... I suggest buying earplugs.” Kili smiled. “Lunch is at one pm in the private lounge.” He reminded them and rushed to the producer to snoop around some more.

Fili watched him leave with a smile, and then he noticed all three judges glare at him. He had no idea how to interpret their faces, but soon all of them had professional smiles again as one of the crew called in a new contestant.

As more and more contestants were coming in and out and few were going to the next round, Fili didn’t feel at all hungry when it was time to eat lunch. Gloomily he walked to the dining room set up for them, and with a sour face he glared at the fancy dishes he really didn’t feel like eating. All the producers had similar ideas, so they usually got a fancy chef to prepare fancy top class but inedible dishes. Inedible by Fili’s standards who hated sea food, raw food or food he had no idea what it was. Well generally he hated all food.

“I heard you’re a picky star, but even you have to admit this feast is fabulous!” Timbaland hissed gazing at all the treats on the table.

Fili just glanced at the inedible dishes. He was so suspicious about the food he didn’t feel like touching any of it. But soon Kili came to save him.

“Let me guess, not hungry?” Kili smiled and with a huge smirk he took a plate and to the judges shock he began serving a small portion onto the plate. He carefully selected the food and with a scowl sat in front of Fili.

“Don’t worry tomorrow I’ll bring in something better.” Kili assured him and place the plate in front of Fili with a grin.

“I’m not hungry.” Fili noticed.

“To fuck with that.” Kili hisses and put a portion of food onto the fork. “Nicely, or not nicely?” He growled.

With a deep sigh Fili took the fork and slowly began eating, feeling Kili glare at his every move, and the eyes of the judges glare at both of them. “Good?” Kili asked, and Fili just shook his head. “A muffin then?” He proposed with a smile and when Fili nodded he rushed out to get some snacks.

“The boy certainly has better things to do than see to your flimsy eating habits...” Timbaland hissed.

“I wouldn’t be so critical if I were you... All of us have our flaws.” Simon noticed keeping his cool.

Fili gazed at them slowly. “That’s not your business.” He was as cold as possible imitating Thorin’s business tone.

When Kili came back we was greeted with a cold atmosphere, he just gazed from the judges to Fili, he placed the muffin in front of Fili and a plate of muffins for the other judges. He carefully glanced at them all and suddenly decided to stay, he took a chair and sat at the table ready to be buffer between Fili and the other judges. “You have seventeen more auditions before dinner.” He told them. “Dinner is at six, and ten more in the evening.” Kili told them all.

“Just fucking great...” Timbaland was clearly unhappy.

Fili gasped and folded his arms and rested his head on the table. “I can’t take it.” He whispered to Kili more than to the other judges.

“Shut the fuck up.” Kili sniggered at him. Timbaland gazed at him surprised an assistant would talk like that to a star. “Man up and take it head on.” He encouraged him, he knew kissing him and holding him would work much better, but there was no way he could do it in public. Fili just gasped and hit his head on the table.

“You’ve got some guts kid.” Timbaland smiled at Kili.

“I have a very difficult job dealing with stars.” Kili smiled back.

“And it seems you’ve got talent for that.” Simon smirked. “Anyway we’ve got a job to do.”

Ten auditions later Fili was ready to walk out, the remarks he was getting from Timbaland were driving him nuts. The number of talentless people singing or trying to do some crazy shit in front of him irritated him beyond belief. He regretted ever agreeing to taking part in this, and the only thing keeping him from snapping back at Timbaland and running out, was Kili. Kili who forced him that unfavourable position in the first place.

“Fili we need to talk.” Kili forced him to sit down in his changing room just before the last part of the auditions.

“What about?” Fili hissed.

“Stop acting like that.” Kili told him bitterly.

“Like what?” Fili hissed.

“Like a stuck up egotistic self centred star!” Kili told him.

“How is your calling me names going to help?” Fili noticed sadly.

“No wonder the band said I was crazy when I told them we’re going to do this.” Kili hissed. “You’re acting as if you have a stick up your ass.”

“I don’t have a stick up my ass... It’s just...” Fili complained.

“I know. You hate fame, you hate publicity, you hate media and everything in between. Now take a deep breath.” Kili instructed him to relax.

“The other judges hate me.” Fili hissed.

“Because you’re acting spineless. Like a typical air head star who never sang his own songs, uses voice manipulation and playback.” Kili hissed.

“What?” Fili felt defeated.

“That’s what Timbaland thinks about you, I overheard.” Kili told him calmly. “So now stop acting like a star, and start being yourself. If he irritates you show it, if the person on stage is crap tell them.”

“I just...” Fili felt really bad, and Kili took him in his arms.

“I know Sunshine I know.” Kili whispered to him. “If I had known this would be such a stress for you, I wouldn’t have pushed you into this.” He gently kissed Fili’s face.

“So what now?” Fili asked.

“You’re going back and doing your job.” Kili told him firmly. “Be strong. I’m right behind you. Be yourself, laugh if you feel like laughing, yell if you feel like it. And start snapping back at Timbaland’s remarks.”

“I’m not sure I can handle it...” Fili felt miserable.

“Tomorrow you’re dressing like yourself as well.” Kili smiled at him. “It pains me to see you in so much pain over there, so just smile Sunshine, I’ll be watching your every move...” He kissed him.

They heard a knock on the door. And Alesha’s voice. “Are you ready?” She asked calmly.

“They all don’t like me.” Fili hissed.

“Stop thinking so much, just do your job and be yourself.” Kili gave him a last chaste kiss and pushed him at the door. “Keep your head up Sunshine...”

\------

“Simon I really can’t take it.” Alesha told him slowly as they were finally alone. “We never had such a conflict in our jury.” She gazed at him meaningfully.

“If I had known Timbaland hated Sunken and Fellan I would set it up differently.” Simon admitted slowly. “But now we have to salvage what we can.”

“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but the more Timbaland is spiteful, the less Fellan is open.” Alesha told him firmly. “Fellan is so withdrawn, that if he were any of my friends I would drag him to therapy.”

“And Timbaland is so spiteful you’d smack him around.” Simon admitted quickly. “But what are we going to do now?”

“What really worries me is that new assistant boy running around. He’s doing a great job, when did you hire him?” She asked Simon slowly.

“I’m not sure, I didn’t hire him. Probably someone from production. But why does he worry you?” Simon asked her slowly.

“He’s clearly infatuated with Fellan, and the more Fellan glances at him the more Timbaland is spiteful.” Alesha summed up her observation.

“So you think Fellan is using the boy and Timbaland doesn’t approve?” Simon noticed slowly.

“I think if we don’t get them to cooperate this season will be the most stressful for us so far.” Alesha hissed grimly. “Fellan’s possible relations with the boy are another problem we might have to face.”

“Go and get him, we need to start last round for tonight. We’ll talk on the phone later.” Simon calmly told her.

\-------

Fili sat for the last part of the auditions clearly in a very bad mood. He was trying very hard to be himself, he would openly criticize and state what he thinks.

Some of the competitors were shocked with his calm, placid voice telling them honestly what was wrong with their singing. But what was shocking for most was the emotionless attitude. Timbaland kept gazing at him with spite, but the first time he tried to provoke the blond he heard a firm. "Just because they came here it doesn't mean they can sing."

"What do you know about singing?" Timbaland hissed back, and Simon just gasped scared they would actually fight in front of the contestant.

"More than you obliviously." Fili replied with ease, but with a carefree smile and glanced at the contestant. "Come back next year." He told the contestant with a smile. "And practise those high notes." The girl just nodded and ran out with relief.

"Just three more, and it seems one of them can sing." Kili smiled at them and placed some water on the table and clean glasses.

"Thank you." Timbaland replied politely and smiled at the friendly boy. "I hope they pay enough for this job."

The brunet just laughed and walked out. Fili gazed at him with a smile. His smile did not die even when Timbaland glanced sternly at him, instead it caused a laughter attack.

The next contestant came in. And he was dancing, and it seemed good enough, so after three votes to one he passed to the next round.

The one but last contestant came in carrying a violin. The girl was average, but the other jury praised her playing.

"How long have been playing?" Fili asked her slowly.

"Nearly five years." She girl replied in a trembling voice.

"And no one taught you how to tune a violin?" Fili asked as gently as possible. The girl went red and clearly she was surprised with the question.

"And you're going to tell me you could do it better?" Timbaland hissed.

"I could." Fili noticed dully.

"Prove it then!" Timbaland taunted and gazed at the girl with a smile. "As long as you don't mind."

The girl just stood there in shock but finally shook her head.

Fili calmly walked up to her and reached for the violin. He gently played a bit and tuned it. Then with ease he took in and began playing the same song the girl was playing earlier. But way better.

Timbaland gazed at him surprised.

"How long have you been playing?" Simon asked Fellan gently.

"I don't practice the violin, but I did learn how to play it in music school." He gave the violin back to the stunned girl. "If you haven't learnt that much in five years, it means you need more practice." He told her bluntly and returned to his seat.

"So what's your decision?" Simon asked with a strange smirk on his face.

"No." Fili did not elaborate.

“So where is the one who knows how to sing?” Timbaland hissed as the girl finally walked out.

“They always leave the best for last, when we’re most tired.” Simon sniggered.

“Last contestant for tonight.” Kili announced and guided in a slim young black boy with a guitar.

“So introduce yourself.” Simon told the boy calmly.

“I’m Jake Manning, and I’m from Newcastle.” The boy spoke in a very shacking tone.

“That’s a long way.” Alesha noticed gently and the boy just nodded.

“So what are you going to sing for us?” Timbaland asked with a smile, glad this was the last audition of the day.

The boy gazed at Fili and in a very shaky tone said. “Sunken ‘Without you’” He finally said.

“Great...” The way Timbaland said it clearly suggested he wasn’t happy with the idea.

“Give us all you’ve got.” Simon encouraged the boy with a smile.

Fili just closed his eyes as the first tunes reached him. The boy knew how to play, his technique correct and in tune. When the boy began singing, he heard a voice more similar to Kili’s than his own, more raspy and lower. The song sounded different on his lips, different than Fili or Kili’s versions. The kid was good, he had a tendency to lose tunes at the end, but overall Fili had to admit it was the best performance of the day. When the song ended he finally opened his eyes and noticed the boy look only at him and clearly he was waiting for his reaction. As were the other judges.

He gazed at the boy. “A very good attempt. “He finally told the stressed out boy. “You know the song very well, and I really appreciate you decided to play yourself.” Fili gently told him, and after a moment decided to add what he really felt. “It was the best performance of the day.” The boy smiled with relief.

“You’ve got great pitch, and a beautiful vibe in your voice, that’s a huge yes from me!” Alesha praised him warmly.

“With the right song, you could become great kid!” Timbaland added.

Finally Simon decided to add his bit. “I agree with Fellan that was the best performance of the day. Good job!” The boy smiled happily and nearly jumped out of his skin.

“So I assume that’s a four times yes?” Simon gazed at them.

“Yes.” Fili replied firmly.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggesting listening list (my inspirations during this chapter):  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbXgHAzUWB0  
> Axwell Ingrosso - Sun Is Shining

When it was finally over Kili ran to Fili, it took all his self control not to kiss the blond right in front of everyone. He quickly told Fili about his day, chatting away the silence and the strange glares he got from the judges and staff as he walked out with Fili. They both rushed to get home urgent to be alone finally.

Simon walked up to one of the main TV producers. "That young boy makes a great addition to the team, you should give him a raise!" He told the man in a friendly tone.

"Which one?" The man asked surprised.

"The always smiling brunet, I think his name was Kili..." Simon calmly explained. "We never had such good care before..."

"Then you should talk to Fellan. That nosy kid is his personal assistant." The producer said in a calm tone. "One of the many conditions we had to accept while taking such a star, at least most of his conditions are reasonable so far. "

"His personal assistant?" Simon noticed surprised. "But he knew everything we needed and acted as if he really worked for the studio."

"The kid has been a huge help all day, he even helped reprogram one of the computers." The man smiled. "I’m thinking about bribing him to join the crew."

"Thanks!" Simon said slowly and went to his car. When he got there he dialled Alesha's phone. "Guess what?" He asked her lightly.

"You miss me already?" She hissed.

"That boy is Fellan's personal assistant." He dropped the bomb.

"And here I thought the studio decided to take better care of us..." Alesha noticed laughing. "We'll talk tomorrow." She told him quickly.

\------

The next day Kili had huge problems getting Fili out of bed. It was almost impossible to force him out, finally Kili used a shit move and ground against him sensually just to run away and taunt him. Then they had a fight about what clothes Fili should wear, which ended with Kili stubbornly pushing at him plain blue jeans, but along with an old Erebor t-shirt.

Fili gazed at the t-shirt with teary eyes.

"Why are you crying?" Kili asked impatiently.

"This used to belong to my father..." Fili felt beat down.

"A good luck charm. It's really cool." Kili assured him. He pushed a long sleeve jumper into his bag along with his laptop.

"I'm not sure this will work." Fili gazed at the ordinary set of clothes.

"Do you understand that only if you act like yourself this will work?" Kili embraced him gently and kissed him tenderly. "We really need to go, Dori is waiting with coffee and snacks and if we don't hurry we'll be late to the studio." Kili pushed him to the door.

\--------

"Erebor?" Timbaland hissed looking at the clothes Fellan chose. "You're styling yourself as Villi Oakenshield?" He asked bitterly. "Are you aware no one can ever match to a star like him?"

"That was uncalled for." Simon noticed.

"'Whatever..." Fili hissed and sipped on his coffee.

"Why are you drinking coffee from a coffee shop when you can have the best coffee here?" Alesha asked curiously.

"This is the best coffee." Fili admitted pointing to the cup.

"Would you like some?" Kili immediately asked. "We'll be getting a delivery of snacks for lunch so we can order some coffee as well." Kili told her calmly.

"Don’t bother..." Alesha told him gently. "Although I would kill for another muffin."

Kili smiled happily and immediately pulled out more muffins. "Your wish is my command." Kili smirked and placed the plate with a playful bow in front of her. Fili could only smile and exchange warm glanced with him.

"Where do you get them?" Simon asked curiously.

"My family runs a coffee shop." Kili smiled happily.

"That explains a lot." Alesha smiled.

"So what are we going to do today?". Timbaland asked grimly.

"Thirty three contestants. Twelve before lunch, sixteen before dinner and later seven after dinner." Kili quickly informed them.

"Thank you." Simon told him with a light smile.

"I need your phone." Kili hissed at Fili and put it in his pocket. Fili just raised him eyebrows and smiled.

“Just don’t break it or hack it again.” Fili hissed.

“That’s exactly what I’m planning to do.” Kili smirked and left with a huge grin.

“That kid is just all over the place.” Simon noticed with a smile.

“The only advantage of having ADD.” Fili noticed.

“So are we getting to work or chatting about coffee and muffins?” Timbaland noticed and motioned to the staff they were ready to begin.

After three hours of listening to competitors, Fili could hear Kili’s words in his head, about the t-shirt being a good luck charm. Five of the contestants sang Erebor’s songs, and three of them were pretty good. Timbaland was a bit less spiteful, or maybe Fili felt a bit more confident and didn’t let the producer get him down. When lunch finally approached and they arrived at the lounge Fili could only smile.

“You’ve out done yourself.” He smirked at Kili who was placing plates on the table.

“After all that crap yesterday I just had to make sure you get a decent meal today.” Kili smirked at him as he began putting a large portion of food on a plate. “And I discovered there is actually a kitchen here. It took me nearly two hours to get a part of it to myself, but you can see the result.” He placed the plate in front of Fili.

“If you guys like anything, please just help yourself.” Kili told the other judges.

“Did I catch you? You cooked this?” Timbaland pointed to the plates a bit away from the others.

“Yup.” Kili smiled.

“You’re a man of many talents.” Simon smiled and took a small portion of the four things prepared by Kili.

“Nicely or not nicely?” Kili hissed at Fili who was sitting there motionless. Fili just gasped and slowly began eating.

“Damn this stuff is good.” Timbaland complimented the boy. “Are you sure you’re not a professional chef?”

“Nope, just a well raised boy.” Kili smiled.

“Why don’t you sit down and eat with us?” Simon proposed.

“I don’t want to intrude.” Kili noticed shyly.

“You’re not intruding.” Alesha smiled.

Kili quickly sat next to Fili and nudged him anytime the blond would stop eating.

“So how are the others today?” Timbaland asked the boy.

“Various.” Kili admitted in between bites. “You’ve got two illusionists, some dancers and several more singers and a band.”

“Are any of them any good?” Simon asked with a smirk.

“You’ll have to judge for yourself. But I would still advise having earplugs just in case.” Kili joked easily.

“Are any of them as bad as Tauriel?” Fili hissed.

“She’s a league all to herself, so I dare say no one matches up to her level.” Kili sniggered with a grin pulled his leg up and nudged Fili yet again.

“As in good or bad?” Alesha smiled.

“She’s just more hopeless than hopeless.” Kili smirked. “And she loves karaoke. When she heard you’re doing this, she wanted to take part, but her brother stopped her.”

“Thank Mahal!” Fili gasped and wanted to put the plate away.

“You’re not done eating.” Kili kicked him.

Fili just gazed at him and placed the plate back. “Our lunch break is ending...” He glanced at the time and he saw a scowl on Kili’s face. The judges began leaving.

Kili just waved his finger in front of him and grimaced. “You’re eating double for dinner.” He threatened. Fili just smiled at him apologetically and walked out after the judges.

One illusionist was okay, two singers were decent, three others horrible. For Fili the hardest moment came when a very young girl stepped onto the stage. She was a tiny thing, very slim, with long blond hair and nice green eyes. But what made Fili worried was the trembling and shyness, he knew from his own experience.

The girl sang more than well, her voice pretty high and strong. But she didn’t have training, her voice lacking professional tips and practise. All three judges were clearly very enthusiastic and immediately praised her, but Fili just sat there silent.

“How old are you?” He finally asked her.

“Fifteen.” She replied in a trembling voice surprised with the lack of praise.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this path in life?” He asked her trying to be as gentle as possible.

The girl gazed at him surprised with the question, the other judges were glaring at him.

“Honestly, you should go back to school. Your voice needs professional training, you tend to lose tune on the highest notes. You have the capability to reach a professional level, but you’re not at it just yet.” He told her straight forward. Then the worst thing possible happened the girl suddenly from joy skipped to sadness, tears coming up to her eyes.

Timbaland gazed at him with so much spite, but both Alesha and Simon were also surprised with his harsh comment.

He just took a deep breath and began chanting:

”Then you came my way on a winter's day  
Shouted loudly come out and play  
Can't you tell I got news for you  
Sun is shining and so are you  
  
Everything is gonna be alright  
Dry your tears and hold tight  
Can't you tell I got news for you  
Sun is shining and so are you”

The girl stood there in shock, her eyes wide open and her tears long forgotten. Suddenly a wide smile came to her face as the meaning of the words hit her.

“Thank you!” She smiled openly.

“So are we voting?” Simon asked gently surprised with the situation.

“Yes!” Alesha smiled at the girl.

“Yes.” Timbaland said seriously.

“Fellan?” Simon asked the blond.

“Yes.” Fili finally told him.

“So that gives four times yes and you pass to the next round.” Simon announced and the girl nearly jumped with joy.

“A cute song.” Alesha noticed with a smile. “Are you preparing for the new album?” She asked Fellan gently.

“Slowly getting there, but that one won’t probably make it to the album, it’s off style.” Fellan noticed.

“Well at least you didn’t fuck up as I though you would.” Timbaland noticed, he was still a bit surprised the blond could sing in a clear voice.

At dinner a huge surprise was waiting for Fili, as a small boy he learnt to love rushed at him and demanded to be lifted up.

“Who let the rabbit into the studio?!” Fili joked and swirled with Frodo in his arms.

“Are you planning to snack on the cables little rabbit?” Fili tickled the small boy with a huge smile on his face.

“And who is this?” Alesha smiled at the vibrant dark haired child, with the bluest eyes in the world.

“Frodo, met Alesha. Alesha this is Frodo.” Fili introduced them lightly. “So what are you doing here?”

“We got a phone call from Kili.” Thorin appeared in the doorway.

“And who might you be?” Simon smiled. “You seem strangely familiar.”

“Thorin.” Thorin introduced himself curtly and shook the man’s hand.

“Oakenshield?” Simon asked with an all knowing smile.

“Not that I like to be recognised.” Thorin hissed as they walked into the room. “I hope you don’t mind a more family style dinner. My boyfriend just spooked away your regular chef.”

“What do you mean?” Timbaland gazed at the man Simon identified as Thorin Oakenshield, one of the famous band members of Erebor, the last band member alive in fact. Gazing at the man, with the neatly trimmed beard, Timbaland would never have recognised him.

“Fili!” Bilbo smiled at the blond, and hugged him.

“So what did Kili tell you to drag you all here?” Fili hissed at them.

“He just said you needed our support.” Thorin gently assured him, their relations were really cold, meeting as rarely as possible, it was huge surprise that Kili asked him to come.

“How did you manage to get in?” Alesha gazed at the strange family.

“Oh, that’s easy.” Thorin smiled at her. “Come and sit.” He guided the judges to the table.

“Where did you lose Kili?” Fili asked Bilbo gently.

“He’s running around like always. He said something about fixing a computer and coming here.” Bilbo explained.

“So that means he might be busy for hours.” Thorin hissed. “Just like when he decided to modernise my office.”

“Enjoy.” Bilbo smiled at the judges and pointed towards the neatly set up table.

The judges hesitated at first, but when they started trying the food their reservations went out of the window.

Kili showed up soon, and first he just had to hug Frodo who began complaining he can’t see him as often anymore, and them Bilbo who just hugged him and motioned to sit down next to Fili.

“So what kind of computer were you fixing?” Fili asked slowly.

“It’s funny how they are doing all this but they don’t even have decent computer equipment.” Kili hissed. “So you can say I’ve been modernising.” He smirked at Fili happily.

“You really can’t sit still for ten minutes.” Fili just smiled at him warmly. Kili pushed some more food at him.

“So we were wondering, once you finish the filming, would you like to come to Greece with us?” Bilbo gently asked.

“Like a holiday?” Kili asked slowly.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea, during holidays he’ll have to try to sit still for longer...” Fili joked.

“Oh just shut up...” Kili gently scolded him. “We’ll think about it and check his schedule.”

“I think you mean our schedule...” Fili smiled forgetting about the extra company. Kili just smiled back happily. “So how is Bifur managing?” He asked Bilbo.

“He made himself at home.” Bilbo smiled. “He’s doing great, his baking is nearly as good as mine. So is Faramir, the boy actually started helping with the baking as well. Dori has actually been thinking of opening another coffee shop.”

“That would be great.” Kili smiled lightly. “If you need any help don’t hesitate to call me.”

“Don’t worry I won’t hesitate.” Bilbo smiled at Thorin. “I’ve made my decision, I’m moving out with Frodo to Thorin’s house. Bifur is moving in.”

“What about Nori?” Kili asked.

“Nori hasn’t spent a night at home the last five months, so I consider him out already.” Bilbo smiled. “He just needs a little nudge to make it official.”

“High time!” Fili smiled.

“So will you drop by from time to time?” Fili asked Bilbo with a smile, the family dinner made him relax and feel safe for a change.

“We will.” Thorin assured him calmly.

“I was wondering.” Timbaland gazed at Thorin. “Could we have a moment in private?” He asked the famous past rock star as everyone was slowly leaving the room.

“Is there anything you need?” Thorin told the man in a calm voice.

“I was wondering about the rights to some of Erebor’s songs, the idea of modernising them and letting them out again has been on my mind for quite some time.” Timbaland noticed.

“Well if you so you should talk Balin Fundin not to me, he holds all the rights at the moment.” Thorin replied calmly. “But all the past propositions have been rejected so I wouldn’t have your hopes up.”

Timbaland gazed at the old star with a grin. “To Fundin?” He just hissed. “Interesting.” He noticed and walked out.

Thorin just stood there surprised with the vibe he got from the producer, somehow he was confident Fili could handle it, but Thorin just called Balin.

“I got a phone call from Kili as well, he wants me to prolong the food breaks saying it’s getting more stressful for Fili and difficult to get him to eat.” Balin complained.

“Timbaland has something against Fili, find out what.” Thorin hissed at him

“I’m on it.” Balin told him.

“I’m very worried.” Thorin noticed. “Fili seems not himself here.”

“Don’t worry, Kili is working on it, and he will be there for every lunch and dinner till the end of the auditions.” Balin assured him.

“Great.” Thorin agreed.

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggested listening list:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTO7JMxrZ1k  
> Supertramp ‘Even in the quietest moments’
> 
> Soon I'll give you some idea what Erebor and Sunken sound like in my head ;)
> 
> I forgot to add a listening list to chapter 18:  
> Sunken in my head sound more or less like :  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPBzTxZQG5Q  
> 3 Doors Down - Here Without You
> 
> 55000 words? LOL I'm exact :P

Fili went to the last part of the auditions in a slightly better mood. Seeing Bilbo and Frodo always made him cheer up, even seeing Thorin was better than the stress of the program.

“So what’s your name?” Simon asked at a group of young boys and girl stepped onto the stage.

“Up beat!” One of the boys shouted.

“So fire up!” Alesha told them with a smile.

At first the judges were convinced the group would just dance, but after a moment they realised they were a choir, not a dance group. As the girls began chanting and soon the boys joined in. Fili could feel tears come up to his eyes, that was one of his mom’s favourite songs ever. A very old hit by Supertramp called ‘Even in the quietest moments’, and she would sing it to him in the evenings before bed.

“Fellan?” Simon gently asked him to speak first.

“That used to be my mum’s favourite song. She would have loved the version you just sang.” Fili told them slowly. “You need a bit more practise, there were two moments when you missed a note or sync, but on the whole it was great.”

“I’ll gladly see you rise to the finals!” Alesha smiled. “Keep up the good work and surprise us yet again in the next round!” She smiled at them.

“Pure talent in pure form.” Timbaland added. “If you don’t get a contract, I’ll get you one!”

“A four time yes! Welcome to next stage of the show!” Simon summed up quickly. “Great stunning and professional!”

The next was a crazy dog show, but despite the great show it did not get to the next round, when Timbaland and Alesha gave it a no.

The countless faces were drilling into Fili’s brain. He felt a huge pressure, he wanted to be fair and just. He tried to say what was true, no soft heart, just plain honest.

When he finally made it home with Kili he felt relived.

“Sit down Sunshine.” Kili told him firmly, and pulled out a plate from the fridge and heated it in the microwave.

“First food.” He put the plate between them as Fili tried to go to the bedroom.

“I’m not hungry!” Fili gasped annoyed.

“You ate less than 1000 calories today.” Kili told him grimly, and he himself began eating. After a few bites he passed the fork to Fili. “I know the program is putting you off, but you must eat Sugar.” He shoved the fork at Fili, who with a deep growl took the portion of food. “So tell me what’s going on.” Kili insisted.

“Nothing... it’s just I feel out of place...” Fili told him. “All day I’m doing something I dislike. I’m putting people down.”

“Then put them up instead...”Kili noticed and shoved another portion of food at him.

“I can’t lie...” Fili gasped.

“I never said lie, just don’t put them down.” Kili told him bluntly. “Tell me more, because that’s not it all.”

“Timbaland.” Fili hissed. “I can feel it under my skin, he just hates me.”

“Why would you hate you? He doesn’t know you.” Kili gave him another portion.

“I miss you. I miss this... I miss singing everyday with you...” Fili gasped annoyed.

“I can feed you, but I wonder how the other judges would react to that.” Kili noticed.

“I don’t really give a shit, they had to sign non disclosure stuff anyway.” Fili gasped irritated.

“Fee... Sunshine... don’t be so negative.” Kili told him gently. “Just five more days of auditions, then we’re all going to that fancy place where the episodes will be filmed. Let’s make a small deal. Five days, but you eat normally, you stop giving a shit about the other judges especially Timbaland. You say what you feel, do what you want. You’re a fucking star! I’ve read your contract you can do lots of shit and they have no right to say anything.”

“And then what?” Fili asked slowly.

“When we’re there I will make it up to you.” Kili told him. “We’ll sing everyday even if we will cut down on sleep and add on coffee, and we’ll go back to feeding.”

“This feel just so... cold and lifeless and pointless...” Fili told him bluntly.

“Come here darling.” Kili reached his hand towards him. “I’d like to show you what I’ve been up to the last three days.” He pulled Fili towards the cinema room and plugged his laptop in. “Keep eating!” He scolded Fili lightly.

“Would you like to see my favourite fragment so far?” Kili told him and wrapped his arm around him.

“Kee, did you hack the show?” Fili gasped surprised.

“I can hack into anything.” Kili noticed with a huge grin. “If there is a list of the world’s most dangers hackers I might even be on it...” He smiled and kissed Fili.

Kili played the fragment with the blond girl who cried, but it was an edited version with a short conversation about who she was and where she was from. Fili watched with crossed brows as the girl said no one from her family knew she was going to the program, and she said she never learnt any singing. Watching the same fragment again was unnerving, and when he began talking and the girl cried he felt like crying himself. But when he heard himself singing he just gasped.

“You’re fucking unbelievable.” Kili kissed him tenderly.

“That’s my voice?” Fili gasped.

“You sang so much rock, that you never heard yourself singing other stuff?” Kili joked. “You’re fucking talented... You could sing anything, from pop to classical to anything really.” Kili kissed him. “Continue watching.” He pointed towards the screen.

When the girl ran out she did not talk about the critical remark she got, she was crying with joy that Fellan sang for her. That instead of commenting he sang for her. She was so thrilled and enthusiastic that she was literarily jumping.

“Kili...” Fili gasped with emotions in his voice.

“Yes Sunshine?” Kili asked gently.

“You’re the most amazing person in the world.” Fili told him and kissed him deeply. “So you were watching everything?”

“Yup, and I was downloading. Those imbeciles have a very unsecure network and messed up computer system, so I had to add a good blocking program, and I told them how to fix the cables.” Kili told him with a huge grin. “I made a back up copy just in case they fuck up...”

“You’re got talent...” Fili noticed and pulled him into his lap.

“You have no idea...” Kili ground against him sensually.

“Why don’t you show me then?” Fili smiled happily.

\-----

The next day when they arrived the whole studio was in a frenzy preparing for another busy day. Somehow the day felt different, after the night with Kili, after watching the auditions and talking, everything felt different. Fili realised just how isolated he was, being among the jury and being away from normal people.

When he sat at the table with the judges and the first contestants came in, he promised himself he would not disappoint Kili.

The last three days of auditions went by fast, Fili tried to be as positive as possible, but firm and honest at the same time. Some contestants were really good and they heard it, but others would hear honest criticism.

Then there were two very stressful days for Kili, but those were even more stressful for the stylist appointed to chose clothes for Fili for the public appearances in the program.

Kili held his ground, he had firm ideas about what looked good on Fili and what didn’t. And the woman had ideas in style like Fili had to wear for concerts and public appearances with the band. Kili knowing how Fili really felt about wearing all black all the time, and all those fancy stuff, was pushing for a more natural selection. Bright blue, white and azure colours.

After a whole day of fights and discussions, the next day the woman arrived with a huge selection of clothes and nothing was black. After another five hours of torturing Fili with trying things on, they had agreed on ten different sets for the stage.

They spent another day packing, and Kili wasn’t at all happy they were going away for the final stages of the program. Away from the support of family and friends. And Kili made himself a promise, no more wandering around alone, he would spend with Fili every minute. Not venture around, but just watch over him, so that Fili could see him. He felt safe in his ‘Crew’ t-shirt and with a long sleeve sweatshirt under it hiding his scars.

Fili had to go to the studio immediately when they arrived, so Kili took the luggage to the hotel room and checked in for them. When he was done he rushed to the studio, easily getting in thanks to his t-shirt and pass. He walked along the rehearsals area seeing some of the contestants preparing, he stopped for a moment and listened to them. Some of them were really good. When a boy noticed him standing there he walked up to him.

“Hey, so you work here?” The boy asked in a hesitant voice.

“Yes, is there anything you need?” Kili asked slowly, glad his pass gave only his first name and the title assistant.

“We were wondering, do the judges ever come down here?” He asked.

“Not that I know of.” Kili admitted. “Why?”

“It would just be cool to hear some tips.” The boy noticed meekly.

“I can’t make any promises.” Kili told him slowly, but a crazy idea was slowly rooting in his mind. “Sorry, I need to get to work, good luck!” He told the boy and walked away towards the judge zone.

First thing, he visited the kitchen of the hotel, and made sure they serve something edible for Fili. Fili’s eating was still problematic, and most of fancy dishes completely out of the question. The staff didn’t even blink when Kili told him what to serve for lunch for Fili.

Then he finally made his way towards the conference room where the judges were talking about the last details with the producer.

“I don’t care if you like it or not.” He heard Fili’s voice from behind the door. Kili slowly walked in and gazed at them trying to guess what made Fili so irritated.

“Like what?” He asked slowly sitting right next to him.

“They want me to give tips during rehearsals.” Fili grunted.

“Someone has to do it.” Timbaland told him bluntly. “It’s part of the job.”

“That’s actually a good idea.” Kili noticed.

“You think so?” Fili asked slowly.

“Yup, that’s a great idea.” Kili smiled at him. “Any other issues we need to talk about?”

Simon gazed at the brunet with a shy smile, the boy had a huge influence on Fellan.

“The contestants have three more days to prepare, during which we’ll give them tips and help prepare.” Timbaland said.

“We’ll practise stage conversations as well, most of the program goes live.” Simon reminded them.

“Great, so when do we start?” Kili asked impatiently.

“What are you up to?” Fili’s eyes went narrow as he gazed at his beloved husband.

“You’ll see...” Kili smiled to him. “First we’re all eating lunch.” He noticed. “Unless there is something important we need to talk about right now.”

“Lunch it is.” Timbaland noticed.

“Are you eating with us?” Alesha proposed with a kind smile, somehow the fiery brunet got everyone’s sympathy.

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for anything.” Kili smiled.

When the judges arrived at the hotel restaurant where most of the contestants were already eating, the chatter increased in a millisecond. Kili sat confidently with the judges unfazed with the attention or popularity.

“You’re a strange person.” Simon suddenly noticed gazing at the brunet.

“Fucked up is the right word.” Kili smiled.

“What do you mean by that?” Timbaland asked.

“Let’s say it this way, I never do what people expect, I do too much, and I rarely shut up?” Kili told him causing a huge smile on Fili’s face.

“Fame really doesn’t work on you?” Simon asked surprised. “It’s so rare to meet somebody who behaves naturally around celebrities. Most react like that around us...” He gazed around at the people watching their every move.

“I just don’t need fame.” Kili noticed.

“What would you need?” Alesha asked him slowly taking in the way Kili was gazing at Fili.

“Nothing much, I’m quite happy with my life.” Kili smiled.

“So what are the plans for today?” Alesha asked again.

Kili just giggled. “Lots of stuff, I’m planning to mess around as always.”

“So would you sing if I asked you nicely?” Timbaland asked.

“You won’t stop, will you?” Kili smiled, but Fili nearly cringed his teeth.

“Not until I get you to sing.” Timbaland admitted.

“You do seem very stubborn with the idea that he can sing.” Simon noticed with a smirk as the waiter brought in some food. “What’s this?”

“You get the fancy stuff celebrities like. We get normal food.” Kili noticed.

“Why does your food look better than ours?” Alesha noticed.

“I blackmailed the kitchen staff.” Kili smiled at her.

“How do you get things like that done?” Simon asked.

“Easy, I said what I want and I promised them some gadgets.” Kili smiled carefree.

“Could you please arrange some normal dinner for us tomorrow?” Simon gazed at his tiny portion of no-one-knows-what.

“No problem.” Kili smiled happily. He gazed at Fili and nudged him to eat more. The food was edible by Fili standards so Kili knew how to push him to eat.

Kili gazed at Fili’s half eaten dinner, and kicked him under the table. “Start eating or the next meal I’ll make a scene your fans will remember for life.” He hissed in a low threatening whisper.

Fili just gasped and slowly continued eating.

“Do you normally have such a weak appetite?” Alesha gazed at Fili’s plate. He was more playing with food than actually eating.

“I’m just not hungry today.” Fili easily lied.

“You never seem hungry.” Simon noticed.

“I’m done.” Fili firmly put away the fork and knife, he just got up and left.

“Please don’t push him, eating is a very touchy subject.” Kili explained.

“Anorexia?” Alesha asked curtly.

“Re-occurring over the last ten years.” Kili confirmed.

“That’s just bullshit.” Timbaland noticed.

“It’s not.” Alesha told him. “Many stars fight with it.”

“He’s just an egocentric self centred star.” Timbaland hissed.

“Really?” Kili’s voice was deadly. “I thought you signed a contract as well, and in it there must have been a paragraph about non disclosure.”

Timbaland finally stopped talking, stunned with the fiery eyes he saw.

“We won’t be eating dinner together with you tonight.” He told them slowly.

“We’d like to join you in a more private environment if needed.” Alesha noticed.

“I’ll text you.” Kili told her with a smile.

“Won’t you need my number for that?” She asked in a low chuckle.

“I got all your numbers.” Kili smiled at her and walked after Fili.

He found him in front of the hotel gazing at the sea behind.

“Come on, a half an hour of rest and then we have things to do and places to be.” Kili smiled at him and guided him towards their suite.

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter listening list:  
> Inspiration list:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cwkej79U3ek  
> Vanessa Carlton - A Thousand Miles   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp-EO5I60KA  
> Ed Sheeran - Thinking Out Loud  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAP9AF6DCu4  
> The Calling - Wherever You Will Go (posing as a song from Sunken's third album)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFq1eT9tMJ4  
> 3 Doors Down - When I'm Gone (posing as a song from Sunken's third album)
> 
> Actual songs used in this chapter:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tj4OgWq5OmE  
> Everlast - White Trash Beautiful

The contestants when they came back into the rehearsal areas found one of the studios locked, but trough the window they could see the star Fellan sit at a piano with someone from the crew. They just stood there in awe as he finally began playing.

“What’s gotten into everybody?” Timbaland asked when they entered the hotel and the lobby was empty.

“Rehearsals probably.” Simon noticed. “Let’s go take a look how they are all doing.”

When they came into the studio they noticed a large group of people standing at the window of a music room. Someone was playing and someone was singing. A beautiful serious teary song, in a beautiful deep crystal clear voice.

“Well I be damned.” Simon gasped as the three of them made it to the window.

“I told you he’s got a great voice.” Timbaland smirked happily, but then his smile faded when he noticed it was Fili playing.

“Just wow!” Alesha was stunned as well. When the song ended Simon knocked on the door, and Kili slowly walked up and opened it for them.

“You should take part.” Simon dully noticed.

“No need.” Kili just smiled. “We needed some time to relax, and music works best.” He let them in.

“Why do you keep spending time with this loser?” Timbaland hissed.

“It’s my job.” Kili smiled without explaining.

“Play something more.” Simon suggested with a smile.

Kili took a guitar and sat next to Fili. Slowly he just gazed at Fili and smiled, and he gently began playing. When Kili began singing and soon Fili joined in the judges could only sit there stunned, the gentle song reaching the depths of their souls.

“I can get you the best contract.” Timbaland told Kili in a firm voice.

“I don’t need a contract.” Kili just smiled back. “Fame and money don’t play a role in my life.” He told him in a slightly firmer voice.

“That was a beautiful romantic song, are you going to record it for the new album?” Alesha asked Fili calmly.

“Not sure what we’ll do with it. It’s off style.” Fili gazed at her.

“So what do you normally do with songs you think are unfit for the band?” Simon asked smartly.

“He’s got a huge pile of those at home.” Kili laughed gently.

“You should record them, sell them, do something.” Timbaland suggested.

“Maybe one day.” Fili told them calmly.

“Are you thinking of a solo career?” Alesha asked with a light smile.

“Not at all.” Fili replied cutting the topic.

“I think we need to handle your contestants.” Kili noticed gazing at the group of people standing at the window. He checked his laptop which was now plugged in with the equipment.

“So who do you want first?” Kili asked with a light smile, suggesting it was time for the judges to leave.

“Manning.” Fili replied curtly.

“One Jake Manning coming right up.” Kili smiled as the judges walked out and he called for the black boy.

\------

The boy stood there in shock when he heard his name being called by the crew member who just finished singing. He was shy in front of Fellan, but the friendly guy who could sing better than any of them was suddenly equally intimidating.

“Come on.” The crew member smiled at him and invited him in.

“So what song were you thinking for the semi finals?” Fellan gently asked him.

“I was thinking either ‘When I’m gone’ or ‘Wherever you will go’. “The boy slowly told him clearly very shy.

“Both from Sunken’s third album.” Kili noticed.

“My favourite.” The boy admitted.

“Let’s see what you can do, and then we’ll come back to songs, it would be best if you actually take something other than Sunken for next round, but it’s going to be your decision to make.” Fili told him and began playing tunes. The boy at first stood there shocked he was asked to do a singing exercise, but obediently began chanting the melodies. Sometimes his voice breaking down clearly not used to such training.

After twenty minutes of torturing the boy and getting to know his voice, Fili gazed at him in wonder. The boy had a good rock voice, strong and vibrant, he couldn’t do many sounds he himself used in his songs, but the way he adapted ‘Without you’ during the first audition he skipped all the moments when it would need to be used.

“So what song are you thinking?” Kili gently asked Fili with a lazy smile.

“You should surprise everyone to really make an impact, if you walk on stage and play the same types of tunes and songs, it would be as if you hadn’t progressed.” Fellan explained to the boy slowly. “Do you know ‘White trash beautiful?’” He finally asked.

“Everlast?” The boy gazed at him surprised.

“Let’s try it.” Fellan finally told him and passed him a guitar and he himself took another.

The first time both Fili and Kili helped him sing it and play it. When they finished the boy gazed at them surprised they actually helped him.

“Think about, you have three days, we’ll see you here tomorrow at ten am.” Kili told him and wrote his name on a piece of paper.

“Thank you!” The boy smiled and walked out feeling happy.

“Who’s next?” Kili asked him.

“That gospel group.” Fili told him easily.

The crowd standing at the window watching the rehearsal stood there in awe. They never though they would get a chance to sit down with Fellan and actually talk or play, so what the singer was doing for them was extraordinary. One by one he asked in all the singing groups, and singers. He would give sound tips, practise with them, show them how to prepare for the contest and give tips on song choices, but always stressing they had to make the final decision. He was nice, far nicer than during the auditions, and soon most of them saw that what they took as coldness was in fact honestly. Most groups would get an hour to show up during the next two days of rehearsals, and they greedily took their chance to work with such a star.

“Ask the blond to come after dinner.” Fili finally told Kili with a light smile, the day filled with music finally made him relax, he finally felt what he was doing there made some sense. “I’m hungry.” He accounted with a light smile. Kili had to use all his strength not to run up and kiss me right there in front of everybody.

“Sara Connelly?” Kili called her out. “Show up right after dinner.” He told her with a light smile, and saw the sad grin that she was omitted disappear.

“What about us?” One of the dance groups yelled.

“One second please!” Kili pulled his schedule and pen.

“Be ready to show what you’ve got at around 9 am.” He told the band. “But Fellan would like to remind you he’s a singer not dancer.” He told them firmly.

“We don’t mind!” The band members laughed.

“Cool.” Kili told them and wrote them into the list. Soon a few more artists of various kinds came up and asked for a bit of Fellan’s time to get ready for the show.

Kili later called in the hotel staff to bring dinner over to their suite and texted Alesha. After a few minutes she showed up with Simon.

“What a feast!” Simon gasped seeing all the food.

“I know my ways around staff and kitchens.” Kili smiled and motioned them to sit down.

“How is it that you get the better food and we get that fancy crap?” Simon asked.

“Fancy food is good, if you like sea food, raw food and things you have no idea what they are.” Kili told them. “That kind of food is good when you eat it once a year, and not every day.”

“Well they always want to give us the best.” Alesha noticed.

“And the best not always means what we would like to eat.” Simon noticed.

“Why not just go and tell them to bring something different?” Fellan slowly asked them, as Kili was putting a solid portion onto a plate.

“I tried that three seasons ago, and the result was a staggering ruined portion of fish and chips made out of a fish I cannot name, and a disgusting batter and chips made of carrots.” Simon complained.

“Well as long as I’m around I’ll make sure you get something normal.” Kili assured them, and feeling comfortable around them he just put a portion of food and motioned Fili to eat.

Alesha and Simon just glared at the fork and Kili calmly continued to feed Fellan.

“So tomorrow you’re going to continue helping them out?” Alesha slowly asked.

“That’s the plan.” Kili smiled and passed Fili another portion of food.

“So when did you two get married?” Alesha asked with a smile gazing at their hands.

Fili gazed at Kili and then back to her. “Almost six months now.” He admitted.

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting that.” Simon told them slowly.

“You’re the first person who drew such a conclusion.” Kili noticed with a gentle smile.

“And like the fourth and fifth person to know about it.” Fili noticed. “We’re not actually planning to make this information public.” He highlighted.

“Then why get married in the first place?” Alesha slowly asked.

“We both needed it.” Kili told her slowly.

“To feel more secure and safe.” Fili explained.

“So are these food problems a constant battle?” Alesha asked gently as Kili continued to feed Fili.

“Well it’s just he’s never hungry. It’s psycho somatic.” Kili explained. “You can say we’re both a bit strange.” He told them. “And as you can’t imagine I can’t really do this in public.”

“Logical.” Simon noticed. “So I assume you will help out till the end of the program?” He asked Kili.

“That’s my main goal right now.” Kili admitted with a wide smile.

“Sounds great!” Alesha smiled gladly.

\-------

Timbaland was relived to finally have some time alone. He ordered dinner to his room and pulled out his laptop. Some issues have been on his mind recently, and he had to make sure. He typed in Fellan into google and browsed the first few websites. He never really did that kind of stuff, trusting his ears and skills, most things journalists wrote was bullshit anyway.

He easily found the tiger photo and just grimaced at the happy face Fellan made and wondered how long it took to stage a photo like that. Then he stopped at the karaoke recording on YouTube. He watched and listened not really believing his ears, it was Fellan definitely, and the slim brunet singing with him could only be one person. So Fellan had been using the kid for a long time, Timberland concluded seeing the date of the video. Then he returned online and a photo in a tabloid made him stop. It was Fellan, and he was holding Kili, clearly the boy had tripped. The tabloid wrote a lot of bullshit about Fellan’s sexual preferences, about the boy asking who he was and what was their relation. Timbaland just grunted with annoyance. He gazed at the date of the photo over a year ago.

He had seen so many talents crushed down by jealous controlling stars. He had seen so many young people like that boy crushed. And one thing was for sure Timbaland intended to make sure this talented young man wouldn’t be the next one on the list. He wanted to make sure he would get somewhere, somewhere close to the top, even bigger than Fellan and that lousy Sunken band.

The next day he hunted for a time when he could talk with Kili alone. But it proved to be difficult. The boy was stuck with the practise with Fellan and the competitors. Then we would eat with them at the table, never really leaving Fellan’s side.

Then he decided to ask the hotel staff about the boy’s room, but they said they had no idea where he was staying. He finally got his chance as he spotted the boy walking on the top corridor of the hotel, where the judges suites were at.

“Kili?” He called him. “Can we talk for a moment?” He asked him into his room.

“What did you want to talk about?” The boy gazed at him slowly.

“I have no idea how much you get paid for this job, but boy you’ve got real talent. I came here trying to find someone who could become big, and I mean seriously big, and it’s not anyone from the auditions.” Timbaland spoke in a confident tone. “With the right songs, preparation, and promotion you would be the biggest name in the industry!”

“I’m not that talented...” Kili gasped surprised with the enthusiasm is Timbaland’s voice.

“You are! I have no idea why Fellan is keeping you down, you should spread your wings and reach for the sky.” Timbaland told him slowly.

“I don’t like when you talk about Fellan like that.” Kili told him slowly.

“I don’t like him, he’s a stuck up star. And he thinks he’s more than he really is.” Timbaland hissed.

“He’s much more than anyone else. He’s more talented, more musical, more phenomenal than anyone else in the world.” Kili immediately defended him.

“Why do you defend him? Can’t you see he’s using you?” Timbaland asked him in a spiteful tone.

“He’s not using me. He saved me.” Kili told him in a low tone. “Why do you hate him so much?”

“It’s a long story.” Timbaland said.

“And I’d like to listen to it.” Kili told him firmly.

“Fine.” Timbaland poured himself a whiskey. “I’ve been trying to get them to cooperate with my crew for the last five years. At first I thought it was just a matter of time, but then they just ignored me. When I finally managed to manoeuvre Jay Leno to set up a meeting with them, Fellan skipped town. Without any rational excuse or warning! I don’t know who the guy thinks he is, but no one set up Jay Leno!”

“That was actually my fault.” Kili noticed meekly.

“What?” Timbaland gasped.

“It was my fault they cancelled most of the events, and flew back to UK.” Kili slowly told him.

“Now you’ve got some explaining to do.” Timbaland noticed.

Kili just gasped and began pulling up his sleeves. And with tears in his eyes he showed the two still fresh wounds on his wrists.

“Why did you do it?” Timbaland immediately knew what those wounds meant.

“I was going through some difficult shit. My brother called him, and he dropped everything and flew to me.” Kili explained slowly.

“You love him.” Timbaland noticed in a dull voice.

“He did a lot of things for me.” Kili told him. “He means everything to me, so when you talk to him like that...” Kili gazed at him with a lot of anger.

“Are you sure he’s worth it?” Timbaland asked slowly.

“He’s the important person in the world to me.” Kili told him in a low voice.

“What’s worth being with someone who can’t even say out loud he’s with a boy? What’s worth being his assistant and not his boyfriend? By not saying it out loud it’s like he’s ashamed of you.” Timbaland noticed.

“He’s just shy.” Kili told him. “He keeps most things to himself, and he never informs the public about anything. He just values his privacy.”

“But that’s illogical, why become a star and never use it to your benefit?” Timbaland asked sipping on his whiskey.

“He doesn’t need more money.” Kili explained. “He avoids all kind of publicity, I actually forced him to do this.”

“You did?” Timbaland asked in a low voice.

“Will you please stop?” Kili begged with those huge amber eyes. “Please be nice to him, he doesn’t need any enemies.”

“Only on one condition.” Timbaland smiled at him. “You and him come and do a song with my new singer. I would rather only have you, but since it seems to be a joint deal, I’ll take you both.”

“I’ll arrange it.” Kili smiled confidently.

“One last thing.” Timbaland asked as Kili was about to leave.

“Ask away.” Kili told him.

“What’s your last name?” Timbaland asked with a smile.

Then he saw the most radiant smile on Kili’s face. “The same as Fellan’s.” He smiled and after a moment explained. “We got married six months ago.” He finally confessed deciding to trust the producer.

Timbaland just smiled and drank the rest of the whiskey in one go. “Just fucking great. So what’s his name?”

“Do you swear to never tell anyone?” Kili gazed at him trying to judge if he can trust him or not, and somehow deep inside he could feel he could trust him.

“I swear.” Timbaland said in a low voice.

“Oakenshield.” Kili told him with a huge smirk and watched the pure shock on Timbaland’s face.

“Well I’ll be damned.” Timbaland gasped when the door closed.

 


	22. Chapter 22

The next few days were thrilling for Fili, he could sing all day, but the most important thing was Kili. Kili always at his side singing or playing with him. He could only smile at how well Kili could play just after a few months of practise. The rehearsals with the contestants proved to be fun, even watching the dancers get ready for their routines was fun.

The real focus was the program. The first day of filming, filming live and knowing everyone would listen to his every word and watch his every move. It was unnerving but Simon and Alesha were also supporting him. He was a bit annoyed with Kili for making a deal with Timbaland, but the producer was much nicer now, and Fili was hoping their cooperation on stage will be smooth.

Kili, his beloved trustworthy spouse, his reason to live, went and talked with Timbaland behind his back. Convinced the guy to make it easier for him, but told him a bit too much at the same time. Fili praised the non disclosure agreement everyone had to sign. At least they could eat together in one of the private room, and Kili would simply act naturally around him. Feed him, joke with him and smile with him with so much love and warmth that life just seemed perfect.

The first day was most difficult, Kili had another fight with the stylist and after the support of Simon they managed to get Fili ready for the show. He sat on the far edge of the table next to Alesha and then Timbaland and Simon. He knew from Kili that the auditions were cut up and showed in three fast episodes presenting only some of the worst and some of the best auditions. Kili kept saying that the best was still the audition when he sang to the girl. The girl after some tips and practise was getting better and Kili was betting she would get to the top.

The first show went by fast, during the auditions they had to sit all day, while filming an episode was only around three or four hours. Feeling that Timbaland was no longer there to get him, Fili relaxed and acted like himself. When something was funny he would laugh, when something was horrible he would grimace. He tried to talk more, as he practised over the last days with Kili. Meeting all the competitors and spending at least some time with everybody gave him the ease to talk to them. Even when he would tell them what they did wrong, he saw smiles. They even would thank him for the tips and criticism.

It went much faster then they all wanted it too, and somewhere in the middle Fili realised we would miss it. He would miss the stage, he would miss the rehearsals and training the contestants. His bad emotions connected with the show long gone, and his conversations with Timbaland, although still not overly friendly, proved to be stimulating and challenging.

When it was all over he felt sad to say goodbye to all the contestants and judges, but it was time to move on. Going home he felt honestly happy, and the way Kili kept joking that X Factor will be even more fun, made Fili feel like his life made a huge change. His bitterness towards Thorin slowly fading away, and Kili kept assuring him he wasn’t mad at Thorin any longer as well.

After a week of trying to ease down and relax, Kili called Bilbo and asked if the offer to go on holiday together was still on.

“We lost hope you guys would call us!” Bilbo smiled happily. “We were planning to leave on Saturday.” He told him.

“In three days?” Kili yelped. “And you weren’t going to call us?”

“I was, but you know how it is. So are you coming?” Bilbo asked lightly.

“We’ll be there!” Kili told him in a light voice.

“Let’s pack.” Fili told him with a wide smile as Kili told him the news.

“I love you!” Kili kissed him and in a fast jump ran towards the wardrobe to pull out some suitcases.

\-----

When they arrived at the airport to board Thorin’s private jet, Kili realised he hadn’t thought of his studies the last weeks at all. And he realised he skipped a bit too many classes... Fili immediately caught the drop of mood and held his hand firmly, thinking only of getting Kili alone to confront his fears.

In Athens they got into a helicopter, making Frodo gasp with enthusiasm he sat in Thorin’s lap and watched the changing view with wide eyes.

“You look like father and son.” Fili suddenly noticed.

“Thank you...” Thorin gently kissed the boy’s curly locks. Bilbo and Kili gazed at them feeling tears come to their eyes. Their crazy reconstructed family was finally like a real family.

“This place is just beautiful!” Bilbo gasped seeing the private island.

Kili gazed at it warily. “Just how fucking rich are you?” He hissed Thorin.

“More than me.” Fili added with a smirk.

“Good, so if Bilbo goes bankrupt you’ll be able to keep him.” Kili noticed the only real positive side for him.

“I would.” Thorin admitted with a light smile.

“So are we going to stay there?” Frodo pointed his finger at the house on the island.

“Yup!” Fili told him with a huge smile.

“I missed you so much!” Frodo gasped and jumped into Kili’s lap.

“We both missed you little rabbit.” Frodo hugged the boy sitting in Kili’s lap.

“I’m so happy you’re here...” The small boy held on to both happily.

“I bet you’re happy you’re off school for a few days...” Kili noticed and hugged him tightly, the boy nodded and hid his head in Kili’s shoulder.

“What’s wrong little rabbit?” Fili gently embraced them both, now he had a double feeling that something was bothering both Kili and Frodo.

The boy mumbled something. “Speak up... we’re both here for you...” Fili encouraged him gently stroking his hair.

“What’s a fag?” The boy finally asked with tears in his eyes causing shock on all four adult faces.

“Where did you hear that?” Bilbo spoke before Thorin would explode.

“Some kids at school called me that... They said you’re a pervert and that social care should take me away... I don’t want to be anywhere else but with you...” The boy sobbed in Kili’s arms.

“Thorin...” Fili gazed at his uncle. “We’ll have to handle this. Call Gloin to transfer schools for Frodo.”

“Do you think they found out about Kili?” Bilbo was really worried.

“No way.” Thorin mumbled. “It’s just about you and me probably, and I won’t let anyone get away with it.”

“So I won’t have to go back there?” Frodo asked in a shacking voice.

“Never.” Thorin assured him firmly and reached out to the boy who eagerly sat in his lap. “We love you Frodo and we’ll all protect you.”

“We were thinking of changing schools anyway, but we wanted to wait till the end of the school year, so we’ll just speed up plans a bit.” Bilbo assured the boy with a gentle smile.

“What about the social services?” Kili asked worried.

“We’ll let Gloin handle them. He’s got talent for all kinds of complicated issues.” Thorin assured him calmly.

“I love you Thorin.” Frodo held onto him tightly.

“We love you too little rabbit.” Thorin held the boy tightly.

When they finally landed and the staff carried their things to the house, Bilbo felt that his world changed dramatically the last months. This new relationship brought a lot of trouble, stress and tears, but a lot of happiness at the same time. As he watched Frodo cling to Thorin, he could wish they were a real family forever.

“What are you thinking about Darling?” Thorin embraced him gently as the boys ran off towards the beach.

“I’m glad you’re in my life.” Bilbo finally admitted.

“So you’re not mad at me anymore?” Thorin just had to make sure.

“How can I be mad at you? Even Kili and Fili forgave you.” Bilbo kissed him and snuggled into his arms.

“So can I transfer Frodo to the school near my house? Fili used to go there, it’s a good private school and believe me no one will dare call him any strange names.” Thorin gently asked.

“I’d like that.” Bilbo admitted. “But I’m still worried about social services.”

“Don’t you dare worry about anything. I’ve got the best lawyers, and the best contact anywhere, we’ll handle everything together.” Thorin assured him and kissed him deeply. “I think we got some time...” He noticed with an evil smirk.

“We can’t reject such an opportunity can we?” Bilbo gently noticed and let Thorin guide him to their bedroom.

The week on the island passed very fast. Fili and Kili spent a lot of time with Frodo giving Bilbo and Thorin some privacy the couple really needed. Kili and Fili loved just being together holding hands, playing around, not thinking about any duties or worries. At first Fili had a huge battle about taking Kili’s long sleeved shirts off, but because it was just the five of them soon he eased to wearing normal t-shirts. He thrived stealing Fili’s favourite clothes and Fili let him take whatever he wanted.

As they were about to return they all felt nostalgic, and they agreed they had to come again in summer.

Arriving back to gloomy London meant a lot of changes. Thorin and Bilbo had a meeting with Thorin’s lawyers who in the meantime got some of the papers done at the new school, but lots of documents required Bilbo’s signatures.

Going to Frodo’s old school was pretty stressful for Bilbo, the headmaster asking lots of nosy personal questions, but Gloin sensing the direction of the conversation stopped any improper questions and firmly stated what the law said and demanded the documents. Soon it turned out that someone had in fact notified social services that Frodo had been molested by his guardian, and as it turned out their old social worker retried and a new very eager one was appointed. If not for Thorin, his firm position, and his lawyers, Frodo would have been taken away right then. But Thorin just had to do a few phone calls and the overly eager social worker got senior supervision, someone who actually knew what kind of work Bilbo did, someone who had an idea about the family troubles. After many meetings with lawyers, the case nearly landed in court again, but Thorin did not let anyone take Frodo away not even for one minute. After psychological evaluation it was proven the boy was not molested, and more so the opinion stated that the boy was harassed and mistreated by other children at his former school, so instead of a court case about parental rights, the school had a case for negligent care.

In the mean time Kili went to university to sort his studies out. He missed out a few weeks, so his teachers were very surprised to see him there at all, with huge difficulty he explained that he wanted to continue, but it wasn’t as easy. He had to take some extra exams and write some extra papers. Considering that the trip to the US was approaching fast Kili pressed hard to get it done before that. Stressing himself out a lot, and spending all days studying and making up for the lost time.

When he was finally done and the last exams moved to the beginning of September Kili could finally breathe. Fili made sure he knew just how much he admired and supported him, easing all the stress with kisses and tender care. They arranged with Timbaland the promised recording session and later they contacted the X Factor producers. First they flew to Los Angeles where Timbaland’s studio was at, to their surprised Timbaland’s assistant picked them up at the airport and instead of driving them to a hotel, he took them to the music producer’s house.

“Hey!” Timbaland greeted Kili enthusiastically. “I hope you don’t mind, this is much more private and comfortable than any hotel.” He showed them around the posh elegant house, and showed them to their rooms.

“Use whatever you want, eat whatever you like. Here are the car keys to one of the SUV’s in the driveway.” He gave Kili the keys. “I hope one of you can handle driving on the ‘right’ side.” He joked.

“I’ll do fine.” Fellan assured him.

“So tomorrow we’re at the studio.” Timbaland told them as they sat down in the comfortable living room eating a light dinner. “Here’s the song, but we can make some changes if you like.” He gazed them some papers and a CD. “I’ll drive you to the studio tomorrow, we should wrap everything in one day.” He assured them. “Later we’ll talk about future plans and I’ll show you around.”

“Sounds great.” Kili smiled happily. “I’ve never been to LA before.”

“I’ve been here like ten times, but I can’t say I’ve seen much.” Fili admitted.

“I’ve got some invitations to some big events so if you have the time we could go.” Timbaland smiled.

“We’ve got like five days, later we have to get to Philadelphia for X Factor.” Kili told him with a smile.

“X Factor?” Timbaland laughed. “We can fly there together, I’m also working as a judge there.” He smiled at Fili.

“One more session of snipping and hissing.” The blond laughed.

“You’re not so bad...” Timbaland finally admitted. “Although I still prefer your assistant.” He smiled at the brunet. “Go get some rest and we’re moving out first thing in the morning.”

“Thank you!” Kili smiled and pulled Fili towards their room.

“I admit he can be nice.” Fili noticed grimly as they went to bed.

“I’m not sleepy...” Kili complained.

“Time change...” Fili noticed. “That simply means I need to get you tired...” He noticed and embraced Kili in a more sensual way.

“You’re confident you can achieve that?” Kili noticed with a smirk.

“Let’s find out...” Fili kissed a trail down Kili’s neck and chest. He just loved the way Kili reacted to his kisses and touch. He just loved Kili with all his heart.

“I love you!” Kili ground impatiently against him.

 


	23. Chapter 23

They got up first thing in the morning, and Fili focused on the song and Kili on making a delicious breakfast. The staff was a bit surprised someone else was cooking, but they had no right to say anything.

“Is there some for me?” Timbaland asked them.

“Of course!” Kili smiled putting a plate with a delicious smelling frittata in front of the producer.

“So how do you like the song?” He asked Fili.

“It’s okay.” Fili admitted. “But I’d like to make a few changes.”

“Fine, whatever!” Timbaland agreed. “Eowyn is always late, so we have like an hour to get there.” He sipped on the delicious coffee. “Damn you’re phenomenal! No wonder you keep him around so much!”

“So that’s why you invited us over?” Fili noticed with a smile.

“You saw through my master plan!” Timbaland laughed. “Anyway what’s that smell?”

“Guess?” Kili asked.

“Muffins?” Timbaland focused his nose. “No, cookies...”

“Marzipan biscuits.” Kili corrected him.

“Damn it, if you weren’t married I would marry you!” Timbaland laughed.

“Hands off!” Fili laughed gently.

“Let’s get going.” Timbaland grabbed his car keys. “It’s going to be a fun day!” He chanted.

Arriving at the studio the day proved a little less fun.

Eowyn the singer Timbaland was now promoting was a talented girl, but the moment she gazed at Fili her eyes shone with such admiration and lust Kili grimaced. She later refused any changes to the song, and bluntly refused singing with the brunet as Timbaland had planned out. It took Fili’s sour mood and face to finally stop her from stubbornly standing her ground.

With every passing hour she was disappointed as hell, she had imagined that when he would come over than he’ll immediately fall in love with her, sweep her off her feet and love everything she did. Now she sat there and concluded she was an idiot. His assistant wasn’t leaving his side not even for a minute. She had no idea why Timbaland insisted on a trio, and why some nameless boy would sing on her record. She had no idea why Fellan did not respond to her flirting, after nearly four hours of pointless discussions Timbaland told the boys to sing the song themselves and placed her in the control room.

“I thought that song was going to be mine...” Eowyn noticed grimly.

“I’m trying to prove a point here.” Timbaland hushed her and turned on the music. She was so used to getting what she wanted that she just gasped annoyed. Then she looked startled as the brunet began singing. His voice was simply beautiful, breathtaking, and when Fellan joined in with his part Eowyn suddenly realised they sang in sync. That one try at the studio was already record quality.

“Now will get in there and sing your part, or are you going to sulk all day princess?” Timbaland joked.

“Fine!” Eowyn hissed and went into the studio. They just gazed at her and made some space for her next to Kili. It took just one try to get the song recorded the way Timbaland wanted it.

“Great!” Timbaland noticed. “Thank you we’re done for the day!”

Eowyn wanted to catch Fellan alone for a moment but seeing the brunet next to him all the time, she just pushed her number into his hand.

“Fucking great...” Fellan hissed and gave the note to Kili.

“Let’s go!” Timbaland winked at them and led them to his car. “So there is a huge party at Universal studios tonight, care to come with me?”

“What kind of party?” Fellan asked.

“A few film stars, film directors, some musicians and lots of rich people.” Timbaland explained.

“We’re not really much into stuff like that.” Kili told him slowly.

“We both don’t drink.” Fili told him firmly.

Timbaland gazed at them surprised. “Well there is also some kind of charity concert, we could go to that instead. Less fun, good food and good music.”

“Sounds better.” Fellan smiled.

After a few hours of resting and talking about music, Timbaland urged them to change clothes and go to the charity concert. When they came down dressed in the most posh clothes they had with them he just whistled. “No wonder all the women swarm you.” He joked.

“Don’t you even dare mention that!” Fili laughed.

“Let’s go!” Timbaland smiled at them.

The concert was good, even Fili had to admit it. The musicians played well, Timbaland seemed a bit bored because it wasn’t his type of music at all, but even he had to admit they were good.

“Hi!” Eowyn’s voice startled them.

“Hi!” Timbaland told her gently, but neither Fellan nor Kili didn’t reply.

“What are you doing here?” She asked them with a smile and sat down next to Fellan. “So how long are you going to be in LA?” She gazed at the blond flirtatiously.

“We’re leaving soon.” Fili cut the explanation short.

“Are you going back to UK?” She asked smiling.

“Not yet.” Fili did not elaborate again, but she didn’t seem to notice.

“Maybe we could record some more songs together? You’re one of the best singers out there!” She praised him and gazed with awe into his deep blue eyes.

“My schedule is pretty full.” Fili told her coldly.

“Where are you staying maybe we could go and have a drink together?” Eowyn proposed again not really noticing Fili was not interested and Kili’s eyes were so furious they became much darker than normal.

Kili couldn’t take it anymore, so he put his hand on Fili’s shoulder and told him calmly. “We should get going.” The gentle innocent meaningless touch, conveyed so much meaning for Fili it seemed as intimate as kissing or holding hands in public. It was just what he needed. The reassurance Kili was there.

“We should. Call my agent and maybe he’ll find some time in my schedule, maybe next year?” Fili brushed her off with ease.

“Take care darling.” Timbaland bid her goodbye, and she just sat there stunned.

“We’d like to get there earlier.” Kili told Timbaland as they were driving back.

“I still need to handle a few things before going to X Factor, but you can do whatever you both like.” Timbaland told them.

“So you won’t get offended?” Fili hissed.

“And fight the whole X Factor with you?” Timbaland laughed. “Nah! Have some fun before X Factor comes up...”

“Great!” Fili noticed. “We’ll catch a plane in the morning.” He made the decision.

The next day they caught a flight to Philadelphia and arrived at the posh hotel suite Fellan got to the time of filming X Factor. The producers called him like ten times asking if he needed anything else, but after a few meetings all the details were set. The last four days before the program they spend on doing normal tourist stuff. They went around the town, calmly and anonymously. Wearing ordinary clothes and holding hands. They did some shopping, some sightseeing, and they simply relaxed.

When the first day of the auditions was slowly coming up Timbaland greeted them along with Simon and L.A. Reid. The second American producer was much more nice at the start than Timbaland, he immediately made a good impression on the blond singer.

“So who’s this?” LA asked gazing at Kili.

“He’s our eyes and ears.” Simon joked. “Fellan’s personal assistant, who has a tendency to make sure we all eat, sleep and do our job.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to sing this time?” Timbaland asked with a smile.

“He can sing too?” LA asked with a smile.

“Like an angel...” Simon smiled.

“He’s no angel!” Fellan smiled happily.

“Fine joke all you like!” Kili laughed it up. “So any wishes?” Kili pulled out his phone ready to take notes.

“Normal food for starters!” Simon gasped at him.

“Longer lunch and dinner breaks.” Timbaland added.

“Already taken care of.” Kili smiled.

“Muffins?” Simon asked with puppy eyes.

“Taken care of.” Kili smiled radiantly.

“Hell, I’m taking you to all these programs if we get him in the package!” Simon declared. “Too bad I’m not gay, or I’d be in love!”

“Funny I said exactly the same thing just a week a go!” Timbaland laughed.

“You joked, you’d marry him...” Fili reminded him.

“True!” Timbaland smiled. “Too bad he’s already married!”

“Too bad!” Simon agreed gazing at the radiantly happy couple.

“So...” LA quickly made the connection.

“Confidentially agreement.” Fili calmly reminded him.

“I get it.” LA smiled.

“So anything more to the list?” Kili wanted to make sure.

“Not yet.” Timbaland smiled. “But we’ll tell you as soon as anything comes up.”

“Great!” Kili smiled. “So I’m going to do what I always do...” He smirked happily.

“Which is?” LA asked with a smile.

“Snoop around and poke his nose into everything.” Simon laughed. “And get us the best first hand information.”

“Sounds great to me.” LA gazed at the boy with a smile.

One of the producers soon came in and placed some plans on the table, and Kili took his chance to change location, after sending an apologetic smile to Fili.

After long discussion with the producers and staff, Fili had a meeting with a stylist, fortunately Kili quickly came over to say what they wanted because Fili would otherwise be dressed in black again. Kili had his way around people, and soon the American stylist ,Lindir, had to give in just like the British one before him. The obviously gay stylist kept gazing at Fili with a flirtatious spark in his eyes, but the cold way the assistant was looking stopped any attempt.

“Don’t encourage him...” Kili growled at Fili.

“I won’t...” Fili noticed.

When Lindir came back a few minutes later with a huge pile of clothes, and he began pushing clothes at Fili, first Kili took everything into his hands and decided if it was worth their time or not.

“Maybe this?” The stylist pulled out a classic bluish t-shirt.

“You know we could just go shopping... I think we’d make a better selection...” Kili growled.

“You might be right...” Fili noticed grimly gazing at the clothes.

“I have no idea how you do these things in Britain, but here you have to go well prepared for the stage.” The stylist noticed dully tired with the resistance.

“He has to feel like himself and comfortable.” Kili told him stubbornly. “Even if that means wearing jeans and hoodies and t-shirts to every episode.”

“What?” The stylist gasped shocked. “You can’t make the most handsome guy on the planet take part in a TV show in casual clothes!”

“We did that for Britain’s Got Talent.” Kili noticed dryly.

“I admit that tiger photo was cute.” The stylist admitted. “But this is the biggest TV show in America!”

“He has to feel comfortable otherwise he won’t be comfortable on stage!” Kili almost yelled at the stylist. “He has to feel confident and crazy clothes will add stress!”

“Let’s make a deal, You will try on ten things no fussing and mumbling, and if nothing feels right, we’ll select sets of t-shirt and jeans.” Lindir insisted.

“Lunch first!” Kili decided. “I’m hungry!”

“Fine, we’ll talk about what you want during lunch.” Lindir noticed.

“We’re eating lunch, you might as well have a break!” Kili smiled and pulled Fili away from the studio.

“Mahal I was about to scream!” Fili complained. “Without you I’d be dressed up as a drag queen in no time!”

“Come on!” Kili pulled him towards the elevator. “Just breathe!” He told him noticing the way Fili’s hand was shacking.

“I’m trying...” Fili gazed to the side.

As the elevator stopped and other passengers got off, Kili gazed at Fili with a spark in his eyes. The moment the door closed and they were along he wrapped his arm around Fili and planted a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Damn I love when you do that... but they have cameras in places like this.” Fili gently pulled away.

“Was worth seeing your smile.” Kili blushed and held his hand.

When they reached Fili’s suite they ordered some lunch to the room. Kili chose something and turned around to him with a huge smile.

“We got like ten minutes...” He gazed at him flirtatiously, he gently slid down his jeans and bent forward. And with an evil smirk he opened the door to the bedroom.

“That’s not enough time...” Fili grimaced.

“Are you going to fuck me or not?” Kili smiled at him.

“To hell with everything!” Fili smiled and rushed to join him in the bedroom.

 


	24. Chapter 24

When they finally came down to the studio and changing room, they were satiated, well fed, and radiantly happy. They found Lindir impatiently biting down his nails and waiting for them in the changing room surrounded by tones of clothes.

“So did you select something?” Fili asked him with a smile.

“Yes.” The stylist replied coldly, clearly slight offended he had to wait.

Kili sat down and the stylist pushed the first set at Fellan and sat down as well waiting.

“How is it?” Kili asked gently as Fili was clearly stuck in the changing room.

“No!” Fili growled.

“Nr 2.” Kili told the stylist firmly. He took the clothes from the stylist and gave them to Fili in the changing room.

After the sixth no, when Fili did not even let them look Kili felt curious and with number seven he simply walked in.

“What wrong with this set?” He asked gently taking in the way Fili looked. He looked stunning, dashing and extremely handsome in the semi casual suit, with a nice blue shirt.

“I just can’t...” Fili had tears in his eyes. “It’s not me... I can’t breathe in this...”

“Relax...” Kili gently kissed his cheek. “Change back to you normal clothes and I’ll deal with your stylist, come to the cafeteria in like ten minutes.” He went back to the impatiently, and extremely nervous stylist.

“We have a problem.” Kili told him gently, taking in the way the stylist was equally on the verge of a panic attack just like Fili. “We need to talk.” He pulled the stylist out of the changing room and into the cafeteria.

As the waiter brought in three coffees and a plate of muffins, Kili gazed at Lindir.

“You desperately want this job, don’t you?” He asked slowly.

“It’s my big chance... and because I can’t seem to find anything for him...” Lindir looked at the coffee feeling desperate.

“It’s not that he doesn’t look good in them.” Kili gently told him. “It’s about how he feels in them. He might seem a huge star, famous and self confident. But on the inside he’s not very outgoing. In order for him to take part in this show, is to make him feel comfortable in every aspect. Otherwise he won’t speak on stage.”

“What?” Lindir gazed at him surprised.

“With other people clothes are just clothes, but he has a tendency to get stressed, and then he gets blocked. It’s my job to reduce anything that might cause stress.” Kili told him firmly.

“So you mean to say, this whole trying on clothes and selecting... he might not take part in the show at all?” Lindir noticed with fear.

“He already signed the contract, it’s more like he won’t be himself and he’ll block himself during the show.” Kili clarified.

“So jeans, t-shirts and hoodies?” Lindir gazed at him with hopelessness in his eyes. “How did you manage with Britain’s Got Talent?” He suddenly noticed.

“He wore his own clothes.” Kili admitted. “At his London home he has a huge selection.”

“So what now?” Lindir gazed at him hopelessly.

“You will take a look at the things I packed for this issue, and we’ll go shopping tomorrow morning.” Kili told him.

“Like normal shopping?” Lindir gazed at him surprised.

“Yup!” Kili smiled seeing Fili finally arrive. The blond sat right next to him and grabbed his coffee and a muffin.

“So we’re checking your suitcase first?” Lindir asked gently.

“After another muffin!” Kili announced and pushed another at Fili.

“Let’s go...” Fili shrugged his shoulders.

When they arrived at the suite and Kili patiently showed Lindir into ‘Fili’s wardrobe’. Fili sat on the bed and watched as Kili carried and put onto the bed some things chosen by the stylist. To Fili’s amusement two of the t-shirts on the bed were in fact Kili’s, not that he was planning to complain. He loved stealing Kili’s clothes anyway, and being as slim as he was now he could easily wear Kili’s jeans if he ignored their length.

Finally they came back and Lindir told Fili what to try on with what.

The first set, Fili’s tight fitting black jeans with Kili’s classic white t-shirt with Sunken sign on the front.

“I wonder why you have a t-shirt of your own band in your closet, but who cares, it looks great.” Lindir noticed. “Do you mind if I add some jewellery?”

“I do.” Fili hissed.

“Fucking great.” Lindir hissed.

“So set one approved?” Kili asked Fili gently.

“Approved.” Fili gazed at him with a bright spark in his deep blue eyes.

“So set nr 2?” Kili suggested and Lindir pushed something at Fili, who rushed to the bathroom.

Kili lazily leaned against the bed feeling at home. When Fili showed up with classic blue jeans and a black t-shirt with a strange zebra pattern.

“I don’t remember this one...” Fili gazed at the t-shirt and then at Kili.

“Your own wardrobe can surprise you.” Kili grinned at him widely.

“It will look great on TV.” Lindir noticed. “The pattern will seem psychedelic and very artistic.”

“Approved?” Fili asked Kili slowly.

“Approved.” Kili folded his legs on the bed and nodded with encouragement.

“Nr 3.” Lindir gasped and gave him another set of clothes.

When Fili came back Kili began laughing. He was dressed in Kili’s clothes completely. His tightest back jeans, and a white t-shirt with a nice tree on the front with a single bird on the top.

“Now we just fold the jeans up...” Lindir knelt on the floor, and in a few swift moves he was done.

Kili was giggling like crazy on the bed.

“What so funny?” Fili asked crossly.

“Nothing...” Kili kept giggling.

“You little piece of shit!” Fili growled at him and threw a pillow at him.

“Nr 4?” Kili gasped in between attacks.

“Nr 4.” Lindir passed the clothes and gazed surprised at how much the assistant was comfortable around his boss.

When Fili came back in nr 4, Kili motioned him to turn around. He was wearing another of Kili’s pairs of jeans, and one of his own hoodies, soft and blue as his eyes. Kili gazed at him with dreamy eyes.

“You almost look like at the tiger session.” He smiled at Fili remember the warm happy moment. Fili gazed at his wide warm eyes with wonder, and he wished they were alone. Lindir was gazing from one to another with surprise.

“I like it, but we’ve already used this.” Fili noticed.

“So we’re going shopping?” Lindir asked gently.

“Seems so. How many sets do you think we need?” Kili asked Lindir curiously.

“Nine days of auditions, then ten episodes.” Kili counted.

“Each judge has a wardrobe of at least thirty different sets of clothes.” Lindir told them in a hollow voice.

“Thirty? If we manage to get fifteen it will be a miracle.” Kili noticed and began giggling again. “So what are we waiting for?” He asked with a smile and pulled Fili into the wardrobe.

“Let’s go...” When they came back Kili announced.

“Well I certainly wasn’t expecting that.” Lindir noticed seeing Fili in his normal stuff. He looked like any ordinary young man, a baseball cap on his head, his hair hidden and a pair of sunglasses. In ordinary jeans, a white t-shirt he looked like everyone else. A handsome everyone else.

Kili in a black t-shirt and tight black jeans didn’t stand out as well. So he just smirked at the stylist. “Ready to hit the shops?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Lindir smiled.

After four hours of going around the most posh shops, they finally hit a normal shopping centre. Lindir chose quite a lot of things for Fili and Kili just kept grinning like mad.

“I’ll steal them from you later anyway!” Kili whispered to Fili’s ear as they were carrying the bags to the taxi.

“So I’ll come by tomorrow morning and we’ll set the clothes.” Lindir told them.

“Fine!” Fili told him relieved he wouldn’t have to wear any fancy uncomfortable things.

When they finally arrived at their suite they just locked the door dropped the bags and rushed into the bedroom sharing fiery kisses on the way.

“I need you so much.... I’m fucking sick of pretending you’re just my assistant.” Fili gasped as he ground against Kili impatiently.

“What do you mean?” Kili asked him.

“I’m sick and tired of all those people molesting me. I’m sick and tired of all those people trying to pick me up...” Fili told him gently. “I want you, and only you. We’re married and only a handful of people know about it. I just want to hold your hand and get a kiss not worrying about if it’s in public or not.”

“We kept it secret just like Erebor, the last name and everything else.” Kili noticed.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have.” Fili kissed him feverishly. “I’m tired of hiding.”

“Then stop hiding.” Kili smiled.

“You won’t be scared if I kiss you in public?” Fili asked gently.

“I’d do anything to be with you, the closer the better.” Kili told him. “To hell with the world.” He kissed him back.

\------

Lindir stood at the door of the suite feeling desperate. This job was the most stressful in his life, but somehow he had a feeling the demands set by Fellan were not whims, but psychological needs. He knew lots of fucked up people, he had lots of contacts with doctors and psychiatrist to immediately know behind the demand to make Fellan comfortable on stage was hidden a deep need to ease his tension. Fellan was awfully nice, sincere, but Lindir saw that he was extremely shy and had problems with voicing what he wanted. Contrary to his assistant who seemed to be his opposite. Outgoing, pushy, determined, he fawned over Fellan with some kind of insistence and dedication he never saw in any assistant.

He finally got the courage to knock on the door. After a moment Kili opened the door and invited him in, he was dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie and his hair was awfully wet.

“Did you have breakfast?” Kili asked him politely as Lindir dropped some more stuff he brought in.

“No time we have to finish by eleven.” Lindir gasped at him.

“Sit down and eat with us.” Kili pushed him at the extra chair in front of a fully laid table.

“Hi!” Fellan walked in lazily, with wet hair and a sleepy face.

“Coffee...” Kili gave him a cup with a smile.

“Just what I need...” Fili smiled to him warmly.

“Eggs or sandwich?” Kili asked him with a gentle smile.

“Not hungry...” Fili complained.

“Sorry he’s always this grumpy in the morning.” Kili smiled at the stylist apologetically. “Did you have to sign a non disclosure agreement?”

“All the staff had to.” Lindir replied not sure what the boy wanted.

“Great!” Kili just pushed his chair much closer to Fellan. Sitting much closer than socially acceptable, he rested his legs in Fellan’s lap and began feeding him scrambled eggs.

“Not hungry...” Fellan complained in a low voice.

“Shut the fuck up and eat.” The assistant growled at him and pushed a piece of pancake at him. Then he did the one thing Lindir could not comprehend, he ate a bit himself and then pushed more at Fellan. Using the same plate and fork. The assistant glare at him, and suddenly he understood why he reminded him about the nondisclosure agreement.

“It seems clothes are not the only problem?” Lindir gently asked.

“The tip of the iceberg.” The assistant grunted trying to force feed Fellan a bit more.

“Enough...” Fellan finally grunted.

“Less than half of what you should eat for breakfast...” Kili complained. “And knowing you you’ll avoid eating lunch and then half eat dinner...” He growled and took a piece of pancake himself and pushed more at Fellan. Fellan just gasped and obediently ate.

Lindir slowly took a plate and put himself a portion of delicious looking poached eggs with asparagus.

“So after we eat we’re setting as many sets of clothes as possible, I’ll make sure they are all washed and bagged and waiting at your changing room.” Lindir told them. “We have to pick something for today, first for the meeting with producers and later you have to began the first auditions.”

“Just one rule, comfortable and normal.” Kili insisted.

“What about hairstyle and things like that.” Lindir asked slowly.

“No makeup apart from foundation.” Kili insisted. “He doesn’t change his hairstyle.”

“I know you have to keep your more private look, but we can make it look a lot better.” Lindir told them. “Without going crazy and cutting it all.”

“And who would do that? You or some hairdresser?” Fellan suddenly asked.

“I would do it personally.” Lindir immediately told them. “I began as a hairdresser and makeup artist.”

“We’ll think about.” Kili slowly told him. “If so then we’ll do it between the auditions and the main program.”

“That’s actually a pretty good idea.” Lindir noticed.

Fili gazed at Kili with a strange smirk, so intimate and loving, that Lindir suddenly realised their relations were far more complex than assistant and star. And when Fellan leaned forward and kissed the corner of Kili’s lips licking off a bit of maple syrup, Lindir felt a huge wave of heat. He gazed at Fellan’s hand cupping his assistant’s face and noticed the simple silver band, and then to Kili’s hand with a matching silver ring. And then realization struck him.

“So the non disclosure agreement?” Lindir gasped as Kili gazed at him a bit spooked.

Then the boy just smiled and nodded, and in a very intimate way he gently stroked Fellan’s golden locks. “I love his hair, so if you cut too much...” He glared at Lindir with a warning.

“I’ll be careful.” Lindir quickly nodded.

“Let’s get the clothes done. Time is running out.” Fellan noticed with regret.

 


	25. Chapter 25

The first auditions went smooth. Fili was feeling comfortable, the experience of Britain’s got Talent, the clothes he really liked. Kili’s t-shirt... It all made him feel at home. Timbaland was snapping, but it wasn’t mean, it was a ploy to make the show more interesting, so Fellan snapped back and they played like that making the show very interesting.

Kili was doing his thing, so after snooping around, gathering all the information he needed, poking his nose at the much more advanced computer system than in Britain, he finally settled in the studio with Fili’s laptop and focused on listening in and writing his final project for university.

Aragorn was sitting at the main computer console feeling something was wrong. He was a high tech computer expert, but his main focus was computer security. The system he devised was one of the best in the world, but something was not right. Around an hour after they began filming the system temporarily detected an unclassified hot point and then nothing. He loved having control, and the sudden feeling he didn’t have control ruined his mood for the whole day. Only authorised personnel had clearance to access the mainframe, and a random extra hot spot meant trouble. He spent all day checking the ports, considering it might be a hacker from the outside. Lots of TV companies wanted to discredit the program, and there were hacking attempts before from obsessive fans. In the middle of checking he realised the attack came from the inside.

After the lunch break, and forcing Fili to eat a bit, and chatting with Timbaland and Simon and the other judge LA, Kili returned to his post. He was slowly realising that the food would be a greater problem here. He himself could eat anything, but Fili loved a certain variety of dishes, a variety of tastes and spices, and the chefs here didn’t pinpoint what he needed. And if Fili didn’t like the food, there was no way in hell to force him to eat. So instead of working on his project, he found the kitchen, using Fili’s clearance he shooed away a chef and made himself some space in the kitchen. The crazy chef Gollum did not like a stranger in his kitchen, but Kili did not step down. Soon Kili got used to the crazy man’s mumbling, threatening under his nose and his strange habits. He had to admit the guy could cook great, but nothing that Fili would eat. Gollum kept preparing fish dishes, mainly raw ones, some fancy vegetables and musses. When Kili was slowly finishing Fili’s dinner, he noticed Gollum gaze at him curiously.

“What you cooking?” He asked in his strange Russian accent.

“What Fellan likes eating.” Kili told him. “Paella without sea food.” He put a small portion on a plate and gave it to the chef to try. The man took it suspiciously and poked a fork at it.

“Paella with no sea creatures?” He complained. “Not paella.” He tried a piece. “Good, good!” He admitted. “Are you chef?”

“No. I just make sure Fellan eats, there are few things he likes.” Kili admitted.

“So you’re his assistant?” The chef finally asked.

“Yes.” Kili showed him his pass again.

“You good in kitchen.” The crazy man admitted.

“I have to be, Fellan hates eating...” Kili told him gently.

“How can he not like eat?” Gollum gasped surprised.

“He’s just like that.” Kili shrugged his shoulders.

After serving Fili his favourite dish, and seeing a huge smile on his face Kili knew he did the right thing.

“You will always amaze me.” Simon admitted tasting what Kili prepared.

“Seems I’ll be cooking every day.” Kili noticed. “The chef here is great, a bit bizarre and crazy but great. But he can’t grasp Fellan’s eating habits.”

“Count us in, we loves tasting your food.” Timbaland joked.

“Will do!” Kili smiled.

After dinner they judges went for another round, and Kili returned to working on his project. In the middle of the last part of the auditions he saw three security officers approach him.

“What are you doing sir?” The asked politely at first.

Kili calmly showed them his clearance and tag. The men looked at it suspiciously.

“Is there a problem?” Fili immediately came to his side. He didn’t like the way the security was looking at Kili, and using the chance in between auditions he came up to them.

“Please return to your post Mr. Fellan we will handle this security issue.” The security man told him calmly.

“What security issue?” Fili looked at them with his best cold Thorin eyes. He took Kili’s laptop and gently embraced the now shacking boy clearly stating on whose side he was.

“We have a reason to believe this person was accessing classified information.” The security officer with the tag Aragorn told him calmly. “Please give us the laptop.”

“No.” Fili told them calmly.

“What’s going on?” Simon noticed the commotion.

“There has been a security breach and we probably found the source.” The security officer told him calmly and officially.

“I think we’re done for the day.” Fellan made his call. “Consult your supervisor about the contents of my contract.” Fili told him in a very deep calm voice. “And the next time you harass my assistant consider yourself fired.” He spoke in a such a cold tone Thorin would have been proud of him. He reached his hand to Kili and confidently entwined their fingers disregarding everyone around them and they just walked out.

Aragorn looked puzzled at Simon. And the celebrity decided to ease his shock a bit. “His assistant can pretty much do anything he likes around here, and if you have something against I believe it’s more likely you will be fired than Kili.” He told him lightly. “Consult your supervisor about his clearance and keep in mind we just finished filming two hours early just because of you.”

“We’re done for today!” Timbaland told the crew firmly.

\-----

After two days of fighting with Kili to get him out of bed for even a few minutes Fili gave up. He called Bilbo to grab Galadriel and come on the first flight possible. He called the production saying he’s cancelling the contract, and he stayed with him every minute of day and night. When production began calling him like crazy he just switched his phone to silent and stopped opening the door to anyone.

The third day Bilbo arrived, along with Frodo, Thorin, Balin, Oin and Galadriel. Fili could finally breathe, feeling the small boy hug him and Thorin embrace them both.

“Balin is really worried you want to cancel this contract, there is a huge cancelation fee.” Thorin told him gently. “Balin came here with us and is keeping them on hold.”

“Kili is more important than all the money in the whole world!” Fili told him with tears in his eyes.

“I’m glad you stayed with him this whole difficult time.” Galadriel gently touched Fili’s arms. “You managed the situation more than well, now let me talk to him.” She assured him gently.

When Balin arrived at the studio and had a meeting with the producers Simon and Timbaland immediately cornered him.

“What’s going on?” Simon insisted. “Is it true he wants to cancel the contract?”

“Kili had a breakdown.” Balin told them. “And Fellan will not leave his side at this time. Basically yes, he wants to cancel the contract and I’m going to do everything to stop him from it.”

“Can we help? He stopped picking up phone calls and he never opens his door.” Timbaland insisted.

“His family is there with him, so I hope things will go back to normal soon.” Balin assured them. “Now let me get to those damn producers.”

“We stalled things as well, we’re not filming without Fellan.” Timbaland smiled to him mischievously.

“I’m coming with you.” Simon made the call.

After four difficult hours of negotiations, Balin and Simon came to an agreement with the production, after calling Thorin and telling him what was agreed and listening to Fili’s response, Balin signed the updated contract and returned to the hotel.

“I bought you four days to get him in shape.” Balin told Thorin in a hushed voice.

“We need something a bit more, Galadriel said Kili feels unsafe he needs to settle with the person who caused the breakdown.” Thorin told him firmly.

“I’ll handle it. How is the kid?” Balin asked worried.

“Pretty bad, not suicide bad, but bad.” Thorin mumbled. “Galadriel is doing her best, without him Fili will not return to the show.”

“Clear as day.” Balin nodded grimly.

\-----

For Aragorn those three days were hell. The producers were so irritated he enraged Fellan, he had to listen to a lot of accusation and face many interrogations as to what happened. He explained he found an unauthorized breach in the system and following his duties he found the source. He had no idea Fellan’s assistant had such high competences guaranteed in the contract, and he had no idea why the boy would hack the system instead of just asking for access like any normal person. When Fellan told the producers he would cancel the contract all hell broke loose, and hell focused on Aragorn. So when Fellan’s agent called him to schedule a meeting he had no idea what to expect.

“Please sit down.” The polite grey haired man asked him. There was another man in the room, with a neatly trimmed beard and serious blue eyes.

“Mr Strider, could you please tell me everything about your conversation between Fellan and his assistant.” The grey haired man asked him politely.

Aragorn breathed in deeply and began at the beginning, from the hacking to the way he determined who did it and the confrontation.

“Did you at any time during the conversation lose your temper or raise your voice?” The agent gently asked him.

“No, I spoke officially.” The man told them calmly.

“You probably do not understand why we asked you here today, or why both Fellan and Kili reacted as they did during and after the conversation.” The dark haired man finally spoke. “But we have a request.”

“I would appreciate an explanation first.” Aragorn spoke slowly.

“Kili is a very unstable and fragile person. He doesn’t take any type of confrontations well, in fact his last one ended with a suicide attempt.” Thorin spoke slowly and impassively. “What Fellan has been doing the last few days was shielding him from the world, and he is in fact ready to cancel the contract just to make Kili feel safe again.”

Aragorn blinked and tried to process the information thrown at him.

“His therapist has spend over a day working out the stressor and the reason for the problems, and the only way to make him calm down immediately without long term therapy, and let Fellan go back to work, is in fact facing you again.” The man told him seriously.

“But it’s not about a real confrontation, it has be to a friendly conversation. In fact it has to have therapeutic qualities.” Balin told him calmly. “If you manage to convince him he’s safe and you’re not out to get him or harm him, we might get Fellan back to work on the show.”

“I can try.” Aragon finally agreed knowing his job was on the line.

“Good, I’ll go and tell Galadriel.” Balin got up and walked to the bedroom leaving Aragorn and Thorin.

“So tell me about your work.” Thorin asked the calm security man. And Aragon slowly told him what type of work he normally does.

When Balin came back in a few minutes and guided him to the bedroom Aragon was not prepared to see what he saw.

The boy was pale as a sheet, he was wrapped in a blanket with a normal t-shirt on. Fellan was sitting right behind him holding him tightly from behind. A beautiful woman was sitting on the armchair and gently talking to both of them. Aragorn’s well trained eyes quickly noticed the scars on the boy’s forearms. And the cuts on his wrists were fresh wounds, and indicated only one thing. He remembered the man’s words about a recent suicide attempt, obviously the man wasn’t lying.

Seeing him the boy went even more pale and began shaking and leaned back to rest in Fellan’s arms. His eyes were wide and his pupils dilated as if he took a lot of drugs, but Aragon could see it was fear.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry.” Aragon slowly began in a very gentle voice. “I wasn’t informed you were allowed to access the system without any limits.”

The boy remained silent he was still hiding in Fellan’s arms.

“I told you, no one is angry because you entered the system.” Galadriel told him calmly. “You committed no crime, so you cannot be punished for anything.”

“I was just going to check the laptop and talk to you. I didn’t mean any harm. You credentials were authentic so nothing bad would happen.” Aragorn slowly explained.

“How did you find it was him?” Fellan spoke for the first time.

“The old fashioned way.” Aragorn replied calmly. “We knew the entry was from inside the studio so we narrowed down the search, you left practically not trace so instead of focusing on the IP, we were remotely scanning all the computers in the system. And yours was the only one not responding.”

“See your program did work as it should.” Fellan gently kissed the boy’s forehead. “It’s still untraceable... You could hack into the most secure systems in the world and no one would know it was you.”

Aragorn’s eyes went wide hearing that implication.

“What kind of program?” He finally asked in a very gentle tone.

“My laptop could not make a false response system...” The boy began talking about the technical side of it, soon he spoke in algorithms clearly both Fellan and the therapist did not comprehend.

“That’s correct.” Aragorn quickly agreed to a very theoretical and elaborate idea. The boy gazed at him curiously. “So could you please tell me more about the program?”

“Why don’t you show it to him?” Fellan gently encouraged.

“My laptop?” Kili asked with huge wide eyes, clearly he was finally calming down.

“Here you are darling.” The therapist gave it to him and sat right next to them on the huge bed, and motioned Aragorn to join them by gently tapping the bed.

Kili turned on the laptop and turned on his program and placed it on the bed in such a way Aragorn could see it as well. He smiled seeing the wallpaper the famous photo of Fellan with the white tiger.

“Do you mind if I see the binary code?” Aragorn asked slowly, and the boy with a nod closed the program and opened the code. “Phenomenal work.” Aragorn gasped surprised with the intricacy of the code.

“Where did you learn to do things like this?’ He asked the boy surprised, but he just shrugged his shoulders.

“It’s just something that came to me... Ordinary IT is boring, the things they teach at university are just trivial and easy...” The boy admitted.

“So you adapt the code to what you need?” Aragorn asked with surprise. “Genius. Are you aware there are like a handful of people on the planet who can do something like this?”

“What do you mean?” Fellan asked surprised.

“He created his own coding system just to meet the needs of what he wanted to create.” Aragorn told him. “So could you please tell me why did you need access to the studio computer system?” He asked the boy gently feeling that he was finally relaxed.

“Last time he downloaded the whole video material, and stored it as back up... And he fixed the British studio. He would always show me the best part during production to give me tips on how to improve and to keep me confident in what I was doing.” Fellan explained slowly.

“That’s a very good reason.” Aragorn admitted gently. “So how do you like my security system?”

“It’s better than the British...” The boy slowly told him. “But not perfect.”

“For a hacker your class there is no impenetrable system in the world.” Aragorn laughed lightly. “I try to keep mine as safe as possible.”

“So maybe tomorrow we could go to the studio together and you’d show Kili exactly how you set up the system?” Galadriel went into their conversation

“That’s a great idea!” Aragorn admitted with a smile. “Maybe you could give me some tips on how to improve.”

“Would you really like that?” Kili asked him slowly. “You’re not mad at me?”

“Yes, I’d like that. And no I’m not mad at you at all.” Aragorn admitted.

“So tomorrow?” Fellan gently nudged the brunet.

“Tomorrow.” The boy replied with a smile.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter listening list:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnfyjwChuNU  
> Red Hot Chili Peppers - By The Way  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2T9mRgjXu18  
> Arctic Monkeys - When The Sun Goes Down
> 
> Songs mentioned:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJGCbRBc-EY   
> Sons Of Anarchy - House of the Rising Son (posing as Erebor)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPBzTxZQG5Q  
> 3 Doors Down - Here Without You (posing as Sunken)

The next day Galadriel stayed as close to Kili as possible, visiting Fili sometimes as well. As the boy was getting to know Aragorn his fears were slowly subsiding. The man was really nice. He was a high tech computer expert, and he knew a lot about computers far more than many of Kili’s teachers at university. He took a lot at Kili’s final project with great interest surprised the boy was writing a special learning program for kids who have problems with dyslexia. He gave the boy some tips and suggested he get the program tested by some kids.

Later the whole family came by for lunch and Kili finally was slowly going back to his normal hyperactive positive self.

Gollum the crazy chef practically fell in love with Bilbo, when the calm British man walked into his kitchen and took over. Thorin had to stare the Russian down, but Gollum kept mumbling about how Bilbo was ‘precious’. Learning he was the one who taught that ‘darling assistant’ how to cook, and that he was his father, made the crazy fish obsessed man ecstatic.

“We’re not taking him home...” Thorin mumbled grimly when Bilbo finally came out of the kitchen.

“No way... I’m not that crazy...” Bilbo gasped with a strange smirk.

After a few days they returned to Britain confident Kili and Fili would manage fine. Thorin gave his card to Aragorn and on the back he wrote a really attractive sum of money and a job offer.

Fili hated the auditions most, but knowing Kili was right there next to him he did what was expected of him, praying that they finally ended.

Then he and Kili sat down and divided the candidates, Kili helped him chose who to take, after for this selection he got one rock band, a rap group, a couple, a crazy religious group of singing nuns, a middle aged woman and a young Hispanic boy.

He had five days to get them ready and he could only use the staff, so he got Lindir to get them ready for the stage, and together with Kili they sat down to the music.

Having nearly thirty people to mentor meant a lot of work, but Fili was thrilled to finally get to this part.

As they were waiting for Fellan to show up, they tried to ask Kili millions of questions about him, but the brunet just smiled illusively.

“So do you think we could ask for autograph?” The middle aged woman named Sheryl asked politely.

“You may.” Kili told her calmly.

“Is he really going to help us himself? I heard many judges push it at the producers and crew...” One of the boys from the band called Mercury asked with a shy smile.

“He’ll come here himself.” Kili told him calmly.

“What’s he like?” The blond girl from the duo with her boyfriend asked with a flirtatious spark in her eyes.

“He’s nice.” Kili did not elaborate bouncing back questions with skill.

“So what do you do around here?” the Latino boy names Sandy Mendez asked.

“Everything... I’m responsible for making sure the judges get what they want.” Kili told them omitting his real job title.

“So you’re going to work with Fellan with us now? Or are you just here to serve him?” Antwon, a black boy from the rap group asked, he seemed a bit disappointed with the judge selection.

“I’m going to help out.” Kili gently told him. “How long are you planning to stand there?” He turned to Fili watching and listening in from the door way.

“This way I always get the best information.” Fili smiled and walked in lightly. “Hi everybody!” He greeted the singers.

They meekly replied not sure how to approach him or if they were in fact allowed to talk with him.

“Kili, the schedule please.” He turned to his assistant with a smile.

“The boot camp is going to be pretty intense, you’re going to have only five days to prepare and I mean prepare everything.” Fellan told them. “From music and the artistic side, to clothes, costumes, make up hairstyle and choreography.”

“I’m planning to focus on the music, because that’s the only thing on that list I’m actually good at.” Fili joked. “My personal stylist will help you chose costumes, makeup and hairstyle and everything like that. We also got a great choreographer to help each of you prepare the visual side of your show.”

“So you’re actually going to spend time personally preparing us?” Antwon asked unsure.

“As much as you can handle.” Fili smiled at them. “Kili here is my eyes and ears, and he’s good at this as well, so we’re both here for all of you.”

“When all of you settle down in the studio here and try to think of what you want to do for the next part. Listen to music, play music, dream...” Kili told them with a smile. “Mercury go first, SLUM start their session at noon, then we all have a lunch break at two, and at three Sandy is up, at five Mrs. Delgado, and at seven we have dinner. After dinner at eight Jim and Tanya are up. At ten it’s free for all, so anyone who still has some strength to try something can show up. Tomorrow eight it’s the sisters, the rest for tomorrow will be decided today after your session. Lindir our stylist will be walking around today and brothering you, taking measurement and talking about your expectations. The choreographer will appoint a session with all of you at lunch today.”

“Great!” The lead singer from Mercury smiled.

“So we can use those rooms?” They asked Kili hesitantly.

“Make yourself at home!” Kili smiled “These six are ours to use, each has got a name and I will put your schedule and notices on the door.”

“Thank you!” Antwon smiled and pulled his group to their room.

Soon everyone departed eager to start rehearsing and Fili and Kili were left with Mercury.

Fili took a chair and motioned the band to sit down on the comfortable sofa. Kili took a chair and sat right next to Fili and opened his laptop.

“So is the auditions you played Red Hot Chilli Peppers ‘By the way.’” Fili remembered. “I really like that song.”

“So what’s your plan for the next part?” Kili asked them.

“We’re having huge problems with that, we have like four different ideas and we can’t reach a compromise.” The lead singer admitted.

“So maybe we can start from introductions?” Kili suggested. “Give us your name and the song you suggest.”

“I’m Royce, I wanted Sunken ‘Without you’.” The lead singer said quickly.

“Mike, Erebor ‘Rising sun’.” The guitarist said quickly.

“Kurt, I was thinking of ‘When the sun goes down’.” The bassist added with a smile.

“Arctic monkeys?” Fellan asked his assistant.

“Yup.” Kili confirmed with a smile. “And you are?” He gazed at the drummer.

“John, I have no idea what I want to do, I was thinking either something from Linkin park or Nickelback.” The drummer slowly said.

“So basically five different ideas and four people to accommodate, just fucking great.” Fellan gasped.

“So we’re starting from scratch like last time?” Kili smiled at him. “Destroy to build up?”

“Exactly.” Fellan agreed. “So are you confident enough with the musicians or are you taking the singer?”

“You’ve got to be joking...” The assistant hissed and gazed at him, the band just gazed at the way he was talking with Fellan feeling comfortable and safe. “I’m nowhere near that good with instruments...”

“Great, so the singer is all yours!” Fellan smiled. “Let’s get to work.” He motioned the musicians to follow him. “Drummer you’re up first, did any of you go to music school are did you learn from friends or by yourself?” He began breaking them down.

“Come on...” Kili dragged the lead singer to the piano. “So did you learn music the formal way or the normal home style way?”

“Home style...” The singer admitted.

“So just sing away...” Kili began playing a simple well known tune, just like Fili did with him many times, and later they did a hundred times during Britain’s Got Talent.

“I can’t go that high...” The singer protested when Kili began playing much higher, so he adapted and began playing lower.

After nearly a half an hour Fellan demanded a muffin break. Kili just smiled and pulled out a dozen muffins from a hidden bag.

“So what now?” Royce asked them calmly eating a delicious muffin.

“Your voice is pretty low, you can’t hit the high tunes at all, so we have to pick something well balanced or adapt the song.” Kili told him his opinion.

“The bassist is the best, he actually went to music school, the others are home taught.” Fili summed up. “You probably practised only rock and connected styles?”

“Pretty much yeah.” The drummer admitted.

“So that means we’re sticking to rock and everything between rock and metal?” Kili noticed.

“The real limit being the lead singer’s voice.” Fellan immediately noticed and he gazed at Royce.

“Taking something in exactly the same style as in the auditions is out of the question.” Kili noticed dully. “Arctic Monkeys? It’s both challenging musically and vocally...” He suggested.

“Can his voice take it?” Fellan asked Kili.

“Well let’s say it this way, either he makes it or he breaks it.” Kili sniggered with a wide smile swirling on the chair.

“So do you guys know the song?” Fili asked then with a smile.

“We practised it before...” The bassist admitted in a meek voice.

“Prove it.” Kili swirled and dared them with a smile.

The band began playing, but Fili just crossed his brows.

When they stopped he gazed at them surprised. “Do any of you know how to read music notes?”

Two of them nodded. “You’re going to have a very long day today. You need to learn how to play this song by ten pm tonight, the last session tonight we’re staying up as long as possible.” Fellan told them bitterly. “Can you get them the notes?”

“Everything is online...” Kili quickly grabbed his laptop and began searching.

“Play the song to me first, I haven’t listened to it for a long time.” Fili asked with a pleading smile.

“Fine!” Kili clicked something and the song began playing.

“Why haven’t I ever tried singing it...” Fellan contemplated. “Have you?”

“You’ve just asked the most idiotic question of the century...” Kili gazed at him with sparks in his eyes. Kili quickly printed the notes for the band.

“We still have like fifteen minutes?” Fellan gazed at the clock.

“Let me guess you want to give it a go?” Kili smiled flirtatiously.

“You know me all too well.” Fili smiled happily. “Ten days without singing drive me crazy.”

“Fine!” Kili pulled out a guitar and passed it for Fili. “Bass or electric?”

“You’re crap at bass.” Fellan noticed.

“Great!” Kili smiled happily.

The band gazed at them surprised and puzzled with what was going on.

“Are you confident you can keep up after listening to it just once?” Fili gazed at Kili with a bright spark in his eyes Kili loved so much.

“Are you sure you can keep up with me?” Kili smirked.

When they began playing first a bit unsure but with more confidence with every note. The band looked at them puzzled even more, it took them many rehearsals to learn the song, but here these two just began playing after one time listening to the song. But their shock turned to horror when Fili began singing, and when Kili joined in... their faces turned to amazement.

“Damn...” Royce gazed at them as the duo finished singing. “I felt like crap before and now I feel like I’m fighting an impossible battle.”

“Everything is possible.” Fellan gazed at them slowly. “Practise makes perfect, everyone has to chose the right style and type of music, success at this show is all about preparation, and that’s what we’re going to do.”

“That was just beautiful!” Kurt the bassist shook Fili’s hand. “I knew you could sing, but boy can you play!”

“Thanks for everything you’re doing for us!” Royce told them with a smile.

“Let’s get going, we have another rehearsal.” Kili reminded him. “Ten pm – you have to know how to play the song!” He scolded the band.

“Roger boss!” The band saluted playfully.

Kili grabbed his laptop, unplugged it and guided Fili to the rap group.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter listening list:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4RbfhCAm6c  
> The National - Sorrow (posing as Sunken 'My Dying heart' - but it's not the person choice, somehow finding the perfect teary song was difficult this time)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbXgHAzUWB0  
> Axwell /\ Ingrosso - Sun Is Shining   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Va0vs1fhhNI  
> Lemon Tree - Fools Garden (a sad song but with a cheerful melody ;) )

SLUM were sitting in a circle in one of the rehearsal rooms with sour faces. Fili knew from the start they were disappointed he got them, and not Timbaland or LA. So he let Kili do the first part of the talking.

“So let’s start from introductions and then we’ll talk about how to deal with this issue.” Kili told them calmly.

“Antwon.” The most talkative boy quickly told them.

“Keon.” The boy next to him added.

“Jacody.” The third band member told them.

“Aston.” The fourth quickly added.

“D’Ante.” The last one. “This must be some joke, ain’t it?” The last one asked with spite.

“In a way it is.” Fellan admitted. “Timbaland thinks I can’t manage a group like you, so Simon pushed this nomination. In reality it’s a joke on me, in which you five got messed up.” Especially that the band probably still remembered his no vote.

“So what the fuck are we going to do about it?” Jacody hissed irritated.

“We prepare to the best of our mutual possibilities.” Fellan told them calmly.

“So you’ve not going to just abandon us and focus on the rock band?” Antwon asked hesitantly.

“Nope. I’m planning to spend an equal amount of time with each contestant.” Fellan replied calmly.

“What good is a rock star to a fucking rap group?” Keon hissed with spite.

“We’ll have to work around my lack of knowledge about rap and hip-hop and everything in between, and your expectations.” Fellan told them calmly.

“So we need to sit down a bit and plan how to do it, from what I understand the song you presented in the auditions was your own?” Kili asked them taking a look at his notes in his laptop.

“We only play our own songs.” Antwon replied confidently.

“And for sure you have more than just one song?” Kili noticed with a wide smile.

“That was our best one.” Keon grunted.

“So let’s listen to the others and sit down and think how to make them better, or how to write something better in five days.” Kili suggested.

So they began singing, or rapping or whatever it’s called. Fellan had no idea how to deal with music that did not work for him, that did not move him in any aspect at all. He sat there listened and he had no idea if he would manage with this mess. Then he heard Kili’s whisper “Don’t worry I have a backup plan.”

“So what do you think?” Antwon asked not sure how to read both their faces.

“The one in the audition was your best...” Fellan grunted. “Could you please sing that one again?”

When they finished there was silence. Fellan looked at them not knowing what to do or what to say, on the other hand he had to say something. Fortunately he had Kili right next to him.

“So I think that basically means we’re writing something new?” Kili noticed quickly when it became evident Fili would not say anything and was becoming more desperate. “Have you ever tried using another song as a frame, like many other artists do?”

“So you mean like using a melody line and adding lines?” Jacody asked. “Of course we did, but we thought we cannot use those because of authors rights and bullshit crap like that.”

“Let’s say it this way, you pick a song and I’ll get the right paperwork. This is just a contest and we can pretty much use anything we like.” Kili told them confidently.

“So how much of the song can we use?” Antwon asked.

“I would use the melodic line, spice it up a bit, add a beat, and then you guys add the lyrics.” Kili told them. “What do you think?” Kili gently kicked Fellan.

“Like Gangster’s paradise?” Fellan asked taking in Kili’s idea.

“Does that speak to you?” Kili asked him with a smile.

“Depends on which song they pick.” Fili admitted.

“Doing that is like making our music not our music...” D’Ante complained. “That’s why we didn’t do anything like that for the first round, it’s like cheating.”

“Yeah!” Jacody added. “We wanted to win with our music...”

“Think of it another way, if you chose something more popular, there is a chance you will go further in this competition. What do you think Timbaland is telling his nominees? The same fucking thing, I bet you all of them will go out using melodies and frames from other songs, because that appeals to the general audience.” Kili told them firmly. “I know true rappers hate that shit, but you have to think of this as a competition, and in very competition you have to meet some expectations. Think of the rap and hip-hop songs which rules the radios, all of them have frames and melodies some even normal vocals as the chorus, like Ghetto Gospel, or Gangster’s paradise.”

“How do you know so much about this?” Fili gazed at Kili suspiciously, but he just smiled illusively and turned to the band.

“Hey so what are you up to?” A voice startled them.

“Finally! What took you so long!” Kili rushed and hugged his brother Nori and then he hugged Bofur.

“Flying for nine hours is a bitch!” Bofur complained.

“Come on we need your help!” Kili pulled them into the room.

“You got a fucking rap group?” Bofur hissed seeing the black group.

“Simon’s and Timbaland’s kind of joke.” Fili noticed with a grin and hugged both of them. “So why did you pull them all the way from UK?” He gazed at Kili.

“You’ll see...” Kili smiled. “Nori, you’ve got five days to get these guys ready for the biggest show in their lives.”

“Is this some kind of joke?” Nori gazed at him and then to the group.

“Who is this?” D’Ante asked with spite.

“My brother Nori.” Kili smiled. “The only person I know who has a quite good idea about rap and everything around it.”

“Can you handle it?” Fellan asked Nori with hope.

“Not sure...” Nori hissed not very pleased with the idea. “But it’s not like I have a choice...”

“So you’re basically saying I flew all the way here just to spend five days watching him train a rap group?” Bofur hissed irritated.

“Nope, you flew nine hours to spend five days teaching a rock band how to play...” Kili smiled and guided him to Mercury.

“Is it me or is he becoming more pushy?” Fellan asked Nori curiously.

“He’s always been pushy.” Nori hissed at him. “So guys show me what you can do...” He turned to the band.

“Are you sure you can manage?” Fili asked Nori again.

“Just get the fuck lost princess.” Nori spat back at him already fired up. “Let the big boys handle their own shit!”

“Music to my ears...” Antwon smiled at the vulgar fiery red head.

Fili smiled and left them to it, when Kili returned without Bofur he just smiled at him and showed him to the elevator. “We just bought ourselves a twenty minute break.” Kili noticed with a smile.

“What do you have in mind?” Fili smiled flirtatiously.

“The one thing I always have in mind when you smile at me like that Sunshine...” Kili smiled back to him.

They saw Bofur’s and Nori’s luggage in their main room and Kili just pulled Fili into their bedroom with a huge smirk planting sweet kisses down his neck.

When they arrived at their dining room they saw most of the contestant apart from the two bands already eating lunch.

“I’ll go and get them.” Kili told Fili. “Try to order something edible.”

“Yeah right...” Fili hissed.

Kili rushed to the two rooms and first he scolded Nori and told them they just had to eat lunch, and then he had to do the same with Bofur and Mercury.

“So this is what you do most of the time?” Nori asked with a strange smile on his face.

“This is the best part.” Fellan told him. “The judging is crap.”

“So why did you take this show in the first place?” Bofur asked curiously knowing Fellan’s reluctance to publicity.

“We made a bet!” Kili told him with a huge smile.

“What kind of bet?” Nori gazed at him.

“If I do eight things from a stupid list...” Fellan began slowly and hesitantly, no sure if he should tell them.

“Then he’ll sing for the next Sunken album?” Bofur concluded impatiently. “That’s why Balin has been so smug the last weeks!”

“That’s great news!” Nori hugged Kili.

“I’m so fucking happy!” Bofur jumped out of his chair and pulled Kili into a bear hug. “No more long depressing ballads!” He announced to the world, but the contestants just gazed at him surprised by the unusual behaviour.

“Sit on your stupid ass you’re making a scene!” Nori hissed at him and pulled him down by his shirt to the chair.

“Easy Pit-bull!” Bofur smiled at him.

“What a cute nickname...” Kili spoke in a dreamy tone.

“Fuck you!” Nori kicked him under the table.

“We need to get to work.” Fili noticed with a smile.

“No we’re not, you haven’t eaten enough!” Kili hissed at him, and pushed some more food his direction.

“Anyway we’re off to work.” Bofur pulled Nori and they left following their bands.

“So who’s next?” Fili asked Kili.

“The Latino with the guitar.” Kili told him with a smile.

“Sandy?” Fili asked slowly taking a bit of the pie.

“Yup.” Kili smiled at him.

“Let’s get him and go to work.” Fili gazed at the shy boy sitting at a table with Sheryl, Jim and Tanya.

“Are you ready Sandy?” Kili asked the boy with a smile, the boy hesitantly nodded. “Come with me.”

The boy was very nervous and shacking, but despite that he followed Kili obediently.

When he sat down in front of them in his practise room, he looked as if he was going to faint. Kili calmly plugged in his laptop to the recording equipment and sat down in front of the boy.

“So Sandy, I hope you don’t mind I call you by your first name?” Kili asked and when the boy shook his head he continued. “I love the song you chose for the auditions, ‘Corazon Espinado’ has always been my favourite Santana song.”

The boy looked at him shyly, and then he gazed at Fellan with even more shyness.

“So tell me when did you begin singing?” Fellan gently asked the shy boy.

“I always sang, my mother loved singing...” The boy told them in a shy voice. “My dad he would play the guitar and she would sing to us.”

“So you come from a musical family?” Fellan asked slowly.

“Everyone in my family sings or plays.” The boy told him in a quiet voice.

“The same as with mine.” Fellan told him. “My parents were both musicians, my uncles and many family members.” He smiled at the boy.

“What songs are you considering for the next stage?” Kili gently asked the boy as he finally opened up a bit.

“I already know what I want to play.” Sandy told them slowly. “Sunken ‘My dying heart’.”

“Of shit that one...” Kili gasped as the boy picked the most desperate and sad song from the last Sunken album. The one most desperate song Fili wrote when he was dying feeling his unrequited love to him.

“What’s wrong?” Sandy gazed at him surprised with the reaction.

“I just... That song is great and everything, but it always makes me cry.” Kili admitted.

“Play it.” Fili passed the boy the guitar.

The boy began playing hesitantly at first, but he grew as the song progressed. When he began singing his voice nice and clear, more like a Spanish ballad style than Fili’s rock version, it gave the song an extra dimension. Fili gazed at Kili and saw the flood of tears on his face.

“Kili?” He gently asked as the song ended.

“I can’t do this...” Kili got up and rushed out nearly blinded by tears.

“Did I do something wrong?” The boy asked surprised with the reaction.

“You sang beautifully, he just... reacts like that to that song.” Fellan told him gently. “I’ll be back soon, continue practising, you don’t need any more advice from me, you’re perfect as you are.” He told him with warmth in his voice.

He found Kili in the bedroom crying his heart out. He quickly wrapped his arms around him and brought him closer. He knew Kili always broke down hearing that song, so he never sang it, and he tried not to expose him to it. It signified so much pain in between both of them. A very difficult time when they knew each other but weren’t aware of their mutual feelings. He held Kili closely and kissed him feverishly.

“I love you so fucking much... All that pain is in the past now...” Fili began telling him.

“But you felt it, you felt so sad and so depressed and I was there and I didn’t see it... I didn’t know and I couldn’t just be there with you and help you...” Kili gasped. “If only I had been braver... that night at the cinema or all those days when you came over... I could have saved you from so much pain...”

“Kili... Darling... You’re causing pain to both of us now... It’s the past, and I’ll never be so sad again... I’ll never be so desperate again... Because you are with me, you are by my side.” Fili assured him. “I love you, and I’ll never be alone again because now I have you... So please stop crying, I’m here and we’ll always be together...”

They began kissing feverishly, Fili kissing Kili’s tears off his face with huge tenderness. They made love there on the floor of the bathroom, tenderly and with so much emotion Kili’s heart nearly broke with the huge love he felt.

“Better?” Fili gently asked him.

“Much better... you’re a lifesaver!” Kili kissed him yet again. “I just love you so much...”

“You’re my life...” Fili kissed him again.

“Let’s clean up and get back.” Fili told him after a moment of cuddling. “We’ll go back to Sandy and play something else, just practise with him. Does that sound okay with you?”

“Okay.” Kili kissed him again. “I just wanted to say...”

“What?” Fili snuggled into his neck.

“I’m the luckiest person alive to be there with you...” Kili smiled at him.

“Funny I just though the same thing...” Fili lifted him from the floor and corrected their clothes.

When they finally made it down Sandy was quiet clearly focused on playing a song on his guitar.

“Hey, sorry for that.” Fellan told the boy with a smile.

“No problem.” The boy stopped playing, and gazed at Kili, whose face was still a bit red from crying.

“I’d like to spend the rest of our time together practicing.” Fellan suggested. “Maybe we could sing a few songs? But not as depressing as that one.”

“Anything you say.” The boy lowered his head.

Fellan stood up and picked an electric guitar for Kili and a bass guitar for himself.

“Bass again?” Kili gazed at him surprised.

“I just feel like it.” Fili smiled at him.

“So what do you want to play?” Kili asked.

Fili didn’t answer but he just began playing with a smile. A happy cheerful melody to counter the past bad mood. The boy looked at him surprised never hearing the song before, but Kili just smiled and began playing as well.

“I think I heard that on YouTube, you sang it during Britain’s Got Talent?” Sandy realised.

“Yup.” Fellan smiled at him.

“It’s beautiful.” Sandy admitted. “Are you going to record it for the next album?”

“Not sure yet.” Fellan told him. “So what’s your favourite happy song?”

Kili laughed hearing the first tunes of ‘Lemon tree’, and he simply joined in playing. Sandy began singing but soon all three of them were singing happily the song. The rest of their time with Sandy they spent on cheerful singing.

 


	28. Chapter 28

“So Mrs. Delgado now.” Kili announced, but noticed Sandy looked at them questioningly clearly too shy to ask.

“Would you like to come with us?” Fellan asked gently and the boy nodded.

“So come on.” Kili smiled at him.

“Just no more sad songs!” Fellan joked and the three of them went into Sheryl’s practice room.

They found her listening to music, she stopped the song seeing them come in.

“How are you doing Mrs. Delgado?” Fellan asked her with a smile.

“Sheryl please!” The woman smiled at them. “I’m not that old!”

“As you prefer!” Fellan told her.

“So Sandy have you picked your song?” She asked the shy boy.

“We’ve already rehearsed it, he’s simply great!” Kili told her with a smile. “So now it’s your turn.”

“How exciting!” The woman fidgeted on her chair.

“So dear Sheryl what do you want to sing for the next round?” Fellan asked her with a smile, the woman was really friendly and charming.

“I was thinking something sweet and romantic...” Sheryl smiled.

“Like?” Kili asked her gently.

“Like ‘I will always love you’.” Sheryl smiled.

“Mahal no!” Fili gasped. “That’s like the most cliché song ever, there is no way I’m letting you sing that.”

“He’s right.” Sandy admitted. “Too many try to sing it and later it just all the same.”

“They’re right.” Kili noticed.

The woman gasped defeated and gazed at them. “So what do you suggest?”

“Something nice, sweet and romantic.” Kili smiled at her. “Maybe like this?” He played a song on his laptop.

“I don’t know it...” Sheryl admitted.

“Funny it’s sang by a woman called Cheryl with a C.” Fellan told her.

“It’s called ‘Parachute’.” Kili told her.

“It’s much more modern and a better vibe.” Sandy liked the idea.

“So I’ll down load it for you and the lyrics and why don’t you give it a go?” Kili smiled at her.

“A great idea!” Sheryl smiled at them.

Later they gathered everyone and pushed them to go to dinner. Fili had a slightly better appetite after spending so much time on music, and Nori and Bofur’s cheerful company was soothing as well.

“Those guys are actually pretty good, we worked around their reluctant towards a whitie with red hair, so now we’re going forward.” Nori told them.

“I can’t say the same about the rock band, with their knowledge about music surprised they got here at all.” Bofur noticed. “I’ll work hard with them. So what do you have left for today?”

“The couple.” Kili noticed and gazed at the two sitting at the table with Sheryl and Sandy. They were both in a bad mood.

“It seems your work for the evening is going to be challenging.” Nori noticed with a smirk.

“Don’t even tell me about it.” Kili hissed back at him, he didn’t like the couple at all, their questions, their relation to each other, something was off about them.

After dinner Kili pulled Fili to their last audition with the Tanya and Jim.

The moment they walked in Tanya began hitting on Fili in a way which almost drove Kili mad, and which clearly irritated Jim a lot as well. The man was gloomy and Kili suddenly knew why they had been fighting all day. Fili gazed at Kili desperately and Kili decided he had enough.

“So are you here to get laid or to take part in the show?” Kili suddenly spat at her, surprising the girl, and making Jim grunt in agreement. All three gazed at the girl, who turned red and sent a shy glance towards Fili, and then gazed sternly at Kili.

“What’s that to you? You’re just a lousy low paid assistant!” She spat at Kili, which was her biggest mistake ever.

Fili hearing that kind of tone directed to the only person he loved in the world, stood up and gazed at her with such fury she finally realised she made a mistake.

“If you ever speak to him like that again, I will not spend even a minute helping you prepare for the next round.” Fili easily threatened her. “And since it seems preparing for the next round is not within your interests at the moment, I have better things to do.” He extended his hand to Kili and with a guided him out of the room.

“Now you’ve truly fucked up...” Jim hissed and left Tanya in the practise room by herself.

“So what are we going to do now?” Kili asked him with a smile surprised that Fili was still holding his hand.

“First SLUM and then we’re spending time with Mercury.” Fili easily decided.

“Yeah, let’s see how Nori is doing.” Kili smiled at that.

When they walked in the band is discussing something vividly.

“Great you found some time!” Nori yelled at them. “We need background vocals!”

“A super star like me reduced to background vocals?” Fili said with a happy smile.

“You need to learn your place!” Nori noticed wittingly causing both Kili and Fili to have a laughter attack.

“Thanks, just what we needed after that bitch...” Kili hugged him. “So what are we singing?”

“That’s what we were discussing.” Nori admitted. “We have the melody line, we have the beat and most of the lyrics. But we have not chosen the chorus and main theme.”

“Isn’t that liked going the wrong way?” Fellan noticed with a light smile.

“So play what you’ve got and we’ll try to get the right idea.” Kili told them.

“But there is a problem, if we use it like this, doesn’t that mean one of them will have to sing it?” Fili noticed.

“Keon will.” Nori told them pointed to the huge black boy. “With some practise with you two, he should manage.”

“Fine, so let’s get going.” Kili told them with a smile.

The gang began singing, and Fili and Kili were trying to focus more on the beat and melody line.

The song was about love, about meeting a girl and then getting together. It was light, it was witty. Fili gazed at them.

“Start from the beginning, after eight lines give me a moment.” Fellan told them confidently.

“Seems he’s got an idea.” Nori hissed. “Let’s do this shit.” He played the music on the laptop.

Antwon went up first, the gentle voice adding to the charm of the song. When he reached the last line of his verse Fili simply began singing.

“That girl is so dangerous

That girl is so dangerous

That girl is a bad girl

I've seen her type before she's so dangerous

That girl is so dangerous

That girl is a bad girl yeaaah”

The band sat there speechless and then Fili made a gesture to continue and D’Ante began singing the second verse. Fili motioned Kili and Keon, and the black boy just nodded, and as the second chorus come up all three began singing. When the third chorus came up Keon sang himself.

“You’re a fucking genius!” Nori grabbed Fili in a tight hug. “We spent a whole day on that song and you worked the chorus out in fifteen minutes!”

“So how do you like it?” Kili asked with a huge smirk gazing at the group.

“We’re going to be forever in your debt.” Antwon told Fili seriously. “I meant it!” He shook his hand.

“Well that song certainly is hit material, so you could give him the credits when you publish your CD.” Kili laughed lightly.

“So now what?” Keon asked surprised.

“Now you practise until you drop!” Fili told them. “You have four days to get a full show ready and sing the song perfectly!”

“So again.” Nori told them firmly and began playing the music.

Kili and Fili stuck around for two more tried helping Keon with the vocals and later they slipped out to check on Mercury.

Bofur was torturing them relentlessly and at least they were beginning to sound correct.

“Give us all you’ve got!” Fili taunted them.

“Here goes nothing!” Bofur told them and motioned them to play.

Fili and Kili sat back and listened.

“We’ll certainly you have improved.” Fili told them calmly.

“We need to work on those vocals tomorrow.” Kili told Royce with a smile. “But it seems this might actually work.”

“So we’re done for today!” Fili announced lightly. “Go to sleep, and we’re meeting at breakfast.”

“Finally!” Bofur grunted with delight. “Lead the way, I haven’t slept in forty eight hours...”

“And what were you doing in UK that didn’t allow you to sleep?” Kili asked him with a playful grin.

“You don’t want to know...” Bofur told him with a smirk.

“Hey you stop flirting with my ...” Nori hissed at him but didn’t finish the sentence.

“He’s all yours bro!” Kili made a give up gesture.

“Come on!” Fili guided them to the closest elevator.

When they reached the corridor they noticed Tanya in front of Fili’s door.

“What are you doing here?” Fili told her firmly.

“I thought we could talk for a moment. In private.” She told him with what was meant to be a shy smile. “I’d like to apologize for my behaviour earlier.”

“I don’t know who you are but I suggest you get lost!” Nori hissed at her, he opened the door using his key and pushed Kili in. “Get rid of the bitch or I’ll do it for you.”

“Your friends are rude, are you going to let them talk like that to a lady?” She pouted at Fili.

“It’s rude that you’re brothering us at this time of night. I suggest you get lost. Because we’re not talking in private.” Fili told her firmly.

“Don’t be shy, I’m not going to tell anyone...” She smirked at him and tried to come closer.

“I’m not interested.” Fili slammed the door in her face. He pulled out his phone and called the producers, and told them Tanya tried to harass him.

He faced Kili, Nori and Bofur. “I got rid of her, the bitch doesn’t understand a no.” He reached out to Kili and pulled him into his lap. Kili finally breathed in deeply and rested his head in Fili’s neck.

“You know I would never do anything like that, don’t you?” Fili asked Kili holding him as close as possible.

“I know.” Kili inhaled his scent. “It just bothers me.”

“I love you...” Fili told him gently.

“I love you too...” Kili replied and gazed up to his eyes and kissed him.

“Thank you both for coming here, we wouldn’t have managed without both of you.” He gazed at Bofur and Nori casually sitting near each other.

“So you’re officially together?” Kili asked curiously.

“More or less.” Bofur shrugged his shoulders. “We’re certainly living together.”

“Are you planning to make it official?” Fili asked them with a smile.

“To family and friends eventually yes, but as you can imagine coming out to the general public is not our goal.” Bofur admitted.

“Yeah, imagine later every talk show we would get questions about our coming out, about our sexuality, about how rock stars can be gay or not...” Fili hissed. “No way.”

“So how did this happen? You’ve kept everyone in the dark.” Kili asked them and reached for a snack.

“Well you remember the concert?” Nori told them slowly. “Well we sort of...”

“Use the right word, they are adult enough.” Bofur hissed at him.

“So you began fucking back then?” Kili asked straightforwardly gazing at them curiously.

“So you actually know that word?” Nori hissed at him, but his face was a bit red.

“Anyway we’re been meeting more or less regularly since then.” Bofur admitted.

“So why keep it hidden, why sneak around? Everyone in the family is pretty tolerant...” Kili asked them.

“We had no idea in what direction it was going, so for a long time we didn’t feel like any...” Nori told them but stopped suddenly.

“Obligations?” Fili supported.

“You could say so.” Bofur agreed. “He thought I was just using him, and well it took a long to convince him I was actually pretty serious about this.”

“And even longer to get me to move in with him.” Nori admitted.

“So why are you sitting a meter away?” Fili asked them gently.

“We’re not exactly...” Nori began.

“In a relationship like you two.” Bofur added. Both Kili and Fili raised their eyebrows.

“It’s basically sex.” Nori just shrugged his shoulders. Kili and Fili gazed at them even more curiously.

“And you feel no joy when you’re together? You feel no connection when you are holding each other?” Fili asked them puzzled.

“Or you’re both simply unwilling to admit it?” Kili asked them. “Just sex would not last for over a year... without anything deeper going on. You wouldn’t move in together if there wasn’t something deeper.”

“So you’re basically saying we’re too chicken to admit to our true feelings?” Bofur laughed.

“Yup.” Fili agreed, and decided to play them a bit and snuggled into Kili’s embrace. He winked at Kili and Kili just smiled back radiantly, and sensually ground against him. “Sex is just so much better when you love the person you’re with...” He gently placed his hands on Kili’s hips and forced him against himself. He saw in the corner of his eye as Nori gasped and Bofur was observing with hawk eyes their every move. Fili smirked and gently lifted Kili and kissed a trail of soft kisses down Kili’s face and neck.

“If you want to have sex on the couch just say so...” Nori spoke in a dry tone, his voice clearly distressed.

“It’s not about the couch... maybe we’d like you both to watch...” Kili gasped feeling Fili nibble on his collar bone. He giggled feeling Fili press into him harder clearly very aroused with the dangerous stunt they were pulling.

“Tell me Nori have you ever dreamt of having sex with Kili?” Fili asked in a sensual tone, gently cupping Kili’s ass and humping against him. “Kili has the most sexy ass on the planet.”

“He’s my brother...” Nori hissed.

“Not really... you’re not even related...” Fili gasped.

“That could be a turn on for some...” Kili gasped sensually. “I’d fuck my brother if I’d had a real one...” He ground against Fili impatiently.

“So would you or would you not fuck him?” Fili asked in a raspy voice, the special message Kili conveyed almost pushed him over the edge to have sex right there and then.

“I never found him particularly arousing...” Nori admitted in a low voice.

“Up till now...?” Fili gasped and continued to toy with them.

“Bofur?” Kili gently bent over. “Would you rather fuck me or Nori?” He asked in a low provoking tone.

“You can go and fuck yourself!” Bofur gasped and pulled Nori towards him. “I have all I need right here...” He kissed Nori without any doubt, and Nori replied wrapping his legs around him and kissing feverishly.

Fili didn’t have to wait any longer he lifted Kili and with a huge grin he carried him into their bedroom and with a kick closed the door behind them, leaving Bofur and Nori ripping their clothes off each other on the couch.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments please? Does continuing even make sense?


	29. Chapter 29

The next day breakfast in the main room was pretty crazy, clearly there was a fight between their nominees. Sheryl came up to them and asked what happened with Tanya and Jim, and it turned out Tanya had been saying some pretty bad stuff about Fili.

Kili called the producers to ask what to do in such a situation and soon Tanya was removed from the restaurant by security.

“I told everyone you’re a really nice boy, so don’t worry they don’t believe the stories she’s been telling.” Sheryl assured him with a smile.

“I’m really sorry for her, I have no idea what’s gotten into her.” Jim apologised on her behalf. “What’s going to happen now?” He asked them clearly very worried.

“I have no idea, we’ll contact the producers and lawyers.” Fellan told him calmly.

“Hey, so what’s the plan for today?” Bofur showed up followed closely by Nori.

“You spend like two more hours with Mercury, Nori with SLUM. Then you’ll go and help out the others a bit, or you can do whatever you want. It’s not like you’re under contract.” Fili told them lightly. “We really appreciate you came here...”

“You already did a lot.” Kili told them.

“So does that mean you want us to catch a plane back to UK?” Bofur asked with a strange smile.

“Nah, you’re welcome to stay as long as you want.” Kili told them with a smile. “You can always stay on the couch....” He added innocently, but almost making Nori choke on his orange juice.

“When did you become so...?” Nori asked surprised. “Outgoing?” He added.

“My horizons have broadened.” Kili smiled innocently.

“You created a monster...” Nori gazed at Fili with a huge happy smile.

“You have no idea...” Fili winked at him. “We have to get going our holy choir is waiting.”

“This is going to be fun...” Kili smiled and waved at his brother and Bofur.

The nuns were already waiting in the practice room, practicing chants. Fili and Kili walked in and the nuns stopped singing and glanced at him.

“So I didn’t see you at breakfast what time did you begin rehearsing?” Fili asked them after a short good morning.

“We always begin at six am.” One of the nuns replied with a smile.

“So maybe we can start from introductions?” Kili suggested.

All of the ten nuns quickly gave their names, the most eloquent was nun Sophia and clearly she was the one doing most of the speaking.

“So have you decided on a song for the next round?” Kili asked them remembering them singing ‘Joy to the world’ in the first round.

“We were planning to sing ‘Hallelujah’.” Sister Sophia slowly explained.

“That was... predictable.” Fili noticed slowly. “Out of the huge selection of choir songs, picking something so cliché might not work for your benefit.” He noticed.

“How long have you been practicing together?” Kili asked them.

“Well as a church choir we began nearly seven years ago, sister Hope and sister Teresa joined us last year.” Sister Sophia explained.

“So you I assume you sang a lot of songs together?” Fili asked them with a gentle smile.

“More than a lot I can assure you.” The nun replied confidently.

“I’d like to listen to a bit more before we pick a song, so you know ‘Carol of the bells’?” Fili asked. “That has always been my favourite.”

The nun just nodded and turned to the sister, they changed arrangement a bit and after a moment they began singing.

“It’s a huge pleasure listening to you.” Fili easily admitted. “Clearly the years of practicing gave you confidence and experience.”

The nuns were gazing at him clearly expecting a bit more. “I’m thinking, picking a typical song will not work for your benefit.” He told them slowly. “To gain more attention you would need to surprise both the judges and the audience.”

“So what song are you thinking?” Kili asked him slowly.

“I have no idea...” Fili admitted. “Is there anything else all of you enjoy singing?” He asked the nuns.

“We mainly sing Christian songs.” The main nun admitted. “Are you suggesting we sing something different?”

“’Down to the river to pray’?” Fili finally asked them, the nuns looked at him surprised.

“Well that’s not our typical repertoire.” Sister Sophie admitted.

“That’s more black gospel...” Sister Abigail noticed dully.

“Think about it.” Fili gently suggested.

“Maybe you could sing something more.” Kili suggested. “You have to feel comfortable with the choice.”

“I admit I’m no expert on Christian songs.” Fili easily admitted. “But I will try to help you to the best of my abilities.”

“So you’re not going to force us to accept you suggestion?” Sister Fara asked them gently.

“Of course not.” Fili told them. “The choice has to be yours, I can make a suggestion but that’s it.”

“So can we sign Hallelujah now?” Sister Abigail asked.

“Go ahead.” Fili smiled at them, and sat back to listen. “Would you like some piano accompaniment?”

“You could do that for us?” Sister Teresa smiled.

“Of course!” Fili sat at the piano, testing the tune first. Then he just began playing the song the nuns chose.

After a bit of practicing someone from production showed up.

“Mr. Fellan can we talk with you for a minute?” The man calmly asked.

“Can you handle this?” Fili asked Kili gently.

“Are you sure you can handle that?” Kili gazed at the producer.

“I’ll be fine.” Fili told him and left him with the nuns.

Kili quickly texted Simon to go with Fili and talk with the producers, he knew one more person sometimes made a huge difference.

“So what else would you like to sing?” Kili asked them gently. “I can’t play the piano very well, but I could play the guitar for you.”

“That would be nice.” Sister Sophie smiled lightly. “But you could answer a few questions first...”

“Questions?” Kili gazed at them surprised, suddenly he felt a bit overwhelmed by their domineering presence.

“Sit down please and don’t be nervous.” She asked him gently. “Me and Maria here couldn’t help but notice that you’re a very nice but troubled young man.”

“What do you mean?” Kili asked them slowly.

“We’re both psychologists, we worked with troubled kids.” The nun confessed with a gentle smile.

“I’m not that troubled anymore.” Kili told them slowly. “And I don’t need help.” He told them a bit more firmly.

“If anything that Tanya girl said is true, you shouldn’t be spending so much time with a person as destructive as Fellan.” The nun sat in front of him.

“What did she say about him?” Kili asked in a grin tone. The nuns looked at him startled, clearly not expecting that question.

“She said... he had an intimate intercourse with her, for his vote to the next round.” Sister Sophia said as illusively as possible.

“That’s bullshit!” Kili snapped and ran out to follow Fili and the producer.

“Oh my...” Sister Abigail noticed. “That was tactless my dear.” She scolded sister Sophia gently.

\-------

“What do you mean?” Fili gazed at the three producers sitting in front of him.

“She accused you of making a sexual proposition for your vote.” The producer calmly repeated.

“What?” Fili gazed at him surprised. “She was the one who making propositions to me, all of which I rejected and told her to stop.”

“It’s her word against yours.” The producer told him calmly.

“What’s going on?” Timbaland and Simon walked in with Kili.

“We are trying to verify that.” The producer told them. “Now if you would please leave, we’d like to finish talking to Mr. Fellan in private.”

“No, we will not leave.” Simon told them firmly. “All these accusations are false.”

“We have reason to believe she was telling the truth.” The producer told him. “She is currently in hospital, undergoing physical examination.”

“Hold your horses, so it’s not about a proposition, but about a physical act?” Timbaland noticed grimly.

“This is a private issue between us and Mr. Fellan.” The producer told him grimly.

“There has not been any physical act between me and that woman.” Fellan told them firmly. “She made a proposition I rejected, you can check the hotel security cameras.”

“Our technician is doing that right now.” The producer replied calmly.

“I know for a fact, Fellan did nothing of that type. He’s entirely innocent in this matter, and if you don’t stop making this more public than it has to be I will use legal measures.” Simon told them firmly.

“On what do you base your assumption?” The producer gazed at him with narrow eyes.

“That’s simply impossible.” Timbaland stood right behind Simon on the issue.

“Fellan tell them please, they are bound to confidence as well.” Simon gazed at the blond.

“Well, you see Kili is not really my assistant.” He told the producer in a low voice.

“Who is he then?” The producer gazed at the brunet next to Fellan.

“He’s my husband.” Fellan finally said it out loud. He saw shock on the producers faces.

“So you mean to say... you’re gay?” The oldest producer gasped.

“Yes, I am.” Fili calmly confirmed.

“And he wasn’t alone with her even for one minute.” Kili added slowly. “Nor she never entered his room.”

“Did he spend the entire night and evening with you?” The youngest producer asked slowly.

“They are inseparable.” Timbaland noticed.

“We spent the whole day together, and the whole night.” Kili told them. “Bofur and my brother stayed in our suite, and they can confirm that we did not leave our suite all night, and that no one else came in.”

“That changes everything.” The oldest producer noticed grimly. “Now we have to call in our lawyers and decide what to do with her and her false accusations.”

“This whole issue is very private.” Simon reminded them. “And you are all obliged to confidentiality.”

“We understand.” The producer noticed grimly.


	30. Chapter 30

Kili and Fili returned to their suite, and Kili immediately called Thorin. Fili was reluctant but Kili told him they had no choice.

“Hi Kili what’s going on?” Thorin asked still a bit sleepy. “Is something wrong?”

“We’re in trouble and we need a good lawyer.” Kili told him. “A girl came up with an accusation against Fili and the producers are deliberating, but it’s not looking good.”

“I’ll send Gloin there, I’ll call Balin. Don’t worry we’ll help you.” Thorin assured him. “I got the best lawyers in the world, and one of them is currently in New York.”

Right after lunch a man called Eomer showed up. He was a serious tall blond, dressed in a top class suit.

“Fellan?” He extended his hand. “Your uncle called me to help you deal with this issue.”

“So you’re one of his lawyers?” Kili asked the blond motioning to the chair.

“Not really, but our families have close businesses ties, and I have help him with legal counselling before.” Eomer told them calmly.

“Eomer?” Timbaland’s voice startled them.

“You know each other?” Fili noticed surprised.

“You met his sister already.” Timbaland noticed.

“Eowyn?” Kili asked.

“Indeed, she is my younger sister.” Eomer admitted.

“So how is your family business connected to my uncle?” Fili asked surprised.

“My uncle runs Rohan Farms and Edoras Oil Refinery.” Eomer told them slowly.

“So... he’s in uncle’s league.” Fili noticed.

“So do you want my help or not?” Eomer asked.

“We really need your help.” Kili made the call.

“Good, so after lunch I’m going to talk to your producer and find a temporary solution so the show can continue.” Eomer told them calmly. “Meanwhile continue work with those who want to work with you, others if they have objections due to the gossip, will work with another judge.”

“So are you as moody as your sister?” Fili suddenly asked.

“You have to forgive her she’s a bit spoiled. She’s the only girl in the family, and after my cousin died, uncle fawned over her a bit too much.” Eomer explained. “She’s thrilled with the song you both recorded.”

“It was good.” Fili smiled at him. “Thank you for coming so soon.”

“Don’t you dare worry, I’ll handle it.” Eomer assured him. “Feel sorry for the girl, when I finish dealing with her, and when your uncle’s lawyers get down to it, she won’t know what hit her.”

After lunch Kili and Fili returned to the studio feeling a bit better. Nori and Bofur decided to stay as long as possible and didn’t let them out of their sight. After a few rehearsals with Fili’s contestants, they settled in one of the rooms and simply played their hearts out.

“So what have you been working on?” Bofur gazed at Fili with a smile.

“That’s the problem, most things playing in my head are not Sunken album style.” Fili admitted slowly.

“So what are they?” Nori asked surprised.

“We call it off-style.” Bofur told him. “Funny that you say it, I’ve been having the same feeling recently, somehow our last album with all those teary ballads made me depressed, and somehow I cannot write rock anymore... It just doesn’t feel right.”

“Kili are you ready?” Fili gave him the guitar.

“You learnt how to play?” Nori gazed at him surprised.

“We’ve been practising a lot.” Kili smiled back at him. “Call it a hobby if you must...”

“Don’t worry he’s still average with more classical instruments...” Fili gently laughed.

“Give it your best!” Bofur smiled as they began playing a happy melody.

“Indie rock?” Bofur suddenly realised. “You’re both fucking crazy!”

And then Kili began singing, a happy tune, a flirtatious tune, his voice bright and clear, his tune happy and melodic, and then Fili joined in with his even more vibrant voice.

“Damn...” Bofur hissed.

“What’s wrong?” Nori gazed at him.

“That’s a fucking hit!” Bofur noticed. “Add two or three more instruments, and that’s a fucking international hit. Too bad we don’t sing songs like that...”

“Well you could always make an album under a different name.” Nori suddenly noticed.

“What?” Bofur gazed at him.

“Well treat it like a ploy, I bet the band would love to play something different as well. Find a cool name, and play all kinds of random stuff.” Nori told them.

“That’s actually a great idea!” Fili noticed. “Kili could sing with us.”

“Kili is going to sing with us anyway.” Bofur reminded him. “As long as you pull this off, and I think you will.”

They heard a knock on the door, Sandy was standing there with Sheryl. “Hi, could we please come in and listen?”

“You can do more, come on in and sing with us.” Fili invited them in with a smile.

“What song?” Sandy sat down and took a classical guitar.

Bofur just smiled and began playing a classic hit ‘Pretty woman’. Kili smiled and Fili quickly joined in and the four of them sang along.

When they finished the heard clapping and noticed Mercury stand at the doorway.

“Move it!” Kili smiled at them. “We need more musicians, even if you’re hopeless!” He pointed to the instruments.

Fili just began playing and watched if they could join in. Kili caught the melody immediately. It was one of Erebor’s greatest hits ‘ End of the line’. Even Sheryl helped with the singing. Then they just began playing ‘Seven wonders’ and pointed to Sheryl to sing the lead female voice.

“So this is where the party is at!” SLUM walked in with unsure smiles. “Is there enough room for some ghetto gospel around here?”

“Come in!” Fili smiled at them.

“So what you singing?” Antwon asked with a strange smirk.

“Old hits.” Kili told them.

“So what’s your favourite Erebor song?” Royce from Mercury asked.

Fili just smiled and began playing, and Kili joined in. Everyone including Bofur looked at them surprised. Then Kili began singing with his deep clear voice, for the chorus Fili’s crystal clear high voice would join in and bright the tune even higher.

“That’s from the unreleased album, isn’t it?” Bofur suddenly noticed.

“Nope, only the note version was left.” Fili told him calmly. “It’s called ‘Tango in the night’.”

Everyone at the studio looked at him surprised.

“Where do you get your hands on stuff like that?” Nori asked surprised.

“By accident really.” Fili just shrugged his shoulders.

“So what’s your favourite Erebor hit?’ He asked Sheryl with a smile.

“’Family man’ has always held my heart.” Sheryl admitted with a tender smile.

So Fili just began playing.

“What about you Sandy?” Kili asked the shy boy.

“I always liked the old albums better, so probably ‘Last night’ or ‘Tweeter and the monkey man’.” Sandy admitted. “I loved Frerin’s voice so when he sang less with the further albums I somehow preferred the older ones.”

“Villi and Dis dominated the singing in the last years of the band.” Fili calmly noticed, trying to sound uninvolved emotionally.

“It’s sad the band ended so tragically, they could have made a lot more genius music had they lived longer.” Sheryl gasped sadly.

“Shit happens.” Bofur told her gently.

“I always preferred the later albums, and I know those best.” Kili admitted.

“And I never was a huge Erebor fan.” Nori hissed.

“I don’t think you know this one as well.” Fili began playing a vibrant rock melody, and he began singing in a delicate voice, and Kili would only add a bit from time to time.

When he stopped they heard clapping from the door. And Fili gazed up to see Thorin standing there with Frodo in his arms.

“I’m surprised you found that old song.” Thorin noticed with a smile he walked in and gave Frodo to Nori and took a guitar himself.

“Now did you get to this one?” Thorin gently began playing, as if the years separating him from being in the band and now never existed. Fili gazed at him curiously and nodded.

“So go for it...” Thorin smiled.

And Fili began singing and playing a teary melody.

“When I see you again

Will it be the same

When I see you again

Will it be over

When I see you again

Will your great eyes still say”

Kili smiled and join in recognizing the song from the notes they had studied at home.

“And who might you be?” Sheryl asked the handsome man politely.

Thorin just smiled and began playing and nodded at Kili. And Kili just smiled and began singing.

Timbaland gazed into the room. “Well you just need a zebra and an elephant in here!” He gasped surprised with the crowd. “What am I saying you already got a unicorn! Nice to see you again Thorin!” He shook his hand.

“Thorin?” Sheryl gazed at him, as did most the of the people in the room. “As in Thorin Oakenshield?” Her voice nearly broke down on that line.

“Should we know who this guy is?” D’Ante asked surprised.

“The last living member of the band’s songs we’ve just been playing.” Sandy whispered.

“What? This dinosaur?” Antwon asked surprised. “He’s some super rock star?”

“Retired super rock star.” Thorin corrected the black boy.

“So the producers made their decision, Fellan we need to talk.” Timbaland called him out. “Don’t worry I’ll go with him.” He motioned Thorin and Kili to stay.

“Is this your son? He’s really sweet!” Sheryl grabbed Frodo from Nori’s arms.

“Yes, he is.” Thorin smiled lightly.

“Are you going to be a star like your daddy?” She asked the child with a smile.

“Nope.” The boy replied with a smile. “I’m going to write books like my other daddy.” The boy extended his arms to Thorin.

The woman just blinked at what she heard. “That’s a fascinating idea!” She smiled at the small boy and passed him to Thorin.

Dori showed up in the door way. “Dad says if you don’t show up for dinner now, you might as well find yourself a new hotel to stay...” He hissed at Thorin.

“What are you doing here?” Kili smiled at his oldest brother.

“We’re taking over this show!” Dori told him. “Just like dad took over the kitchen, so move it before the edible stuff disappears and we’re stuck with raw fish prepared by that loony!”

“So really what are you doing?” Nori hissed at him. “Don’t you have a company to run?”

“We decided you needed support from the whole family!” Dori told them. “I’m serious when I said we’re taking over! Thorin hasn’t told you anything?” He smiled guided them to the restaurant.

“We were kind of busy...” Thorin winked at Kili and Fili.

When they arrived at the dining room they saw the whole Sunken band at the table along with Bilbo, Ori, Bombur, Oin and Galadriel.

After hundreds of hugs, and greetings they finally managed to sit down.

“Your dad is the most pushy guy on the planet!” Legolas’s voice surprised them as he and Tauriel appeared from nowhere.

“He just packed us all in the jet saying you need us, so we’re here!” Tauriel hugged Kili tightly. They sat down to dinner, and in between friendly chatter and family Kili finally felt safe. He knew all of there were there for them. He knew he could count on their support.

So when Fili finally showed up followed by Timbaland, Simon and Eomer, he could only launch at him and hug him tightly.

“This is the best day ever!” Fili hugged each band member one after one.

“We’re all going to stand by your side boy!” Dwalin patted his back.

“We’ve got your corner!” Dain smacked him gently.

“Head up boy! We’ve Sunken already!” Gimli joked.

“You guys are the best!” Fili had tears in his eyes.

“We’re your friends! You can always count on us!” Bofur joined in.

“Come on you need to eat, Bombur’s and Bilbo’s cooking is the best.” Kili led him to an empty seat and began serving food.


	31. Chapter 31

The rest of the preparation went fast. The lawyers quickly solved the problem with Tanya, and soon the work went forward. It was far better having everyone around to have his back and Fili felt relieved. Kili was there always, but having all his friends and family added to his comfort. Soon the contestants took part in the main part of the show. Fili felt relieved when it was finally all over. The show causing so much stress and so many problems he decided it wasn’t worth it.

“I’m so glad to finally be back home...” Fili gasped annoyed. “No more talent shows...”

“Well actually...” Kili blushed.

“Don’t you dare tell me...” Fili growled.

“Just one episode!” Kili squeaked. “We’ll fly to American sometime next month.”

“What fucking show?” Fili growled.

“You know that chef from the show? The crazy one? Well he’s going to be one of the judges... and well he asked me to bring you there... and the contestants will have to try to make something you will actually eat...” Kili confessed.

“What show?” Fili noticed with spite.

“Top Chef?” Kili pretended to run away, but Fili easily caught him.

“You little devil...” Fili kissed him and pulled him towards their bedroom. “If we’re going to top chef, you’re cooking as well! I’m not risking eating some crap...”

\-----

“So how are you both handling everything?” Galadriel asked them calmly with a smile.

“Pretty well. Apart from all the stress in American it was okay.” Kili noticed.

“Are you two happy?” Galadriel smiled.

“Like never before.” Fili took Kili’s hand tenderly.

\------

“So how is music for the new album going?” Balin asked slowly.

“Well it’s not actually a new album.” Bofur admitted shyly.

“What do you mean?” Balin gazed at him with spite.

“We’re going to do something crazy... We want to make an album, but under a different name... A completely different style.” Bofur confessed.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” Balin gasped, and it took Bofur really a long time to convince him it was actually a very good idea.

\------

Flying back to America was stressful, but Kili was right by his side and taking care of everything. The luggage, hotels, food. But the idea he was going to show up on Top Chef as a judge was disturbing. Especially when considerating that he hated most kinds of food.

“Goody Goody!” Gollum hugged Kili with a huge smile as they made it to the studio. “I can’t wait for your food!”

“Kili’s cooking?” Fili noticed surprised.

“Of course he is!” Gollum gazed at him surprised. “He not tell you?”

“About?” Fili asked surprised.

“He’s one of the best mouths in the world! His food unique and perfect!” Gollum gasped. “He’s Precious!”

“I know that!” Fili smiled. “But why is he cooking in this?”

“We want to play a devilly game with the cooks... You are Star, and we all know you hate food. So they have to try and cook the best dish so you eat!” Gollum explained. “And Precious, is going to pretend to be another contestant! So they will be worried that new person join... and they will compete against him!”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Fili noticed.

“It’s going to be fun! And I get to see the source recording and do cut outs!” Kili smirked. “It’s just one episode!”

“Fine, but he tastes the food with me!” Fili made a pout.

“We can do!” Gollum nodded. “He cook and later take chair at the table.”

“Sounds okay.” Fili nodded.

\------

The six contestants were really worked up when they noticed a seventh person joined them. The gazed at the young boy surprised, but no one dared asked him who he was.

Kili calmly took a table and cooked as if he was a regular contestant. It was fun, and somehow he gazed around surprised with all the trouble some of them had. The contestants had it double hard during the quick fire because they had no idea Fellan was judging their food. And only for the next round they could ask him questions about his likes and dislikes.

Kili walked into the pantry and just smiled seeing the huge choice, and in his mouth he could immediately taste what he wanted to make.

“Who is that?” Some of the contestants began whispering.

“No idea...” A girl answered.

“What the fuck is he cooking?” Another gazed at his pot.

“It looks like mashed potatoes...”One of the contestants hissed.

“Why is he cooking as if there was no clock?” Another complained.

\------

When Fellan walked in the contestants went crazy, but he just calmly sat down and gazed at them.

“So I bet you all know our guest judge!” Padma announced. “And his incredibly picky pallet has been the dread of most chefs all around the world.”

“I’m that famous?” Fellan noticed lightly.

“You were the nightmare of ten chefs I know personally.” Tom joked.

“So dear contestants, pray your food meets the highest standards possible.” Padma warned them.

She called out contestant by contestant. And Kili laughed inwardly as Fili picked on everything and tried just tiny bits and pieces. The contestants were terrified seeing him eat, and as he grimaced time after time, Tom’s joke seemed true.

“Precious what did you cook?” Gollum asked Kili as the last person to come up.

“No name for it. Yet.” Kili just smiled and placed the plates in front of them.

“So what is it made of?” Tom asked curiously seeing the single sauce looking soup.

“Celery root, parsley root and cauliflower, on a chicken stock.” Kili calmly explained with a grin.

Tom just took a tiny sip gazing suspiciously at the bowl, and then his eyes went wide.

“I must admit. I have never eaten anything quite like this before.” Padma continued eating spoon after spoon. “I can’t even being to guess what spices you used...”

“He adds a tiny bit on dried ginger...” Gollum tasted it suspiciously. “And a tiny bit of nutmeg. It’s as good as I had wanted to eat today.”

“I love the way you made it all the same colour, but the soups has like three layers.” Tom added.

The contestants gazed at Fellan, who in fact was busy eating, when he finished he just moved away the empty plate and smiled. “Great soup!” He smiled.

“What did you do to the celery and parsley roots to make it taste like that?” Tom asked curiously.

“I baked them a bit.” Kili just smiled.

“Brilliant idea!” Tom smiled.

Kili walked with the contestants to the waiting room, but all of them just glared at him. No one even tried to approach him, so he just sat down and waited.

“We’d like to see Jill, Tommy and Dinah.” Padma announced with a light smile.

When they came back and Dinah was the winner, the other three left with grim faces.

“Bottom three again!” Steve complained and sat down grimly.

Padma came over and invited them back into the kitchen. Soon the chefs drew knives and were set up in a pairs. Kili left alone. Soon the three groups got a chance to ask Fellan three questions each. Kili just smiled and walked to the pantry.

“So if you could have anything in the world what would it be?” Dinah as the winner asked the first question, the fifth chair at the table was setting her uneasy.

“Nothing?” Fellan noticed with a shy smile. “I’m not much into food so well I guess muffins?”

The group looked terrified at that word and the idea of making a dessert.

“Do you like seafood?” Steve asked quickly.

“I hate seafood.” Fellan answered that one easily.

“Do you prefer things spicy and hot, or maybe sour or sweet?” Tommy from the third group quickly asked.

“I don’t like sour, sweet and spicy are okay, but not too much in any direction.” Fellan told them vaguely.

“Do you like fish?” Jill from group 1 asked quickly.

“Depends...” Fellan noticed. “It can’t be raw and I hate fishbones.”

Group 2 asked about type of cuisine and heard he liked Italian best, but he also enjoyed Mexican. And the last group asked about favourite fruit, which was strawberries.

When they finished asking they ran to the pantry as Kili was already walking out. He just smiled and took his table and calmly began making the three dishes he had in mind.

“He’s making muffins...” One of the contestant gasped.

“Why does he have beef as well?” Another one asked.

“No idea...” They returned to work.

“Damn that smells great...” Someone noticed as the smell of muffins began filling the studio.

When time was up, Kili just smiled at the three dishes he composed, and he saw terror on the faces of the competitors.

“So Precious what feasts you prepared for all of us?” Gollum asked curiously gazing at the plates.

As the judges tasted the appetizer and main course they could only smile.

“Just wow!” Tom noticed taking a bite.

“I told you he’s the best!” Gollum noticed with a huge smile. “Although his dad is equally good.”

Kili just blushed slightly and nodded.

“Food worth of a king!” Padma laughed lightly. “So now competitors take a fork each and try what the person who was cooking in the same conditions and the same time made.”

The contestants were shocked when the boy took the fifth chair at the table, and they slowly tasted the food he prepared. Dinah just gazed at him and walked back without a word.

“Let’s see if your dishes are on par.” Padma declared.

The first was Tommy, but Fellan just gazed at it and shook his head. “Nicely or not nicely?” Kili just hissed and slowly Fili took a tiny bite.

After the first bite Kili just closed his eyes. He could sense all the spices and flavours. But it wasn’t anything special or unique.

After the fourth he felt sorry for Fili about forcing him to eat. When the contestants left for the waiting room, they saw a plate with fresh muffins waiting for them and a short note ‘Good luck!’

“Damn him! Who the hell is he?” Dinah gasped.

“He surely makes kick ass food and divine muffins!” Tommy just bit down and felt the gentle chocolate hit him.

“It’s like a muffin lava cake!” Jill realised immediately.

\------

“So who was the best?” Padma asked Fellan with a smile.

“Kili?” Fellan pointed.

“Apart from me...” Kili hissed.

“Well certainly I wouldn’t order any of it... but actually I liked the lobster.” Fellan finally admitted.

“You liked the lobster?” Kili was surprised with a huge grin. “It was a bit overcooked for me, but well you did eat it...”

“Which is an achievement.” Tom laughed.

“What did you think of team one’s food?” Padma directed the conversation.

“The baked lamb?” Fellan scowled. “The bone just looks creepy and the smell...”

“Too much dried fruit, it was too sweet.” Kili easily noticed.

“Amateur!” Gollum hissed.

“So are we in agreement?” Tom asked.

“Da!” Gollum noticed quickly.

\------

When they called them back in, Padma stood up and introduced Kili as Fellan’s personal assistant and cook.

“And the guest judge is going to announce the winner.” Padma noticed.

“I’m not much into seafood and strange creatures, but I consider the lobster edible. So that’s the winner tonight.” Fellan told them with a sly smile.

\------

“That was actually pretty fun.” Fili noticed as they were flying back to the UK. “But your cooking is the best.”

“I’ll always be cooking for you.” Kili assured him with a smile.

The End


End file.
